💫 Summary
During no contact, the dismissive avoidant goes through a phase of relief and happiness, followed by potential re-engagement after a couple of months. They may reach out or display interest, but it's important to be mentally prepared and patient when considering reconnecting with them.
✨ Highlights📊 Transcript
The video discusses what goes through the dismissive avoidant's mind during no contact.
The presenter suggests calling it the "self-discovery rule" instead of the "no contact rule."
The presenter expresses gratitude for reaching 1k subscribers and thanks the viewers for their support.
The presenter plans to respond to an email requesting advice via video instead of email.
The person is heartbroken after the breakup and is struggling with the ex wanting to remain friends.
The person initially begged and pleaded after the breakup but then stopped communicating with the ex.
The ex has started talking to somebody else, which hurts the person.
The person wonders whether to re-establish an emotional connection or completely cut off contact.
The ex's behavior may indicate a dismissive avoidant attachment style.
During the no contact phase, the dismissive avoidant will initially feel relief and happiness to be out of the relationship.
It will be difficult for them to miss you while they are in a new relationship.
They may try to bury their feelings and focus on other activities.
They might reach out to you or engage with your social media posts.
During the no contact period, dismissive avoidants may either try to break away from you or maintain a connection without being completely gone from your life.
They might offer friendship if you were a good friend but not a romantic candidate.
Dismissive avoidants tend to fade away and you won't hear from them after the first month, but around the two-month mark, they may start feeling the breakup and regret it.
The no contact rule allows you to gain clarity and decide whether you want to re-engage with the dismissive avoidant.
If you broke up with the dismissive avoidant, they are likely thinking about you, wondering what you're up to, and going through stages of grief.
Dismissive avoidants may be open to re-engaging after a breakup, but it requires patience and mental readiness.
Dismissive avoidants may appear emotionally unavailable and unfeeling, but they do have feelings and care deeply about people.
It is possible to have a healthy relationship with a dismissive avoidant if you can maintain your sanity and mental health.
The heart wants what it wants, so if there is a chance to have this person back without compromising your well-being, it is worth pursuing.
00:00hey what's going on youtube this is your  certified life and relationship coach coach court  
00:05and in today's video i want to talk to you about  what goes through the dismissive avoidant's mind  
00:10doing no contact thank you for sticking  around if this is your first time viewing me  
00:20do me a favor and subscribe to the channel  by clicking that subscribe button and ringing  
00:24that little bell so you're notified for the  newest content before i get into the content  
00:28if you want my help personally reach out  to me on my website at www.fruitfulseedz  
00:33with a z at the end .com and leave me an email no  longer than two to three paragraphs long no longer  
00:38than 500 words as it makes it really difficult to  respond to long emails in today's video i want to  
00:43talk to you about the dismissive avoidant and  what goes through their mind during no contact  
00:48and when you're implementing a no contact rule  i think um you shouldn't call it the no contact  
00:55rule if i'm being personally honest i really think  that no contact is kind of it sounds like somebody  
01:01is manipulating and i think you should call it  the self-discovery rule because you should be  
01:07discovering yourself when you're not communicating  with that person you should be working on yourself  
01:13creating a healthier mindset for  yourself a healthier state of being  
01:18i also want to thank you guys for the  threshold that i just reached i reached 1k  
01:23subscribers which is crazy i didn't think  i'd be able to get there so quickly and  
01:28you know it just says a lot about this community  uh what we're building and i really do appreciate  
01:34you guys sharing the videos liking and helping me  progress my channel i want to read one of my um  
01:41emails from somebody who can't afford a session  but they want some advice and i'm going to go  
01:46ahead and do that right now uh this is anonymous  so i want to make sure that that's said up front  
01:53and you know instead of me responding to the  email via email i'm going to respond via video  
02:01hi really need your help my two year relationship  ended when my ex-boyfriend broke up with me three  
02:07months ago i really loved him and believed  that we had a pure and real relationship  
02:14the reason for our breakup was that he believed  we were incompatible and couldn't be happy with  
02:19each other long term that led to him losing his  feelings for me i however have faith that we can  
02:28be happy with each other i was heartbroken begged  and pleaded a little initially and then slowly  
02:34stopped communicating with him i developed my  thinking matured up and began focusing on myself  
02:40now after this email she also disclosed that  she had discovered that he had started talking  
02:49to somebody one of their mutual friends and had  started posting on social media with this person  
02:56uh so back to the email i have now  tried to cut contact from both of them  
03:01the strange part is my ex still wants  to be in his life as his best friend  
03:06he isn't able to understand how  complicated this is for me i still love him  
03:11and this situation really hurts what should i do  re-establish an emotional connection with him or  
03:18completely cut off and see whether he even cares  to miss me it's dating another friend who became  
03:25their confidant after our breakup still classified  as a rebound what can be done now please help  
03:32i would say do what sits right with  your soul i don't believe that um  
03:40this relationship uh started right after  your breakup i think this could have been  
03:44something that crossed over into your  relationship which is the reason that he  
03:50uh ended up being with this  person almost immediately after  
03:54you guys broke up now she believes that he may  be a dismissive avoidant and that could be true  
04:02but um you know usually dismissives are kind  of private and they don't like to share their  
04:09relationship status with people and they don't  like to get people into their business the  
04:14fact that he was so open to do that feels  like there was something else going on and  
04:19he could have just not been  into the relationship anymore  
04:24this is all speculation this is all uh based off  the the little bit of email exchanges we've had  
04:31um and she went on to ask you know uh does  him being an avoidant have anything to do  
04:39with the rebound relationship and how  do i get him to miss me and our bond  
04:45so um first up he can't get him to miss you while  he's still in this relationship that's going to be  
04:52something really difficult to do because right  now he's probably in the honeymoon phase and  
04:57it's really hard for people to see clearly when  they're in the beginning of the relationship the  
05:02phase where nothing their partner does is flawed  or uh they can't see the red flags so what should  
05:12you do i would distance myself from both of  them don't check their social media don't check  
05:18uh anything that has anything to do with  them because it's just gonna make you  
05:24hurt more and it's going to delay your healing  process you have to heal from this breakup  
05:28in order to move on as far as what the dismissive  avoidant is feeling doing no contact the first  
05:36phase they're going to be feeling is the is  the relief phase they're going to be happy  
05:40to be out of the relationship they're going to be  happy not to have to show up as a certain person  
05:46with certain expectations put upon them they're  going to really try to bury those feelings  
05:53in the beginning and that's going to be for  about the first month they're going to most  
05:57likely be posting things that they're doing in the  community or doing with other people and they're  
06:01going to be excited to um not have the drama and  the stress that comes along with the relationship  
06:09you may see them reaching out to you or orbiting  your social media they might be liking posts they  
06:16maybe even send you a message just kind of like  a real light toned uh hey just checking in on  
06:23you message but that doesn't mean that they  want to get back with you that doesn't mean  
06:28that no contact is actually working it could  be them just trying to either break from you  
06:34or just not be completely gone out of your life  because what i've learned is like when people  
06:42break up with you they will most  likely try to offer you the friend zone  
06:47especially if he wasn't a bad person if you were  somebody who actually turned out to be a really  
06:52good friend but just not a romantic candidate  then they will probably offer you that up front  
06:58as far as the dismissive more specifically though  most likely they'll just fade to black and you  
07:03won't hear from them after that first month though  you know maybe around almost a two month mark  
07:08that's when the dismissive avoidance is going to  really start to fill things they're going to start  
07:12feeling the breakup uh i've coached clients  and they told me that that's the time where  
07:16they start to like get emotional they start to  regret the breakup they start to feel silly for  
07:22even thinking about reaching out to you because  most likely they think that you may have moved on  
07:28here's the beautiful thing about the  no contact rule though at that point  
07:32if you're the person that was broken up with by  the dismissive this should be the point where you  
07:39are starting to see with a little bit more clarity  your anxious side is starting to subside and you  
07:46uh are able to think with much more clarity and  make the choice of whether or not you want to even  
07:54entertain or re-engage with the dismissive if  you're the one that broke up with them though  
07:59i would say that they are uh probably thinking  about you probably wondering what you're up to  
08:06wondering uh if you know the breakup was something  that was real during the stages of grief you know  
08:13you have the the bargaining stage the the  denial stage and they probably are in that  
08:19that denial stage and then that sad stage around  that two-month mark so i would say that is when  
08:25they're the most uh i wouldn't say vulnerable but  the most uh open and willing to re-engage with  
08:33you again and want to uh even have you in their  life going through a breakup isn't fun having to  
08:41break someone's heart and having your heart  broken is not something that either one of the  
08:46the people want to have to deal with so if  there is a potential of things being able to be  
08:55kind of repaired or reconciled i'm pretty sure  that this is the time where you want to make  
09:01your move but i do not recommend you doing  this if you are not in the place mentally to  
09:11be able to be more patient because you're  going to re-engage but you're going to  
09:14still have to be patient with them and have to  wait for the turtle to come out of the shell  
09:20because the dismissive avoidant  comes off as a person who is  
09:24emotionally unavailable cold and kind of  unfeeling but they do have feelings they do  
09:30care about people and the people that they do  care about they care deeply about them and they  
09:35have uh use your friend for life if you're able  to maintain uh a healthy relationship with them  
09:43now i know that a lot of coaches are gonna  tell you you know walk away and never look back  
09:48but listen the heart wants what the heart  wants and if there is a chance that you can  
09:55have this person back without losing your  sense of sanity and you know your mental  
10:01health being jeopardized you know i'm all for  that i'm all for going after what you want  
10:07so if you found this video of any value please  like comment and share follow me on my other  
10:13social media accounts twitter is coachcourt2  instagram is iamcoachcourt and facebook is  
10:18iamcoachcourt thank you guys especially  for the 1k and i will talk to you soon
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FAQs about This YouTube Video

1. How does the dismissive avoidant behave during the no contact phase?

During the no contact phase, the dismissive avoidant may go through a phase of relief and happiness as they value their independence and space. They may use this time to focus on their own pursuits and interests.

2. What happens after a couple of months of no contact with the dismissive avoidant?

After a couple of months of no contact, the dismissive avoidant may potentially display interest or reach out for re-engagement. This could be a sign of their readiness to reconnect, but patience and mental preparation are essential before considering reconnecting with them.

3. How should one mentally prepare for reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant after no contact?

Mentally preparing for reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant involves managing expectations, understanding their need for space and independence, and being patient with their potential re-engagement. It's important to prioritize self-care and emotional resilience during this process.

4. What is the significance of being patient when considering reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant after no contact?

Patience is crucial when considering reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant after no contact as it allows both parties the time to assess their emotions, intentions, and readiness for a renewed connection. Rushing the process may lead to miscommunication and misunderstanding.

5. How can one effectively manage expectations when reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant after no contact?

Effectively managing expectations involves being realistic about the potential outcomes of reconnecting with a dismissive avoidant after no contact. It's important to prioritize personal growth, open communication, and understanding their unique attachment style to navigate the reconnection process successfully.

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