Monica
💫 Summary
No contact can work if your ex has lost feelings as it allows for a reset and time for emotional attraction to potentially come back; it's important to show strength and be willing to walk away to make your ex see you differently; focus on reattracting them and building respect to increase the chances of getting back together.
✨ Highlights📊 Transcript
No contact can work if your ex has lost feelings because it allows for a reset and time for emotional attraction to come back.
00:00
No contact is important because giving more of the same will push them away further.
Emotional attraction takes time to come back and is usually based on learned experiences.
Reflecting on things and experiencing new things can help your ex see you differently and feel emotionally attracted to you again.
In order to have a chance of getting back together with your ex, you need to show them the best version of yourself and be willing to walk away.
02:54
You can't make your ex change their feelings, but you can give them something to contemplate and reflect on.
By showing that you can go your own way and not be permanently attracted to them, you become more attractive to them.
It's important for your ex to see you as strong enough to leave them, which flips the tables and makes them see you differently.
No contact is important to show your ex that you are strong enough to stay away and not be obsessive about getting back together.
05:49
Begging, chasing, and pleading are not effective after a certain point.
No contact is necessary to demonstrate that you can stay away and have high value.
Exes often expect you to reach out and pursue them after a breakup.
Showing your ex that you can walk away and stay away is attractive and demonstrates high value.
When attraction is significantly lower than acceptable, there is no motivation for the other person to work on the relationship.
08:44
The elements of attraction include liking what we see, experiencing enjoyment, and feeling good when we're with the person.
People may not work on the relationship because they are not motivated to do so.
To reattract your ex, there needs to be a reset and a different approach instead of asking them to work on it.
Giving your ex the opportunity to be re-attracted to you is an important step in getting back together.
11:41
Interact with them in an attractive way when they reach out to you.
Focus on attraction rather than discussing the relationship.
Respect is crucial for attraction to matter.
No contact can work if your ex realizes they made a mistake and wants you back, as it teaches them a lesson and takes away the temptation to manipulate you in the future.
14:34
When you back away, it creates the opportunity for attraction to be rebuilt.
Your ex will know that they need to take action if they want to get back together.
Teaching your ex a lesson by not chasing them down removes the temptation for them to use a breakup as manipulation in the future.
It is important for your ex to know that you can walk away, have other options, and be strong enough to stay away from them.
00:00will no contact work if your ex has lost
00:03feelings this is Coach Lee and I'm going
00:06to talk to you about that so the first
00:07thing is that after a breakup if the two
00:11people are to get back together there
00:13must be some kind of reset
00:16and that's where no contact can play a
00:18big part in that the reason is because
00:21if they have lost feelings for you then
00:24giving them more of the same does not
00:27make any sense in fact it will push them
00:29away further and so there must be some
00:32sort of realization for your ex to look
00:35at you differently to look at you as
00:37they used to and they have gotten to a
00:40point where attraction for you mostly
00:43emotional attraction but it can be
00:45physical if there have been extreme
00:47changes because we're all human we're
00:49all imperfect and we all are attracted
00:51to things about another person and many
00:54times those things are beyond our choice
00:56we don't choose to be attracted to
00:58someone who is a certain way physically
01:01in terms of how they look but usually in
01:04this case what we're talking about is
01:06emotional attraction having fallen and
01:09when emotional attraction Falls it takes
01:11time for that to come back for that to
01:14change to where they feel emotion really
01:16attracted to you again and it's usually
01:18based on learned experiences and that
01:21usually involves time passing to where
01:23they can reflect on things they can
01:25experience things and they can begin to
01:27see you as they once did or to see you
01:30differently than they do now so if you
01:32give them now if you give them where
01:36they see you in the moment then you're
01:38only giving them what pushed them away
01:40to begin with and so that's why people
01:42become so frustrated and they talk to
01:44one of the coaches on my staff and
01:46they'll say I don't understand I'm doing
01:48all these loving things I'm making these
01:51grand gestures of love and affection and
01:54kindness and the other person is
01:57becoming colder they're responding
01:59negatively they're being cruel or they
02:01don't even respond at all it makes no
02:03sense and people say if this person were
02:06a better person they would want to work
02:08on it I don't understand why after we've
02:10been together all this time they don't
02:11even want to work on it and I'm doing
02:13these things and they are acting as
02:15though my AI efforts and even me as a
02:19person doesn't do anything for them and
02:22that's because in that moment it doesn't
02:24it takes time to where that's the case
02:26but in the moment you have to realize a
02:29reset has to happen in order for you to
02:32have a good chance of getting them back
02:33now as I say in almost every video does
02:36no contact work every single time no it
02:39doesn't and I don't know anyone who
02:41claims that except for Sensational
02:43titles to drive clicks when they
02:46actually tell you that no it doesn't
02:47work every time but it does not work in
02:50every situation but it works a lot it
02:52works every day and for people who say
02:54exes don't get back together if they
02:57took a moment and thought about that
02:58they would think of people who broke up
03:00and got back together it happens all the
03:02time and it can happen for you and you
03:05will have the best chance of that
03:06happening by understanding how some of
03:08these things work so how do you get this
03:11reset how can you make this person see
03:13you as they once did or to see you
03:16differently than they do now at least
03:18first of all you can't make them but you
03:20can certainly give them the best version
03:23of you the changed version of you and
03:25something to have to contemplate not
03:27just to flippantly think about but to
03:30actually have to reflect on and to
03:33impact change within them and that
03:35brings me to the great conundrum of
03:37breakups you have to be willing to walk
03:41away
03:42you have to be willing to do what
03:44they're doing they have said I don't
03:45want to be with you anymore I'm breaking
03:47us into two we were one because we
03:51became one in this relationship and I'm
03:53breaking it back into two where we are
03:55two separate people going our own way
03:58you have to show that you can go your
04:01own way because if they think that they
04:04can break up with you and do whatever
04:06and at any moment at any time if they
04:08change their minds or even just wanted
04:10you for a day or two they could just get
04:12you back not a problem because you are
04:15just permanently attracted to them then
04:17that's not attractive it's not something
04:20that they will be pulled to especially
04:23when you consider that it is the
04:26situation now that they are not
04:28attracted to you in the way that they
04:30were and so there is nothing to pull
04:32them in this moment that's why there has
04:34to be a reset and that's why you have to
04:36be willing to walk away they have to see
04:39you as strong enough to be able to leave
04:41them and this really flips the tables
04:44because your ex is the one who walked
04:46away from you
04:47and so you are seen as the person
04:49standing there hoping to get the
04:51relationship back hoping to get them
04:53back but if they see you as the one
04:55having walked away that's when things
04:57can really change and they can actually
04:59have to really look at the situation in
05:02reality that they cannot get you back
05:04whenever they want you that you are not
05:06a permanent option for them that's very
05:09important you're not a backup plan if
05:11they can't find someone better or when
05:14they've had their fun and they've gotten
05:15to experience so-called Freedom now it's
05:18very important that you understand what
05:19walking away is because it's not posting
05:22pictures of yourself on social media
05:23with someone else who's a potential
05:25romantic partner it's not telling all
05:28your friends that you've moved on in
05:30order to try to get that message to your
05:32ex and it's not telling your ex I'm
05:34moving on I'm not a permanent option so
05:36it's not giving away your strategy to
05:39your ex and yes this is strategy is it
05:41manipulation not really it's simply
05:44bowing out gracefully instead of making
05:47your yourself look less attractive and
05:49going beneath your own dignity by
05:52begging chasing pleading and being a
05:54permanent option it doesn't mean that
05:56when they break up with you that you
05:58don't tell them I want to be with you I
06:00want to work on this I'm willing to I
06:02think we're great together so I disagree
06:04with the breakup those things are good
06:07you should tell them that I'm not saying
06:09that you shouldn't but there comes a
06:11point after you've done that when it has
06:13not impacted them that you need to show
06:16them you are strong enough not only to
06:17stay away and that's where no contact
06:19comes in showing them you can stay away
06:21is important because a lot of the times
06:23people will say why are they blocking me
06:25I haven't even done anything they
06:26blocked me after they broke up with me
06:28well a lot of the time that's because
06:30they think you will reach out to them
06:32you will pester them and Bug them and
06:34act obsessive over getting back together
06:36with them and it's really pretty
06:38arrogant when you think about it there
06:39are some arrogant egotistical people out
06:42there who think that other people just
06:44want them 24 7 that they are just wanted
06:46and so super or sexy that people can't
06:49take their eyes off of them and would do
06:51anything to get with them and in the
06:53high of the breakup where your ex has
06:55been the one to dismiss you your ex will
06:57probably think that about you in fact
07:00most people report that when they break
07:03up with someone they expect them to
07:06reach out they expect them to pursue and
07:09to continue to do so because the
07:12experience of dismissing them by
07:13breaking up with them makes this other
07:15person think they are so far above them
07:17that yes of course they would want to be
07:19with them they would keep fighting
07:20because it's such an opportunity because
07:22they are so dang attractive so you can't
07:26give them that you have to show them
07:27that you are of high value that you are
07:31attractive and when people are high
07:34value and attractive they can stay away
07:36and they can actually walk away and so
07:39your ex has to at least see that as
07:42something you can do so I'm not saying
07:44that you walk away and make posts about
07:46it that that's cheesy and will not
07:49impact your ex it will do the opposite
07:51because it will look like you're trying
07:52to impact your ex so don't do that no
07:55contact will cause enough preoccupation
07:57to where your ex is wondering about you
07:59not hearing from you so you're showing
08:01them you're not pursuing you're showing
08:02them that you can walk away and that's
08:04what we want your ex to see so that's a
08:06strength of no contact take a quick
08:08second and get more information on my
08:10emergency breakup kit there's a link in
08:12the description below or you can go to
08:15myexbackcoach.com for information on my
08:17emergency breakup kit number three
08:19attraction is the front door attraction
08:23is not the be all and end-all of a
08:25relationship but it is the front door it
08:28is what gets us into the potential with
08:32this other person we have to like what
08:34we see and we have to like what we
08:37experience with them so those are
08:40physical attraction and emotional
08:42attraction and those have to be there at
08:44least to an acceptable level and so when
08:47a brain breakup happens it's because an
08:50extended period of time has passed where
08:52attraction has been significantly lower
08:55than is acceptable for this person
08:57because we want to be attracted to the
08:58person we are with we want to like what
09:00we see like what we experience enjoy
09:03what we feel when we're with them those
09:06are the elements of Attraction and if
09:08they are not there then there is no
09:10motivation for the other person to be in
09:12the relationship or to work on the
09:14relationship so that's why you can't
09:17start with asking the other person to
09:19work on it and that's why so many people
09:20are baffled I ask them to work on it why
09:22won't they work on it why would they
09:24throw away eight months why would they
09:26throw away two years ten years why would
09:28they throw away a marriage why would
09:30they throw away this relationship
09:31instead of giving it a chance instead of
09:33working on it because they're not
09:35motivated to it's sort of like if I told
09:38you I would pay you 50 cents an hour to
09:41do my gardening well if the money's not
09:44enough and it's not enough to motivate
09:46you to want to do that and you don't
09:47like gardening then you don't want to
09:49work on it because there's no motivation
09:51and that's where your ex is
09:53unfortunately and don't take that too
09:56bad because attraction will go up and
09:58down and we're going to work on getting
10:00it to go back up you and me I'm telling
10:03you how to do that in this video just
10:05stay with me so if you don't approach it
10:07as let's work on this after you've
10:10already told them that you're willing to
10:11that you think the relationship is great
10:14and you want the relationship instead of
10:16the breakup if then you shift you've
10:19learned there needs to be a reset and
10:21you're going to take that path in terms
10:23of attempting to reattract your ex and
10:25get back together with them so you're
10:27not going to be pestering them begging
10:29pleading asking them to give you another
10:31chance or to work on it but what you're
10:33going to do is you're going to show them
10:35strength that you can stay away that you
10:37cannot contact them that way their ego
10:40does not continue to go up and they
10:42don't continue to try try to get away
10:43from you because if you won't let them
10:45go they will keep wanting to go you
10:48won't let them be gone they will keep
10:50wanting to be gone
10:51if you won't let them Escape they will
10:54feel trapped and if they feel trapped
10:57they cannot feel attracted to you so
11:00they have to feel free it's difficult to
11:02do I understand that but find the will
11:05because if you want your ex back you
11:08have to do that you have to give them
11:11the breakup and show them that you can
11:13stay away not only is this attractive
11:16but it also allows them to look at the
11:18situation for what it is that they could
11:21lose you because before they didn't
11:22think that they thought they could get
11:24you back if they wanted you back and
11:25that they were the ones dismissing you
11:27but if they have to actually look at the
11:29relationship now you have a chance
11:31because instead of them feeling like
11:34you're pressuring them to stay this is
11:36coming from within them it is back into
11:38the realm of decision making so they
11:41made a decision to break up with you but
11:42now it's as though they have gone back
11:44to that so that's very important it's a
11:46big step it's not where you want it to
11:48be yet because you're not back together
11:50with them but it is a step and it's an
11:52important step and now when they're
11:55looking at the situation and trying to
11:56make a decision again
11:58this is when you have the opportunity to
12:01be attractive because a lot of times
12:02they will reach out to you this is where
12:04you can interact with them and you can
12:05show that strength because you're not
12:07going to beg or plead you're not going
12:09to get emotional or want to talk about
12:11the relationship but you get to do what
12:14you did when you two first started
12:16dating recording whatever you want to
12:18call it you got to be attractive by
12:21interacting with them and this is a case
12:24of where they have reached out to you
12:25that's the goal that's the ideal and
12:28once that's happened you get to retract
12:30them and again don't focus on we should
12:33work this out or let's try or let's talk
12:35about the relationship you need to focus
12:37on attraction if you focus on that the
12:39rest will take care of itself in this
12:41early stage of getting back together and
12:43so that's very important I talk about
12:45that a lot in my emergency breakup kit
12:47including talking about temperaments how
12:49different people have different
12:50temperaments and they respond to
12:52breakups and getting back together
12:53differently than people with other types
12:56of temperaments and that's in the
12:57emergency breakup kit but the bottom
12:59line here is that if you give them the
13:02opportunity to be reattracted to you you
13:05have a fighting chance and that brings
13:07me to number four it comes down to
13:09respect and this is different when we're
13:12talking about typical male to female
13:15respect and female to male respect and
13:17I'm a pretty traditional guy and so
13:19that's the angle I'm going to approach
13:21that from is that respect is something
13:24that has to be there in order for
13:26attraction to matter a person can be
13:29attracted to you like you want to be
13:31around you but if they don't respect you
13:33then they are likely not going to make
13:35the effort to try to get back together
13:37with you or to even get together with
13:39you at all they will sit back
13:42now some people do that a lot to begin
13:44with especially women a lot of times
13:46will expect a man to make the first move
13:48because that's leadership that's
13:49masculine and that's fine but men when a
13:52woman respects you she is more willing
13:54to help you out with that to give you
13:56Clues and to make some moves on her own
13:58and when we're talking about men
14:00respecting women we're talking about
14:02after a breakup in this situation that's
14:05where when he understands that you will
14:07not chase him and when she understands
14:09that about you guys after a breakup if
14:11the other person understands you won't
14:13chase that you have already said you'll
14:15work on it but now you are being a
14:18mature adult and you're giving them the
14:19breakup if that's what they say that
14:21they want you're not going to force
14:22yourself to stay in their life once they
14:25realize that that's respect that is
14:27needed as well because they realize it
14:29is going to take some effort on their
14:31part when you stop making the effort
14:34because your ex has broken things off
14:38it's their decision and when you stop
14:40taking it upon yourself to fix what they
14:42broke unless they don't have any common
14:44sense they understand they will have to
14:47do some things so that's something I
14:49want to take off of your mind is that if
14:51you back away if attraction can be built
14:55back to some degree and there is respect
14:57your ex will know they need to do some
15:00things because a lot of times people
15:01want to know well I think that they want
15:03to get back together with me and they
15:04don't know what to do and they're just
15:06not going to do anything if they want to
15:09get back together with you and they
15:10think they have made the mistake unless
15:12they are some kind of sociopath they
15:14know the ball is in their court if they
15:17made the mistake of breaking up with you
15:18and now they want you back they know it
15:21is in their realm to do something about
15:24it and if they think that when they make
15:27a mistake and dismiss you that you
15:28should be the one running back and
15:30trying to fix it you don't want to be
15:32with them anyway and that's where number
15:34five comes in when you can teach your ex
15:37a lesson and that sounds really arrogant
15:41but I don't mean it that way I'm just
15:43saying when your ex learns that you
15:45won't chase them down it takes away the
15:47temptation to use breakup as a
15:48manipulation against you in the future
15:50so if you two do get back together and
15:52things aren't going well they won't have
15:54the temptation to break up with you just
15:56so you'll chase them down and they can
15:57get that ego stroke they learn something
15:59about you and it's a permanent lesson
16:02usually where they can know that you
16:05will be able to walk away to function to
16:08have other options to have a life
16:10without them and to be strong enough to
16:11stay away from them that's important for
16:13them to know because if they think you
16:15can't they're going to start feeling
16:16more attractive than you and when that's
16:19out of balance that can lead to a
16:21breakup so if the breakup happened your
16:23ex lost feelings this is not a unique
16:26situation when a breakup happens the
16:28person who did The Dumping lost feelings
16:30and yes there may be other circumstances
16:33that contributed to it but if they had
16:35enough attraction towards you if their
16:38feelings were strong long enough they
16:39would have done whatever it took to
16:41overcome that so don't let that play
16:44around in your mind that you've got some
16:46sort of unique situation but that they
16:48really want to be with you really badly
16:49and they just can't that's almost never
16:51the case if they are attracted to you
16:53enough if they are motivated enough they
16:55will do what it takes and so your job is
16:59to show them you won't be the one to fix
17:01what they broke and that's how no
17:03contact can work if your ex has lost
17:06feelings in the video I suggest you
17:08watching after this one is called this
17:10happens when you don't contact your ex
17:12and that's going to be in the end screen
17:14here on YouTube and you can click on it
17:15and you can watch because you need to
17:17know the things that can happen when you
17:20go into no contact so you can see if
17:22progress is being made and that's here
17:24in the end screen on YouTube so you can
17:25click that and you can watch that video
17:27this has been Coach Lee and as always
17:29thank you for watching
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FAQs about This YouTube Video

1. What can be done if my ex has lost feelings?

If your ex has lost feelings, it allows for a reset and time for emotional attraction to potentially come back. It's important to show strength and be willing to walk away to make your ex see you differently.

2. How to make my ex see me differently after losing feelings?

To make your ex see you differently after losing feelings, focus on reattracting them and building respect to increase the chances of getting back together. Show strength and independence to create a new impression.

3. Is it possible to reattract an ex who has lost feelings?

Yes, it is possible to reattract an ex who has lost feelings. Give them space and time to process, while focusing on building respect and showing strength. This can create an opportunity for emotional attraction to come back.

4. Why is it important to show strength when an ex has lost feelings?

Showing strength when an ex has lost feelings is important as it changes the way they perceive you. It can make them see you in a new light and may open the door for reattracting them. Being willing to walk away can create a powerful shift in dynamics.

5. What strategies can help in reattracting an ex with lost feelings?

Strategies to reattract an ex with lost feelings include focusing on personal growth, building respect, and creating positive interactions. Show strength, independence, and a willingness to walk away if necessary. This can potentially rekindle emotional attraction.

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