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💫 Summary
The video provides 5 key steps for reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant ex, emphasizing the importance of communication, accountability, and willingness to address past issues. The process involves a period of no contact followed by gradually rebuilding momentum and reconnecting before having a discussion about the previous relationship's challenges and how to prevent them from reoccurring. A comprehensive course on repairing any relationship is also mentioned.
✨ Highlights📊 Transcript
In order to reconnect with a dismissive avoidant ex, it is important to ensure that both parties are willing to have tough conversations, come up with strategies together, and be accountable for their actions.
00:00
The first step is to determine if the ex is willing to have tough conversations about what went wrong in the past.
Both individuals should work together to come up with strategies to address the issues.
Accountability is crucial for a successful outcome in reconnecting with an ex.
The process of reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant after a breakup involves going no contact for about six weeks, allowing their repressed feelings to resurface, and then setting a deadline to try to reconnect for a certain period of time.
01:42
Dismissive avoidants repress their feelings during the first six weeks after a breakup.
After six weeks, their feelings start to resurface, and their defenses lower.
Reaching out and reconnecting is recommended around the two-month mark.
The process starts with building momentum and setting a deadline for yourself.
The key steps to reconnect with a dismissive avoidant in a relationship are as follows:
03:25
Start by building momentum and chatting casually after about seven weeks of no contact.
Reconnect and chat for about two to three weeks before taking the next step.
Plan a low-key meetup like coffee or drinks to establish a connection.
After the first meetup, continue texting and hanging out for a week, and then express your feelings and desire to reconnect.
Having a discussion about what didn't work in the past and how to solve those issues is important before reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant.
05:09
It helps to be self-aware and have different discussions to avoid repeating the same outcomes.
This dialogue helps determine if the person is willing to participate in the relationship.
If the conversation goes poorly, it may not be worth spending more time with that person, regardless of their attachment style.
00:00my name is tyles gibson and i'm the
00:01creator of the personal development
00:03school
00:04this is your daily breakthrough video
00:06and in this video i want to talk to you
00:07a little bit about the reconnecting
00:09stage of getting your dismissive
00:11avoidant ex back
00:16now i want to start this video off by
00:18saying when it comes to getting an ex
00:20back there are a few things we want to
00:21be really sure of first
00:23number one are we making the right
00:25decision and under number one it's sort
00:28of like a b and c a being
00:31do we think that this person when we do
00:33reconnect with them is going to be
00:35willing to have tough conversations
00:37about what didn't go well the first time
00:40and you know be willing to talk about
00:42these things and and share hey these
00:44were my unmet needs
00:46um these were my fears these are the
00:48things that um are a concern of mine
00:51this time around and for you to be able
00:53to share those same things
00:55b
00:56being do you both come up with
00:57strategies together to work through them
01:00and c being
01:01is there accountability from both ends
01:03okay and i can't stress this enough
01:04because i see so many people and i just
01:06wanted to like put a disclaimer out here
01:08i'm gonna do this for each attachment
01:09style video but i just see so many
01:10people be so focused on the result of
01:12getting their ex back
01:14that sometimes they forget
01:15hey for that to be a fulfilling outcome
01:18there has to be a shift because if the
01:20relationship didn't work out the first
01:22time
01:22in order for you know us to see some
01:25some healthy some positive change we
01:26want to see the needle move because both
01:28people have those sort of pre-qualifiers
01:30the a b the c
01:32um and if both people are willing to put
01:34in the work willing to be accountable
01:35and we'll have that tough conversation
01:38um then we can see really good outcomes
01:40so anyways that's my thing i wanted to
01:42share first okay
01:43so the actual reconnecting stage here
01:46of getting the dismissable void and
01:48x-back basically looks like this i get
01:49asked this all the time so i figured i
01:50would just put it in the video
01:53go no contact
01:54the relationship ends go no contact go
01:56no contact for about six weeks
01:59maybe up to two months generally
02:01dismissive avoidance for the first six
02:03weeks of a breakup totally repress their
02:05feelings um i mean there are some
02:06exceptions to this but as a general rule
02:09they'll really go into self-protection
02:11mode which is them pushing their
02:12feelings down into a box and distracting
02:14themselves largely through creature
02:16comforts so through you know drinking or
02:19distractions or whatever it might be to
02:21just sort of push everything away now
02:23during that time they might be like oh
02:24i'm fine
02:25but after six weeks or so those feelings
02:28start to creep back up and sort of creep
02:30back in and we start to lower our
02:31defenses within ourselves
02:33um and then we'll start to see oh my
02:35gosh we start feeling the feelings we
02:37start missing the purse and we start you
02:38know all those different things so right
02:40around that period of time for da's
02:42usually closer to the two-month mark but
02:44as early as six weeks
02:46um that's a really
02:48sort of prime time to
02:51um
02:52to reach out and reconnect now the
02:54actual reconnecting part
02:56um starts off
02:58by
03:00not going right into a b and c that i
03:01talked about it starts with just
03:02building momentum first
03:04set a deadline for yourself how long are
03:06you willing to try to reconnect for
03:08generally you want to try for
03:09maybe three months i mean it depends on
03:11the length of the relationship if it's a
03:1220-year marriage you were in with
03:14children and a mortgage you might want
03:16to try for a year right so so you want
03:17to pick a deadline that works for you
03:19and then in that time period
03:22you want to
03:23um jump in there and be like okay let's
03:25just build the momentum first let's just
03:27chat a little bit first you know
03:30reach out maybe around the seven week
03:32mark for example of no contact you're
03:34like hey how are you like what's been
03:36going on for you how are you doing
03:38and then you know start to just sort of
03:40reconnect chat a little bit share some
03:42laughs you want to reconnect with the da
03:44for generally about two maybe even three
03:46weeks before then taking the next step
03:48that next step should be sit down for
03:50coffee um you know go out for a drink
03:52like something very low-key
03:55where you just have a nice time and then
03:57after that nice time is sort of
03:58established and that connection sort of
04:00been established that's where maybe a
04:02week later you hang out again you text a
04:04little bit that week in between maybe
04:06just one two three times tops
04:08um and then
04:10you spend that second time together and
04:11then you say hey you know i still have
04:13some feelings here
04:14and i want to you know reconnect with
04:17you and dive into this a little bit by
04:19the way i have a full course on this
04:21um it's called how to repair any
04:23relationship and it's designed to talk
04:24about like how to reconnect with anybody
04:27be it an axe the family relationship of
04:28friendship um and the steps required to
04:31do so and also understanding like what
04:33the best outcome is based on the state
04:35of the relationship based on if the
04:36person qualifies those three
04:38pre-qualifiers of doing the work and
04:40showing up and so it really helps you
04:42understand like the best outcome that
04:43that relationship has the capacity for
04:46and then what steps to take accordingly
04:47you can check it out for free for seven
04:48days um using the link in the
04:50description box below but anyways once
04:52you've sort of seen the person the
04:54second time that's a really good time to
04:55be like hey i still have some feelings
04:57here obviously we're spending time
04:59together um i'm hoping it moves in a
05:01different direction this time around but
05:04um you know i don't want to like jump in
05:05at 60 miles an hour and put all this
05:07pressure on it but i do want to be
05:09mindful of the fact that if we're
05:11spending time together again and we're
05:12thinking of reconnecting going back into
05:14this i think there's like a discussion
05:16we should just have
05:17that's hey what didn't work the first
05:19time you know what were our pain points
05:21and problems and how we try to solve for
05:22them this time around so we don't go in
05:24just repeating the same outcomes but
05:26instead we're more self-aware we know
05:28how to have different discussions and we
05:30can prepare for a healthier more
05:32harmonious connection this time around
05:34and that way we don't waste our time and
05:36we can keep enjoying spending time
05:37together and that's when you're
05:39qualifying the person right that's when
05:41you're like if that conversation goes
05:43poorly to be quite honest i wouldn't
05:45spend more time with that person no
05:46matter what their attachment style is
05:48you know anything
05:50um
05:51and it's really important to have that
05:53dialogue because then you get to see
05:55is this person willing to participate in
05:57some cases yes somebody will
05:59um be like oh you know i'm scared to
06:01have that conversation or i can't have
06:02that conversation for any any number of
06:04potential reasons
06:06but
06:07then you have to ask yourself like
06:10then do i want to be walking on
06:11eggshells to try to people please to win
06:12them back over if we can't even disrupt
06:15the patterns that led to negative
06:16outcomes the first time around
06:18so that's my take on this
06:22um i hope that makes sense again you can
06:24check out that course how to repair any
06:25relationship in the description box
06:27below you just go into the all access
06:28membership pass when you go and it gives
06:30you access to literally every single one
06:31of our courses for free
06:33but you just type in the dashboard
06:35repair and you'll see the repair any
06:37relationship course come up so
06:39um hopefully that makes sense thank you
06:41for watching thank you for being here
06:43please like share and subscribe if you
06:44haven't already to this channel and you
06:46hang out here i would really appreciate
06:48it and i'll see you in the next video
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FAQs about This YouTube Video

1. What are the 5 key steps for reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant ex?

The 5 key steps for reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant ex involve communication, accountability, willingness to address past issues, a period of no contact, and gradually rebuilding momentum and reconnecting.

2. Why is communication important in reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant ex?

Communication is crucial in reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant ex because it helps in understanding each other's perspectives, expressing emotions, and resolving conflicts, leading to a healthier bond.

3. What role does accountability play in repairing a relationship with a dismissive avoidant ex?

Accountability plays a significant role in repairing a relationship with a dismissive avoidant ex as it involves taking responsibility for past actions, acknowledging mistakes, and showing a sincere desire to make positive changes.

4. How can the process of no contact help in reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant ex?

The period of no contact allows both individuals to gain clarity, heal emotional wounds, and evaluate the relationship, setting the foundation for a healthier and more conscious reconnection.

5. Why is it important to address past issues when reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant ex?

Addressing past issues is important when reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant ex as it prevents unresolved issues from resurfacing, facilitates emotional healing, and contributes to building a stronger and more resilient relationship.

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