Monica
💫 Summary
The video discusses the experiences of a former porn star and the negative effects of the porn industry, including the dehumanization of individuals and the exploitation of personal information. It also explores the societal impact of widespread porn consumption and the need for greater awareness about its harmful effects.
✨ Highlights📊 Transcript
The speaker discusses his experience in the porn industry and how he got involved and eventually left.
00:00
He mentions that he did a thousand films over a six-year period.
To work in the industry, he had to have a current STD and AIDS test.
He talks about how he got into the industry by putting himself in closer proximity to it and getting an agent.
The speaker discusses the lack of intimacy in the porn industry and the impact it has on relationships.
15:13
In the industry, the focus is on taking photos with the girls and having sex with them.
The only information known about the girls is their legal name and their current STD and AIDS test.
Both men and women in the industry use erectile dysfunction medication and numbing cream.
Dating within the industry is common, but it can be detrimental to one's mental health.
The video discusses the ownership of a company that captures and sells user information from porn sites, and highlights the massive revenue and influence of the porn industry.
30:26
The company in question captures user information from porn sites and sells it to Facebook and Google.
Advertisements on Facebook related to porn are not accidental, but rather a result of the captured information being sold.
The porn industry is a hundred billion dollar industry, surpassing the combined revenue of the NFL, Major League Baseball, and the NBA.
Approximately 30 to 35 percent of all data transferred on the internet on a daily basis is related to pornography.
The speaker reflects on the impact of hearing her real name and feeling guilt and regret for not letting her mom know she was okay.
45:40
The speaker had created a plausible reality based on lies, guilt, and shame.
Hearing her real name challenged her created reality and made her feel the pain she was numb to.
She ran home and called her mom, who had been asking her to come home for years.
She quit the industry and decided to go back home.
The speaker shares a story about asking a girl out, revealing his past in the adult film industry, and confessing other wrongdoings to her.
01:00:54
The speaker asks a girl out on a date, but she declines.
He agrees to go on a run with her instead.
While waiting for her, he feels guilty about his past and decides to confess his involvement in the adult film industry.
The girl is shocked by his revelation and other confessions.
The speaker discusses the perception of sex as a sin and how it affects relationships.
01:16:08
The New York Health Department supports the idea that sex is healthy.
Norm McDonald jokes about sex being a filthy and shameful act.
The speaker argues that engaging in excessive pornography affects one's ability to have self-control and be a good lover.
The speaker references Romans 12:1-2 to emphasize the need for transformation and aligning with God's will.
The section discusses the issue of non-consensual pornography and the challenges in removing explicit content from the internet.
01:31:24
A person uploads a video of a sexual assault on PornHub, which becomes popular and monetized.
The video is eventually taken down, but the images still exist on Google.
Google claims there is no clarity regarding consent or objectification, so they leave the imagery up.
The discussion highlights the problem of widespread consumption of explicit content and its impact on individuals and society.
The speaker discusses the lack of parental consent in medical procedures for trans kids and expresses sadness about children being influenced by external sources.
01:46:37
The speaker criticizes the Associated Press for being a left-wing news outlet.
They question how adults are allowing kids to make life-changing decisions at a young age.
The speaker attributes this situation to the influence of external sources and organizations.
They mention their own personal journey and reliance on their relationship with God.
00:00you know I did a thousand films over
00:02about a six year period you had to have
00:04a current
00:06um like full panel like STD and AIDS
00:08test you would look is the test clear
00:10great and that's what I would know about
00:13the girl until I walked into the room
00:14and had sex with her
00:16[Music]
00:21when I was a teenage boy I thought there
00:24were certain jobs that were probably a
00:26lot of fun being an astronaut was
00:28probably one of them being I don't know
00:30a competitive Surfer that seemed kind of
00:33cool and of course every teenage boy
00:35thinks man what would it be like to be a
00:37porn star that's got to be kind of crazy
00:39huh boy wouldn't that be a great job
00:42uh that was not my calling I probably
00:45didn't you know I don't I'm not like the
00:47most muscular guy in the world probably
00:48wasn't wasn't going to happen and
00:49probably I think in retrospect that's a
00:52good thing I am joined today however by
00:55someone who did become a porn star and
00:57who became the top porn star in the
01:00world won the award whatever the award
01:02is for top porn star he won it that
01:04would be Joshua Broome turned out the
01:07job was not all teenage boys might think
01:09it would be cracked up to be Joshua
01:11thank you for coming on the show glad to
01:12be here so
01:15I'm pleased to say
01:17for all my sins I'm not familiar with
01:19your work okay and but I was talking to
01:21some people who are familiar with your
01:23work okay and you were not just a guy
01:26who
01:28did a porn movie or two right
01:31you were a big guy in this industry yeah
01:34you made it to the top of the industry
01:37yeah
01:38one how the hell do you get involved in
01:41that kind of thing and then how'd you
01:42get out yeah so uh from a big picture
01:46standpoint I got in the industry by
01:49thinking you know okay someone who is in
01:52the acting and modeling industry if I
01:54put myself in closer proximity to the
01:56industry that I wanted to be in it would
01:58make sense it would make you know me
02:00getting jobs easier so I did that and it
02:02worked I got an agent so I was
02:04predominantly doing some Runway along
02:07with some print and then commercials and
02:09stuff like that having this aspiring
02:11actor not acting very much but I had a
02:14real had an agent had a lot of
02:16aspirations which is more than most
02:19actors yeah yeah I was doing it and yeah
02:22auditioning yeah yeah 100 I was doing
02:23well like there was there was no reason
02:25to make the decision that I made because
02:27a lot of people would say you know I
02:29needed money I needed to do this or
02:31there was some kind of trauma you know
02:33that there was nothing pointing me to
02:36that direction yet I found myself there
02:38But to answer your question I move out
02:40to Hollywood like many other people
02:43you're pursuing your dream but you need
02:45to do something to mediate your expenses
02:47so I found myself working at a
02:48restaurant and in that restaurant three
02:50girls sat down there were these
02:52beautiful girls and I go over to them
02:54and I thought you know maybe I'll get
02:55their number or a good tip or whatever
02:57and they invite me to meet with their
03:01agent and they ask me if I want to be an
03:04actor and I'm like yes you know this is
03:05a great opportunity for me maybe they're
03:07working on a project or maybe they know
03:09a casting director or something that
03:10like that but they're like no no we're
03:13talking about pornography and I was like
03:15I never considered it but I was very
03:18intrigued and being someone
03:21um you know I didn't have a reason to
03:22say no so I said sure I'll meet with
03:26your agent and I meet with this agent
03:28and he was like
03:30um he asked me three questions he asked
03:31me uh what did my upbringing look like
03:34you know how did I grow up uh what was I
03:37doing in LA and what did I hope to
03:39accomplish and I was like well I grew up
03:41you know pretty much just me and my mom
03:43and I want to be an actor so that's why
03:47that's why I'm here and I guess what I
03:49want to accomplish is uh to be famous
03:52and he was like perfect uh you know I
03:54can make your name famous yeah you'll
03:56make you know x amount of dollars and
03:59then it actually is advantageous for you
04:01that you have this acting background
04:03because the pornography industry is is
04:05shifting from just making these like
04:08one-off scenes where they're parodying
04:10movies in their scripts and and all the
04:12stuff so you if you have acting
04:14experience and you can bring that into
04:16that it'll be great there'll be you know
04:18a great runway for you to have all the
04:20things that you said you wanted so being
04:22someone who's naive and didn't really
04:24have a good foundation to say no I was
04:29like well how how big of a deal could it
04:31be if I do one right and then that one
04:34uh it you know for a lack of better
04:37terms you know even it was like 2006
04:40went viral so like 500 000 views back
04:44then massive and uh very quickly I have
04:48an agent that I beg to represent me
04:51calling me saying that they can't
04:52represent me anymore because they don't
04:54want to be associated with my likeness
04:56so you're a legit acting age right says
04:59I'm dumb so you you sign up with the
05:01porn agency you do the scene
05:04in order to help your mainstream acting
05:06career and then as a result of that you
05:08become so famous that your mainstream
05:10agent dumps you yeah I'm gonna go back
05:11to that yeah it was three questions sure
05:14sure I asked you so I get the latter two
05:17questions yeah what are you doing here
05:19what do you want to accomplish where do
05:20you see yourself
05:22what about that first question why did
05:24he ask you that first question about
05:26your childhood and
05:29how did you give him the the answer that
05:32he was looking for yeah I mean I I think
05:34in a in in retrospect it was how can I
05:37manipulate you
05:39you know so for me saying okay I'm from
05:42a broken home yeah you didn't have a
05:44father you probably didn't have
05:45leadership you probably are looking to
05:47prove something or looking to find
05:49something I can take that want in that
05:52desire and if I if I tell them something
05:54that's affirming which is an innate
05:57desire that you know exists in each and
05:59every person like you want to be
06:00affirmed you want to feel loved you want
06:03to feel like you matter and those are
06:05good things but if they're manipulated
06:07they'll lead you down a path that you
06:09never intended to go
06:11how common is that in in porn is it just
06:14across the board everybody comes across
06:15the board because at the end of the day
06:17when you lay your head down on a pillow
06:19it doesn't matter how much money is in
06:21your bank account like no one wants to
06:23be a prostitute right like no one
06:25desires that no one is regardless of
06:28what you say like if someone's addicted
06:30to pornography and you know they believe
06:33the lie to be true is that you know it's
06:36this will be fun this will be this this
06:38will be that if you believe that to be a
06:41real reality like sure might someone
06:44might say I want to do this yeah but no
06:46one seeks out that yeah
06:48but people do seek out Fame sure and
06:51they do and what's really interesting
06:53about your story is often you will hear
06:57female porn stars yeah later on say I
07:01was abused this was terrible of course
07:03of course that's the case men and women
07:05are different and women are abused it
07:08would seem much more by the industry
07:10you don't hear it as much from the men
07:12and you think well men we can kind of
07:14divorce sex from our emotional life and
07:17oh man you know we just get the fun part
07:19of everything and yeah but
07:22porn wrecked you too yeah 100 I would
07:26say uh it wrecks everyone because if if
07:29you operate in a way that's
07:31contradictory to the way that you were
07:33wired to operate
07:36the the byproduct of that is there's
07:38going to be significant trauma mentally
07:41and emotionally and regardless of if you
07:44choose to suppress that and what that
07:46might look like in in your life
07:48practically that's probably gonna be
07:49different from person to person but you
07:51don't live that life and go and be
07:54healthy unless you deal with that so you
07:57you agree to do the scene yeah it goes
08:01viral it goes viral and then my aging is
08:05like well my agent calls me they had
08:07come to know that that happened and then
08:10a few weeks later something probably
08:12even worse for me
08:13my mom calls me and she's like well your
08:17uncle said that someone at work told him
08:20that yeah I had done a a porn movie oh
08:23and I I was humiliated oh and for me
08:27personally like my mom had me when she
08:29was 16 and uh she made significant
08:33sacrifices for the things that we had
08:34and when I started pursuing modeling and
08:36acting that started at 13 so getting
08:39comp cards getting head shots you know
08:41do like I I didn't talk the way that I
08:44talked now it's like I was very like I
08:46grew up in a really small town in South
08:48Carolina like I couldn't I said like
08:50they made up words that my grandma would
08:52say like Mater and tater like
08:55um super Country Bumpkin so I did all
08:58these things that my mom really couldn't
09:00afford but she made a way because she
09:02wanted me to have a better life than she
09:03did and it was something I was
09:05passionate about and she did everything
09:06that she could to provide for me and yet
09:09I found myself squandering those things
09:11the the equity that we gained along the
09:14way
09:16um I it just kind of
09:18blew up so you have this phone call with
09:20your mother yeah is it a sort of I'm
09:23never speaking to you again or is it a
09:24yeah so you're doing this job so if our
09:27mom my mom even Keel all the way
09:30um she's like Joshua Luke so growing up
09:32in the South like Joshua like you know
09:34you're okay Joshua Luke uh you know you
09:37you better heighten your awareness
09:38Joshua Luke Broome you run you know so
09:41she was just like Joshua Luke broom like
09:43why would you do that it's like I love
09:45you but you are better than that
09:48and I think that's something that you
09:50have to wrestle with in your life but
09:52you know in some aspects someone you'll
09:54you'll make a decision that leaves you
09:56at a Crossroads and someone uh in your
09:59life hopefully is going to say uh here's
10:03a better way if you've compromised or
10:05you've done something that you shouldn't
10:06have done uh that you messed up and now
10:09you're at a fork in a road and you
10:12you're having this conversation with
10:13someone it's like okay this is what you
10:16should do but it's going to require
10:18change it's going to require hard work
10:20and it's so much easier to not do the
10:24hard work change directions do do
10:26whatever needs to be done to you know
10:29change change the direction that you're
10:30going so I chose to you know push her
10:34away even though she was saying I love
10:36you that was a response I love you but
10:38you're better than that why would you do
10:39that you just squandered everything that
10:41you've worked for the last you know
10:43almost 10 years right right but you got
10:46one thing you wanted which is you got
10:48Fame sure did you get money is the money
10:51any good or no for I mean it's it's
10:53almost like a personal trainer so a
10:54personal trainer that works at you know
10:56LA Fitness uh probably makes eight or
11:00nine dollars an hour and they get they
11:03don't get paid so like you charge seven
11:06eight hundred dollars a person for
11:07personal training they don't get that
11:09money the organization gets that money
11:11and they get an hourly rate right
11:15um but if you are and you know if you
11:18start personal training on your own and
11:19you're like paying a gym you know a fee
11:22and you're you can make money that way
11:24but my point is some personal trainers
11:26will make two three four hundred
11:28thousand dollars a year and some
11:29personal trainers will make 30. yeah so
11:32this porn's the same way if if you are
11:34in demand you can charge more and how
11:37much you work is dependent on you it's
11:39just like that just like the regular
11:41like acting or or any other like any
11:44industry I guess yeah yeah if if you're
11:46good at your trade and there's a demand
11:48you can charge more money and if there's
11:50a demand you'll work more and that was
11:51my case where I was you know I did a
11:54thousand films over about a six year
11:56period wow and for me so many days a
11:59week are you working so I'm doing like
12:0120 25 films a month whoa so you're
12:05working like every day yeah it was just
12:08it just becomes something that was
12:10incredibly monotonous you know like I
12:13would show up the set and you know do
12:15what I was paid to do and and go about
12:17my business did you know these girls I
12:20mean you uh so in the industry there's
12:23uh like 30 to 40 guys that work all the
12:27time and there's just a constant influx
12:30of girls
12:31um I would say even when I was in the
12:33industry there's not like a superstar
12:35that was like days of old
12:38um because it's so saturated that people
12:41are you know neurologically you you get
12:43that you know that dopamine hit to your
12:45synapse and you're looking but you're
12:46always looking for new and you're
12:48looking for more so the girls are you
12:51know constantly evolving and the guys
12:53don't matter as much yeah but for a
12:55director standpoint so a director is
12:58more often than not there's a production
13:00company that has he has a deal with and
13:02then director hires Talent puts together
13:05a film gets it edited and hands it back
13:07to the production company right so all
13:09the weight is on the director to get
13:11this film done so if you hire a guy that
13:15can't do the job then there's no product
13:17yeah so you just squandered twenty
13:19thirty thousand dollars
13:21because everyone else is getting paid no
13:23matter what because everyone else did
13:24their job but the guy didn't so the guy
13:26is the only person at risk of not
13:28getting paid so what the directors would
13:31do they will find like five to ten guys
13:35that they hire on a consistent basis and
13:37those will be the guys they hire every
13:39single time so that's why I was shooting
13:40so much I just became reliable one of
13:44the reli yeah there was there was
13:45nothing special about me it's like for
13:47me in that industry that was full of
13:49people who you know had significant
13:53trauma that had drug problems you know
13:56like you name it I was just a normal guy
13:59that took my job seriously I showed up
14:01on time I did what I was supposed to do
14:03and I didn't cause any problems so
14:05during this time you're you're not
14:08addicted to drugs you're not falling
14:09into these vices that are traditionally
14:11associated with yeah so for me is
14:13interesting because I'm someone who's
14:14incredibly extroverted but I found
14:16myself because you you're you're so
14:19exposed when you're doing it's like you
14:22the last thing you want to do is be
14:24around people really
14:26um so I I found myself I I wouldn't go
14:28to parties or or anything like that
14:30unless I was being paid to make an
14:32appearance or something like that I I
14:33was you know pretty much a recluse
14:36so you're you're working in the industry
14:38yeah there's this steady stream of girls
14:40coming in yeah what is the relationship
14:43like when the cameras are off yeah
14:45between the guys and the girls in the
14:47industry did you did you have any qualms
14:50about
14:51these girls are obviously very damaged
14:55people yeah or is it just uh oh hi nice
14:58to meet you okay we're gonna go do our
14:59job now and you know see you next time
15:01well if if you if you uh if you get rid
15:04of the introduction and the
15:06and really in the exit yeah so I mean
15:08literally so the way the way that a
15:10normal scene would work is the director
15:13is going to shoot something called
15:14pretty girls and it's just uh just
15:17photos of the girl and then you would
15:19come in and you would take photos with
15:21the girl and then you would leave and
15:24then you would just walk into the room
15:26like there's like the only thing I knew
15:28about the girl is her legal name and the
15:31fact that you know you had to have a
15:33current
15:34um like full panel like STD and AIDS
15:36test so that had to be current so every
15:3821 days you had to have a new test so
15:42you would you would look do the IDS Max
15:44match the test is the test clear great
15:48and that's what I would know about the
15:50girl until I walked into the room and
15:51had sex with her
15:53and then the guys were taking erectile
15:55dysfunction medication the girls were
15:56using Lube or no or numbing cream it was
15:59it was so far from anything that was
16:02remotely intimate
16:03so was the byproduct of you being in
16:06proximity Is people like do people end
16:07up dating sure but who else are you
16:10going to date right you know like
16:11there's no girl out there that's going
16:13to be okay for and I mean in certain
16:16scenarios sure but there's no legitimate
16:19relationship happening outside of
16:21someone who's spending time in that
16:23industry so you would start dating and
16:26this for me was really detrimental uh
16:29mentally so you're dating someone and so
16:32I'm I'm dating a girl we've been dating
16:34for you know a little over a year she's
16:37popular I'm popular and we're of course
16:40like friends I'm friends with the other
16:42guys in the industry because we're
16:43around each other so who else so now
16:45you're sitting at dinner with me and my
16:48girlfriend and him and his girlfriend he
16:50had sex with my girlfriend today and I
16:52had sex with his girlfriend yesterday
16:54and we're sitting there pretending that
16:56we're in a monotonous you know
16:57monogamous relationship and it's it's
17:00it's all fine because it's just work and
17:03the the impact that has on you mentally
17:06and emotionally suppressing reality
17:09is so destructive
17:11and Michael to be honest like me 30
17:13people I mean we can we can touch on
17:15this a little bit later but 30 people
17:17that I knew I knew their fur their real
17:21names I knew things about them
17:24um 30 people since I got out of the
17:25industry I got out of the industry about
17:2711 years ago have taken their life
17:30either suicide or overdose
17:32and it's because more often not the
17:34girls there's a there's a common
17:36trajectory it's a girl gets in the
17:39industry she becomes popular and then
17:42the agent has the girl fill out some
17:45stuff and you have a no list and this no
17:48list is is uh you know I'm not willing
17:51to do certain things that's why I say
17:54don't want to do gay stuffers right or I
17:56mean for girls it's like anal and it's
17:58pretty like it's crazy because
18:00um like these identity factors that
18:03you're you're placating
18:04aspects of people I people's identity
18:07and you're making them genres of
18:09pornography like you know it's like like
18:11inner like for example interracial porn
18:13is not interracial porn it's
18:16specifically any other race with a black
18:18man huh across the board
18:21like that's interracial porn which is
18:23incredibly not like a white guy in a
18:25black right it doesn't yeah if it's a
18:26white guy and a black girl it's not
18:27interracial which is insane it makes no
18:29sense right right it's like blade but
18:31it's just a specific sure fetish or
18:33something yeah yeah I mean yeah all
18:35these all these niches become you know
18:38but but I say that to say so these girls
18:40say I don't want to do X Y and Z and
18:43they become popular and their popularity
18:45tapers off some and their agent goes to
18:48different Studios it's like well
18:50how much would you pay
18:52for this girl to do this thing that she
18:54hasn't done yet because there's this
18:57novelty to it because she hasn't done it
19:00because people know that she says right
19:02this is on my no list yeah well because
19:03you don't see her in these right and but
19:06what happens is the agent goes to the
19:08studio and auctions off this thing that
19:11she doesn't want to do and then the
19:13agent comes back to the girl and says
19:14hey
19:15um I know you have been working as much
19:17lately but this studio just reached out
19:20to me and if you'd be willing to do this
19:23thing that's on your no list they want
19:25to give you fifty thousand dollars and
19:27you'll become relevant again what do you
19:31think and and then she does it and then
19:34it becomes normalized yeah and then
19:36there's no Allure to it anymore now it's
19:38just something that she does and all
19:40those things on the list she eventually
19:41does them
19:42and then in addition to that the agent
19:45there's a he also has an escorting
19:48agency which is glamorized prostitution
19:50right where he's essentially selling
19:52this girl at sex trafficking he's
19:54selling this girl on a site to regular
19:57people and just because there's a check
19:59and that person's getting an STD test
20:01it's justifiable and now she's doing
20:04that
20:05and it is that common too that this is
20:08this is normal across the board like
20:10anyone that becomes popular in any
20:13capacity this is what happens
20:16um and then the phone stops ringing as
20:20the popularity dissipates right and then
20:22eventually they feature dance so feature
20:25dancing is at a strip club you would if
20:28someone would have some kind of name
20:30there would be some novelty around them
20:31which would bring people in and they'd
20:34pay them a fee on top of whatever tips
20:36they would get but that's like bottom of
20:38the barrel that's like them like holding
20:39on for dear life but eventually
20:42the phone stops ringing
20:45and they've been told for five years
20:47what's crazy so girls start to age out
20:49of the industry around 30.
20:51so the but these girls they've been told
20:54for five years this is who you are you
20:58can't do anything else no one else is
20:59going to want you you're gonna have to
21:01continue to compromise
21:03so that you can become relevant again
21:05right once all the compromise is gone
21:07you're left with this this the scary
21:10thing because if you believe a lie to be
21:11true it's true to you
21:13so this girl believes my worth
21:16is indicative of me selling myself for
21:18sex there's nothing else that I can ever
21:21do no man's ever going to want to marry
21:23me there's no organization that's ever
21:25going to want me to contribute to it
21:27because I'm worthless I'm dirty I'm
21:29damaged goods this stuff's always going
21:31to be on the internet
21:32and they choose to medicate or
21:35they just take their lives so 30 people
21:38that I was in the industry with
21:40that's their story mostly women or like
21:4328 of those women
21:46man
21:48and that's just people that I was close
21:51to the number is far greater and it's
21:54not just overdose and suicide it's it's
21:56people putting themselves in situations
21:58where you know it's it's really like
22:01it's not I hate to say it it's
22:03interesting but it's insane to think
22:05about how many girls end up in
22:07relationships where the abuse is great
22:09enough where they're murdered because
22:11you put yourself in situations that you
22:12would never put yourself in because you
22:14devalue yourself right it's like I I
22:17deserve this because I'm you know
22:20whatever and you just live your life
22:22like that and then even like all of my
22:24roommates that I had when I was in the
22:26industry dead
22:28but it's because they they live their
22:29life in such a way where they didn't
22:31care if they lived you know like
22:33something like one guy fell off a
22:34balcony he was drunk in Mexico and fell
22:37off a balcony like he would have never
22:38done that in what's so sad is when they
22:42releases obituary it says is stage name
22:45and how many porn movies he did in on X
22:48Y and Z and doesn't even talk about the
22:50man that he was right that's your
22:52Epitaph right if that's what you're
22:54known for that's that's your epitaph
22:57one of the big criticisms of the porn
22:59industry that you hear especially from
23:00feminists is that it's dominated by
23:04these male producers who are taking all
23:05the money and they're being financially
23:07and professionally abusive of the women
23:09to say nothing of the physical abuse
23:11but then the pro-porn people will say
23:14okay then the the porn performers can
23:18just go on to only fans or
23:21presumably they're a copycat websites
23:23out there where you the performer has
23:25control over the production and they're
23:28keeping more of the money or or whatever
23:30and this is exploded even though I think
23:33the vast majority of the women on only
23:35fans don't make any money really at all
23:37yeah so it's I mean it's pretty sad so
23:40it's like it's so what's happening
23:42across the board especially any of the
23:45girls from the porn industry or any most
23:47of the girls that have any kind of
23:48notoriety it's catfishing 2.0 so what's
23:52happening is is curated content so it's
23:55it's you know fill it's it's videos and
23:58photographs that were shot prior to and
24:01then you got you know Joe Blow sitting
24:04in a basement having a conversation with
24:06these people because so on only fans you
24:08can chat well I guess not so you can it
24:10seems like you're chatting with a person
24:12well here it is every single time you
24:15you message someone you have to pay for
24:17that message every time you get a video
24:19you have to pay for that video so you
24:22it's a subscription base so the
24:23subscription to to that person might be
24:25a dollar or twenty dollars but the money
24:28is made in the DMS and on the DMS you
24:32have to pay per message and you have to
24:34pay per video but the messaging and the
24:38pictures and the video it's getting sent
24:41to you by a person that's just pulling
24:43stock footage that already exists and
24:46you believe that you're having a
24:47conversation in real time with someone
24:48and you're paying for every response and
24:51it's just someone sitting in a basement
24:53somewhere it's probably some dude yes
24:55right yeah oh man that's awesome that's
24:57why I'm saying it's catfishing two
24:58points oh man that is so that makes a
25:02thing that it would be sad and degrading
25:04even if it were this porn actress sure
25:06personally but it is so much worse
25:11but then
25:12if you're the guy
25:14and you're you're not gonna meet this
25:17girl you're not going to marry this girl
25:19you're not gonna
25:20if if your only interaction is just
25:23these videos and these messages
25:26does it even matter sure does it I don't
25:29know you're just writing these messages
25:30does it matter that some fat guy in a
25:32basement rather than some like cute porn
25:34lady well because in because your
25:36emotions are real and you're you're
25:38forming an emotional connection with
25:40this person
25:44and in in your in your telling your your
25:48brain your mind your heart it's okay
25:50with me buying intimacy
25:55so I'm going to believe that's a okay
25:58and B I'm probably going to distance
26:02myself from any opportunity of engaging
26:05in reality because there's an
26:06opportunity for me to be rejected
26:08there's you know there's a lot of
26:10there's a lot of risk involved
26:13and so but what if this becomes my
26:16expectations and nothing can meet my
26:18expectations because my expectations are
26:20built on something that's not real
26:22because they used to have the old phone
26:24sex lines sure in the 90s it was you
26:27dial 1 900 number yeah but you believe
26:29even then we'll be talking to this sexy
26:32girl you're probably not right you're
26:34probably not right you know if you're if
26:37you're working the hotlines you're yeah
26:39you're not working in front of the game
26:40not some smoking hot girl sitting here
26:43at two in the morning on your phone
26:44you're just not yeah like all of that
26:48stuff is built on creating a reality
26:51this fictitious that's why it's scalable
26:53it's scalable because it's not real
26:56and end the opportunity cost that you
26:58point out
27:00you you can't be messaging
27:04this illusion of this hot chick who's
27:06really probably a fat dude every night
27:08and simultaneously be pursuing a healthy
27:11romantic relationship that might lead to
27:13marriage you can't if you do one you
27:15can't do the other but you're also
27:16disconnecting yourself from reality yeah
27:19because what happens it like compromise
27:21in any area of your life will lead to
27:23compromise in every area of your life
27:26right so it will impact your integrity
27:28it'll impact like if if I believe
27:31relationships are built on transaction
27:33Michael the the moment that you can't do
27:36something for me and you text me and you
27:39need to have a conversation with me or
27:41you want me to help you move a couch man
27:43you haven't done anything for me lately
27:44why am I going to respond to you why am
27:46I going to answer your phone call
27:47because I had this transactionary
27:49mindset right and that could bleed into
27:53your family well absolutely anything
27:54well I'm not going to value your
27:56relationship I'm not going to Value
27:57quality time yeah I'm not going to Value
27:59you know a multitude of things because
28:02I'm disconnected from what's real what
28:04about for the girls though so I I see
28:06how awful this is for the consumers yeah
28:09and for everyone who's around the
28:10consumers yeah but these girls yeah so
28:12let's say there was one girl who made
28:14headlines because she sold her bath
28:15water yeah and made like a zillion
28:17dollars doing it or something yeah okay
28:19that's the headline you saw I made a
28:20bazillion dollars or some stupid thing
28:22on only fans
28:23but then you look at the statistics the
28:25vast majority of these women are making
28:26nothing yeah and and you think of again
28:30talk about opportunity cost the moment
28:33that you put one picture of yourself up
28:35the moment you present yourself as a
28:38porn girl on the internet yeah
28:42that changes the trajectory of your life
28:45what also you can't do something like
28:48that you can't compromise your dignity
28:50yeah without a belief that knowing it's
28:54going to cost you something yeah like if
28:57if I was looking at porn in a library or
29:00wherever you know in a coffee shop
29:02whatever wherever wherever even even if
29:04I was looking at something on Instagram
29:05that was slightly inappropriate if
29:07someone walks past me
29:10yeah of course or you know I get rid of
29:13it why there's a deep level of Shame
29:17and there's there's just something about
29:19sexuality there's something about that
29:22that is ingrained in you so deeply that
29:25you can't deny it yeah and when you
29:28start to deny the things that are true
29:30that you cannot run from it's going to
29:33cost you more than you would ever want
29:35to pay and I know that person right it's
29:38so evil it's just so powerfully evil and
29:41I know it's a fallen world and there's
29:43lots of evil to go around but it seems
29:45so particularly evil
29:47oh and did you did you get a glimpse of
29:50what the top of the industry looks like
29:52meaning beyond the casting directors
29:55Beyond even the distributors or whatever
29:58it how conscious are the people who run
30:02this of how they're not conscious of
30:04that I mean I mean how aware are they of
30:07how yeah I mean they're they're just not
30:08well they're aware of how much money
30:10they're making yeah so I mean so you
30:11have mind geek that's the organization
30:13out of Canada that owns Mo you know
30:15they've monopolized the porn industry
30:17and they do that that's the one that
30:19owns Pornhub Pornhub and many others
30:21many many others okay like you you if if
30:24it's something that someone could recall
30:26they own it wow
30:28um and in addition to that they own
30:30traffic junkie so traffic junkie is when
30:33you go to a porn site it actually it
30:35captures your information and sells it
30:37to Facebook and Google
30:39so when you are on Facebook and you've
30:42been watching porn earlier that day or
30:44that night before and you see that
30:45inappropriate thing pop up on your
30:47Facebook feed it's an advertisement it's
30:48not an accident my friend wow it's the
30:51very evidence that someone's been
30:53shelling your information so it's funny
30:55because if
30:56if fear of the just punishments of our
31:00Lord and God is not enough to keep
31:02people from doing bad things because
31:04people mess up and they do bad things
31:05all the time
31:07uh the just punishments uh or the unjust
31:10punishments maybe of these website
31:12cookie trafficking companies that that
31:14might put a little fear into people too
31:16so and the so the company this type of
31:19company that exists is owned by the porn
31:22distributor the biggest foreign
31:24by mindgeek which owns PornHub many
31:28other organizations but the but the
31:30scary thing is so the porn industry just
31:33eclipsed a hundred billion dollar
31:34industry
31:36a hundred billion dollars so if you take
31:38the NFL Major League Baseball and the
31:41NBA and put all the revenue together it
31:43still doesn't Eclipse how much money
31:45porn makes if you take how many people
31:47visit Netflix Amazon and Twitter on a
31:50daily basis it doesn't Eclipse how many
31:52people are watching porn on a daily
31:54basis in the neighborhood of 30 to 35
31:57percent of all the data transferred on
31:59the internet on a daily basis is some
32:02type of pornography but you're telling
32:04me that the people who run this
32:05extremely rich powerful industry who see
32:08the data maybe they don't meet the
32:10performers but they at least absolutely
32:13they're completely detached from really
32:15human interaction because because the
32:18the way that porn makes money is
32:20monetized through viewership just the
32:22same way like you like YouTube's
32:24monetized right YouTube got that model
32:26from PornHub like all the major uh
32:29technological advancements that you see
32:32that are happening
32:33they're taking the model that came from
32:36porn I had an academic buddy of mine
32:39once told me that porn sets a lot of the
32:42technological advancements yeah of these
32:45products sure including when you're on
32:46YouTube and you skip ahead and a
32:48thumbnail pops up and it's yeah here's
32:50the part of the video my friend was
32:52telling me this comes from porn because
32:54people want you know they have short
32:56attention spans and so they want to jump
32:57ahead so
32:59so I guess that people say that to give
33:02credit to the porn industry they say
33:03look they're moving the technology
33:05forward and even so the way that like
33:08you know the way that you become
33:10monetized and make money off of YouTube
33:12or any other social media is you get to
33:15the point where there's enough
33:16viewership where you can run ads on your
33:18media right that came from porn wow the
33:22thing that's so hard for me to believe
33:24though is just that the these people at
33:27the maybe it's easy to believe but it's
33:28people at the top they're just so
33:29divorced they're just looking at numbers
33:31on spreadsheets they really don't see
33:33the human connection if if I were
33:36running an industry and one of my top
33:39workers
33:40came out and said hey 30 of my friends
33:43killed themselves in the last decade
33:45yeah because of this industry like it
33:47would be hard for me running the
33:48industry not to
33:50notice that right but they do notice it
33:53you know what they do someone takes
33:55their life so there's there's a specific
33:57example of this I won't use the name
34:00um but there was a girl that
34:03um she she didn't want to work with a
34:06specific male performer this performer
34:08had done like some like homosexual porn
34:12Okay and she chose like I don't want to
34:14work with this person and then she was
34:17attacked on social media because she
34:20didn't want to work with this person for
34:21being homophobic right and then so so
34:24now she's being attacked to the point
34:26where
34:27she ends up taking her own life she
34:29hangs herself in a public park
34:31this happened like 2016 2017. and and
34:35then so what the industry does and has
34:37done so this is their playbook someone
34:39dies
34:40and then they make a best of
34:43film to honor her but they monopolize
34:47off of this tragedy so not only do they
34:51see it they make more money right they
34:54figure out how to capitalize on it sure
34:57but but to them it's just a product well
35:00people are products yeah people are
35:02products and sex is transactional across
35:04the board that's why there's there's so
35:06much Detachment right and so and that's
35:08the danger for the consumer as well
35:12say more about that well the danger for
35:13the consumer so if I am watching
35:16pornography I'm forming this
35:19relationship with a screen in my hand
35:22and I'm detaching myself from reality
35:24I'm becoming disconnected from what
35:27intimacy actually is I'm re-ingraining
35:31this you know this neurological pattern
35:33where I can be selfish I I I'm not going
35:36to be rejected
35:38um sex is transactional it's about me
35:41when I want it uh and it just it just
35:44just reintegrates this behavior in
35:47myself where it's nothing like being in
35:50an actual relationship with a human
35:52being whatsoever
35:54now you as the performer
35:57are you seeing this happen to you that
35:58you're just not viewing people as people
36:00you're becoming dehumanized or no I
36:04would say yes but it first happens with
36:06you
36:07you detach yourself from reality because
36:09number one you're going by pseudonym you
36:11don't even go by your real name so it's
36:12interesting that the first thing that
36:15the director promised me is I can make
36:17your name famous but the first thing
36:19that happened was my name actually died
36:22because if I can detach you from any
36:25kind of you know
36:27belief in you know there's some kind of
36:30moral you know aspect of this that I
36:33should or shouldn't be doing if I'm
36:36calling myself by another name
36:38then it detaches you from it because and
36:41it covers the shame you Joshua Broome
36:43have a mother you have a God you have an
36:47upbringing you have a moral sense yeah
36:50at least some kind of moral sense that
36:51you but you whatever your performer name
36:54is right well that guy just he just got
36:57invented five minutes ago right that
36:58kind of anything yeah it's like the
37:00Tropic Thunder it's like I'm a dude
37:02playing a dude disguises another dude
37:04that doesn't even know what duty is you
37:07know but it's true though it's that you
37:08because you're you're you have a stage
37:10name and everyone around you caused my
37:13stage name in and that for me that that
37:16became real in that I had people in my
37:19life saying hey I love you
37:22what are you doing yeah like you could
37:25be doing other stuff
37:26why are you doing this
37:29and then you hear that and you're like
37:31well either I have to take into
37:33consideration what they said or I push
37:36them away
37:37and I pushed anyone that was speaking
37:41sensibly to me away and I just
37:43surrounded myself with a bunch of people
37:45who were patting me on my back on my way
37:46to hell
37:47wow
37:49so
37:50how long into the industry before you
37:53start to think
37:55I've pushed away all these people that I
37:57love and I'm not happy and I
38:01how how long is that time period yeah so
38:04for me
38:06um I think like to revisit a question
38:08you asked earlier he said can you make
38:10money in this industry for me I you know
38:13someone who I grew up not having a
38:16father in my home yet the father
38:20um he was in the same town grew up in a
38:21very small town in South Carolina and
38:23the added Dynamic was I saw him I knew
38:26he was my father but he was never a
38:28father in my home or my life did he
38:30acknowledge that you were his son uh yes
38:33but but that but that was it there was
38:35no there was like a few attempts and
38:38um
38:39yeah so there was a few attempts for him
38:41to to be part of my life in some
38:43capacity but he ended up getting married
38:45and then you know you know he was they
38:47were both 16 at the time and my mom
38:50chose to keep me and he chose to you
38:52know continue living his life
38:54and I would see him
38:57and that made me feel what's wrong with
38:58me yeah but like it was confusing at
39:01first and then it made me angry
39:02specifically because I saw this man in
39:05this healthy Dynamic like he like he was
39:08married and they had kids and they had a
39:10nice home and you know they had all
39:12these things and it was just me and my
39:14mom struggling wow most people who grew
39:18up without a father I mean what do I
39:20know I just I guess in my imagination of
39:22this the father is on the other side of
39:25the world before it was just not there I
39:28imagine it's much much harder if you see
39:30this guy and you see his new family yeah
39:33I mean there's there's definitely
39:34different aspects of fatherlessness
39:36where it's like some if someone in my
39:37case or like there's a there's there's
39:39various you know traumas that come with
39:41levels of fatherlessness like divorce or
39:44maybe some a father that's in the home
39:45but he's not present but there's but yes
39:48to your point it was very frustrating
39:50that the thing that I felt like I needed
39:52most and the thing that I wanted most
39:54was in Arm's Reach but had no interest
39:57in me were you aware of this at the time
39:59or you were just angry and you didn't
40:01know why well I I was confused until I
40:03was angry but I was always aware
40:06you know because he was there right you
40:08know so that caused so me having a high
40:12achiever personality it's like well I
40:14can outwork
40:16my feeling of lack I can overcome my
40:20feeling of worthlessness or my need to
40:23be valuable so through affirmation it
40:26was you know first it was Scholastics
40:28then it was Sports then it was getting
40:29the girl that no one else could get
40:31thinking the most girls and so on and so
40:33on but being in that industry that
40:35personality trait came with me both me
40:38feeling inadequate and me feeling like I
40:41need to prove myself right so being
40:43someone who's someone analytical I love
40:45statistics and it's like okay just I'm
40:47tracking literally on a spreadsheet once
40:49I make a million dollars then I'll be
40:53happy I'll be fulfilled it's like so I'm
40:55like tracking it like it's some kind of
40:56game I do it I make a million dollars
40:59and guess what it didn't work and then
41:01the same thing like in the industry I
41:03got nominated for uh performer of the
41:05Year got nominated three years in a row
41:07didn't win didn't win didn't win fourth
41:10year I won it and I thought like that
41:12was like the Mount Rushmore of porn
41:14because it was this big award show and
41:16then it was not only the the actors and
41:18the actresses but the you know the
41:19organizations the studios like they
41:21voted on it so they meant like you're
41:23the guy
41:24and I won and when I won I thought that
41:28it would bring me the sense of relief
41:29this this this feeling of lack this
41:31frustration this pain I thought I would
41:33experience joy and fulfillment and I did
41:36for a second
41:37and but it didn't work it didn't last
41:39and that quickly Amplified my anxiety
41:43deep in my depression it took me to a
41:45place where decision after decision
41:47after decision led me to a I okay I'm
41:50now making a plan to take my life
41:53so at that point you are truly the dog
41:56who catches the car there is nowhere
41:58else for you to go yeah you've made a
42:01lot of money you're the number one guy
42:03there isn't there is no achievement to
42:06get right in this line of work right
42:11I never got into video games except for
42:14a little period of time yeah when I was
42:15like five years old I played Donkey Kong
42:17and then when I was a teenager I got a
42:19kick out of Grand Theft Auto oh yeah
42:20because it was so crazy it was so you
42:22know you just keep running people over
42:24and yeah flying helicopters into
42:26buildings doing all this crazy stuff
42:27yeah and
42:29I remember though playing the video game
42:33in this aimless way not on the missions
42:36just aimlessly shooting people or
42:38whatever robbing things yeah
42:41and after a certain point
42:43I realized this was pointless
42:46and I just go kill myself in the game
42:49and I've fought back on that at some
42:51point over the years
42:53and I think there's something profound
42:55in that
42:57intuition that if you're you're aimless
43:01and you're just doing things for
43:03pleasure and then you reach what would
43:06appear to be the maximum amount of
43:07pleasure
43:09I've never
43:11considered ending my life right
43:14but I think intellectually I could see
43:16how someone could get to that place yeah
43:19and you get to that place yeah
43:22yeah I literally got to a place where so
43:25I it's interesting so I just came from
43:28uh I was doing a speaking engagement in
43:31Atlanta and
43:33um it was the first time I've been back
43:34to Atlanta since the last time I left
43:36Atlanta the last time I left Atlanta was
43:3811 years ago and that's what I had done
43:40my last film you did the a porn film in
43:44Atlanta in Atlanta okay 11 years ago
43:47and then I'm flying back to LAX and in
43:51my head I'm like making the decision
43:53like okay I'm going to take my life when
43:54I get home go home I get enough I do
43:58some some research I'm saying how much
44:00you know these pain medications like
44:02what I have to take to overdose
44:04I get it I line them up on the counter
44:07I'm like okay I can't swallow this many
44:09pills at once but so this and then I've
44:12got this check in my pocket and it's
44:14just like it's just driving me crazy
44:15it's this giant like cashier's check I
44:18just feel it in my pocket I'm wearing
44:20slacks and I just feel it against my
44:21skin it's driving me crazy I'm not sure
44:23why I'm so aware of it and then I take
44:25it out and I start thinking like well if
44:27I'm going to do this
44:29um you know I assume my bank account
44:31will go to my mom or my brother or
44:34something like that so I'll go deposit
44:37this check and then I'll come back and
44:38take care of this and I welcome to this
44:41bank and normally I would just go to the
44:43Dropbox or the ATM because on the memo
44:47of the check it said what was for like
44:49it would have the title the movie which
44:51was always grotesque and I was
44:52humiliated I didn't want to look someone
44:54in the eye and say hey here's the check
44:55for me selling myself for seconds didn't
44:58want to do that but today on on this day
45:01I didn't care I was like whatever I
45:03don't care I went through the line you
45:05know signed the check slide slide the
45:07check across the counter normal
45:09transaction and I pivot to walk away and
45:13she kind of stops me and she says excuse
45:15me Joshua
45:18are you okay
45:20Joshua can I do something for you
45:23and what she didn't know is it had been
45:25over a year since I had heard my name
45:28I'd stop answering my mom's text I'd
45:31gotten rid of like I've unfriended
45:33anyone that followed me on social media
45:35that was like from my actual life my
45:38fraternity Brothers my friends from high
45:40school my brother I wasn't returning any
45:43tax I wasn't returning any calls the
45:46only person that it existed was my stage
45:49name which everyone on set called me
45:51everyone knew me I was very well known
45:54so the gym that I went to the barber
45:55shop that I went to like everywhere that
45:57I went that's all that I heard Joshua
45:59did not exist but when she said my name
46:02it stopped me in my tracks and it
46:05wrecked me
46:06because all of a sudden I was faced with
46:08what was real
46:10because at that moment I'd created this
46:12plausible reality based on lies guilt
46:14and shame
46:16up to and including if the stage name
46:18guy kills himself well who cares he's
46:20just he's not real yeah but if Joshua
46:22kills himself yeah Joshua was a kid
46:25Joshua has a mom yeah Joshua is pissed
46:27off at his dad Joshua has a brother yeah
46:31so for me I like what I felt immediately
46:34was guilt and regret from not letting my
46:38mom know if I was okay like that was the
46:40last few text messages that she sent me
46:42she's like you know dang it just tell me
46:45if you're okay or not like if you're not
46:47going to come home if you're going to
46:48stay doing them whatever you're doing
46:50whatever I just want to know if you're
46:52okay and I was so selfish
46:55and so caught up in my shame and my
46:58pride that I couldn't even pick up the
47:01phone or send a text and let my mom know
47:03that I was alive
47:05and in that moment when I heard my name
47:08that my mom had given me
47:10my reality was challenged and I felt the
47:13pain that I was numb to
47:15so I ran home and I called my mom
47:19and then my mom said what she had been
47:21saying for you know I'd been in La for
47:23eight nine years something like that but
47:26I was in the industry for six and she
47:28said the same thing she had said I love
47:30you
47:31you're better than this
47:33please come home
47:35so I did so that day I called my agent I
47:39called my PR person quit I quit I quit
47:42I'm out of here I even like found
47:44someone to sublease my place I'm like I
47:46don't care you know just pay rent you
47:49can have literally have everything in my
47:52home like all my furniture everything
47:53I'm gonna take some clothes
47:56and I'm I'm out of here there's this odd
48:01paradox
48:03on the one hand you're behaving in this
48:06extremely selfish way on the other hand
48:08you've completely
48:10neglected yourself and denied the
48:13existence of yourself yeah
48:15I say it's a paradox because I don't
48:18think it's it's exactly a contradiction
48:20or an impossibility in fact very often
48:23that would appear to be how these things
48:25go killing yourself is both extremely
48:27selfish and a complete rejection of the
48:29self how does
48:31how is that yeah it it's it's an
48:34interesting thing to struggle with
48:35because on the outside aesthetically you
48:38know I was taking very good care of
48:40myself but I was dying inside I think
48:42you know that's that's why it's so much
48:44easier to put on a mask you pretend you
48:46know for me I just wanted the person in
48:48front of me to like me or to do the
48:50thing to get the affirmation I didn't
48:52care about anything else
48:54but I was a dissolution and disconnected
48:56from reality the power of the name is so
48:59striking yeah because we think oh who
49:03cares about a name you can have a
49:04nickname you can change your name it's
49:06no big deal that's just words words
49:08words we call you know I call this a
49:10glass but I could call this a
49:12parakeet wouldn't right it's just
49:13whatever it's just whatever it is
49:15but that isn't true names do matter
49:18quite a lot yeah the first charge given
49:20to Adam in the Garden of Eden is name
49:22everything yeah all the way up to modern
49:25day this big political fight that
49:27everybody seems to be in right now over
49:28transgenderism right is basically a
49:31fight over names yeah and the
49:33relationship between names and reality
49:35if you call me
49:36Johnny or you call me Mary Sue it's not
49:39gonna if you call me Rachel maddowell
49:41I'll probably laugh
49:42but if you say that to someone
49:45who is in the transgender movement sure
49:49the person will lose it if you
49:51mispronounce or misgender meaning use
49:54the correct pronouns for somebody this
49:56is the worst crime you can possibly
49:57commit against them because they know
49:59the power of a name I mean even the the
50:01transgender transition
50:04is a kind of ritual suicide right where
50:06you say okay my old self that's my dead
50:08name that's a dead person I forget that
50:11person yeah I'm this new person
50:13it's hard not to see a parallel to what
50:15you're describing in the industry sure
50:17sure and and that and I think in in a
50:20deeper way in any aspect it's like it's
50:23an identity crisis yeah if my identity
50:26is rooted in a belief around a feeling
50:30or a behavior and I identify myself
50:32based on that yeah I'm going to
50:34constantly be in this identity crisis
50:36because there's actually an author of
50:39life that's given me an identity that I
50:41I don't get to choose
50:43who or what I am
50:45but I can feel a certain way but my
50:48feelings can't Define me
50:51because I've already been defined by an
50:53author
50:55I I was talking to a Exorcist on this
50:58show actually
50:59and we were talking about selling your
51:02soul to the devil and he said well you
51:05know you can't actually do that right
51:06that's what do you mean you can't do
51:07that he says you don't own your soul
51:09yeah it's not yours you know you didn't
51:11make your own life you didn't con you
51:12didn't craft your soul and so you can't
51:14sell it either the devil tricks you
51:15makes you think you can salvage you
51:17actually can't sell it you you can't
51:20totally Define yourself we tried to do
51:22that a lot sure but you can't you didn't
51:24choose how you came into this world you
51:26damn well sure shouldn't choose how you
51:29go out of the world right and so you
51:31have obligations to other people and so
51:32this bank teller
51:34providentially yeah calls out says your
51:37name yeah this hits you you call your
51:40actual mother not your invented personas
51:42right yeah I call my mom and then and
51:45then I run home and uh and then I spend
51:48two years
51:49just doing everything I can to cover up
51:51what I'd done like I literally I had
51:54tattoos cover them up with new tattoos
51:57you know shaved my head deleted my
51:59social media did everything that I could
52:01to hide what I'd done like like very
52:04like genesis 2 Genesis 3. yeah I'm
52:06running I'm hiding I don't want to be
52:09found and
52:11um
52:11I get to a place where
52:14I just I'm okay like I look like I'm
52:17okay on the outside I start working at a
52:19gym and again that the personality
52:21trait's still there it's like what like
52:22that's just who I am like regardless of
52:24what I'm doing if I'm eating wings I'm
52:27gonna eat the most or the hottest like
52:28I'm gonna win I'm gonna die to win no
52:30matter what it's just who I am so it's
52:32like okay if I'm gonna be a personal
52:34trainer I'm going to be the best thing
52:35personal trainer there's ever been yeah
52:37and I've quickly worked my way up in
52:39this gym and you know worked my way into
52:42management and I'm doing okay
52:44but at night I'm not doing okay because
52:48the reality of what's on the internet
52:50and people recognizing me and me just
52:53wanting to be a regular person was
52:56nearly impossible but I was almost in
52:58denial of that I consider myself a
53:01fairly Mimi guy like I'm fairly
53:04internety I'm not very plugged into pop
53:06culture but internet AI I have a large
53:08collection of memes yeah and one of my
53:12producers I will not say which one
53:14embarrass this producer said are you
53:17aware of this meme of Joshua and I said
53:20I'm not and he said it's it's this funny
53:22meme it's from a porn scene yeah it
53:25became it took on a life of its own yeah
53:28so it's you
53:30it's you in a bathtub and someone comes
53:33in and says hey you're at the beach and
53:35you need a lifeguard or something you
53:36say I'm not in a beach I'm in a bathroom
53:38or something yeah yeah so
53:40um to
53:42so there there was this Meme and it's
53:44been shared probably I think it's been
53:46shared over 100 million times it became
53:48really popular on me uh on Vine and then
53:51it became really popular on Tick Tock
53:52but there's this scene where this goes
53:56to the ridiculous of the writing yeah
53:58happens in pornography but
54:00um I'm in a bathtub and then a lifeguard
54:03runs in yeah and she's like get out
54:06there's a shark in the water
54:09and I was like
54:10what are you talking about lady like
54:12this is a beach it's not a you know this
54:14is the this is not a beach yeah yeah
54:16that's so that's what I say this is not
54:18a beach it's a bathtub and but with it
54:22with like
54:23like straight face you know you know
54:25it's funny it is is it it's a very funny
54:27but in that it's
54:29maybe maybe a lot of porn is like this
54:31but it that strikes me as it's so
54:33self-aware about what it is there's no
54:35there's no real pretense it's just like
54:37haha we're here right yeah I mean she
54:40like she ran in with like the little
54:41like lifeguard thing and she's wearing
54:43like she's dressed in like like Baywatch
54:45you know she's got the red bathing suit
54:46on you know and she comes in I'm just
54:48sitting in the bathtub and that's and
54:50that's the meme it's like this isn't a
54:52beach it's a bathtub like is the meme so
54:55if this went viral during the years of
54:57Vine
54:58were you out of the industry at this
55:00point or were you still in it Vine was
55:02like 2012-ish yeah so I got out at in
55:042012. this is right around the time yeah
55:07so it went it went viral then and then
55:08it went and then people started like
55:10remaking it on YouTube and then it got
55:12popular on Tick Tock as well
55:15um and then I found out about Tick Tock
55:17and I was like and I oh so through
55:20finding out like how like popular Tick
55:22Tock was being I take I took a peek at
55:24Tick Tock and I'm like oh this is not
55:25for me you know this is bad this is bad
55:27news yeah so you think regular social
55:30media is bad tick tock is just cracked
55:31because there's no home screen right you
55:33just always in some video with music and
55:35then but then I then I talked with
55:37someone and it was like well there's um
55:39there's your your for you page and then
55:42there's a page where it's just the
55:44people you follow yeah I was like
55:47anyway
55:48they're like well you know they're
55:49showing me data it's like how many you
55:51know this is the most downloaded app you
55:53know in this age demographic and so on
55:55and I started thinking like well okay
55:58you know my objective is to reach people
56:00with the gospel so how could how could I
56:04leverage this for that I'm like let's
56:07let's think about this and then I start
56:10doing some research and then someone
56:12sent me like hey have you seen this meme
56:15or like something about the meme and I
56:17was like I have no idea you know because
56:19it became popular like after I was out
56:21of the industry so I have no idea about
56:23it and I I did some research and I was
56:25like man like 100 million views like 100
56:28million times this thing has been shared
56:30it's like as far as like popularity of
56:32memes it was like top 20 it was like you
56:35know it was when one at one point it was
56:37like one of the most popular means that
56:38existed and
56:40um I was like this is this is ridiculous
56:42and then I made a tick tock around it
56:45and it was like but it was like uh who I
56:48who I used to be and who I am today and
56:52it was just and it was just like a back
56:54and forth of like it was that picture
56:55and then like me getting baptized and
56:58then like that a picture of me in the
57:00industry and then me getting married and
57:02a picture of me in the industry
57:04um and then you know me like you know in
57:08my family yeah and then you know it
57:10reached you know so so I've been sharing
57:13like not just with the moon but just
57:15like sharing my testimony
57:17and uh so just I I shared something
57:19along that lines on Instagram uh about a
57:23month ago and it reached seven million
57:25people
57:26but the organization that we put
57:28together so it's one thing to reach a
57:30lot of people so we've got an ecosystem
57:32where there's you know using AI yeah uh
57:36there there's there's key words that if
57:38you type
57:40you'll get a message and that message
57:42routes you to an opportunity to you know
57:44like biblical literacy or like talk to a
57:47person or if you're struggling with
57:48pornography there's there's a website
57:50that we've created that there's a 10
57:52steps of how to be free from it and so
57:55it took that it's great to reach
57:57millions of people but we took that and
57:59and create a systemized way of
58:02connecting people all those people to
58:05The Next Step whether it be like freedom
58:07from pornography or hearing the gospel
58:08or being connected to a church or
58:10whatever what's it like to be recognized
58:13in porn I have a very moderate slight
58:18public profile
58:20and so every now and again someone will
58:22come up and say hey buddy you know I
58:24loved your commentary on something sure
58:27or at some labor wants to throw an egg
58:28at me but it's it's always
58:32people are open if they see me right but
58:36with porn yeah people don't want to
58:38admit that they're watching it so do
58:40they come up to you and or when I was in
58:41the industry
58:43unapologetically but well I guess
58:45I think you have to factor in the fact
58:48that like I was in Hollywood I was
58:51living in Hollywood or I was in Vegas
58:53those are the places I was I was at the
58:55most right so
58:59unapologetically people would come up
59:01and ask you know to for autographs or to
59:03take pictures with me well
59:05um it was a very common occurrence it
59:07wasn't just you know someone across the
59:08room like looks away well that happens
59:10more often now than not not a ton but
59:14like wow yeah but so you're you are
59:18being recognized regularly even now that
59:20you're back in your old town with your
59:22mother well because from the outside
59:24looking in like a month removed from
59:27being the most famous person in that
59:28industry
59:29so in in just the way that content comes
59:32out you know it's it's not it doesn't
59:34come out you know I I film a film yeah I
59:36mean there's stuff steadily coming out a
59:37year after I'm I'm out of the industry
59:39so people are like what do you aren't
59:41you that guy like what what are you
59:43doing here why are you working at a gym
59:46like what are you what are you doing in
59:47this what are you doing in in North
59:48Carolina like what are you doing wow
59:51um so it happened so often I would just
59:53lie until I got found out and then I had
59:56done over a thousand films so I was one
59:58Google search away from you know
01:00:00everyone knowing everything I didn't
01:00:02want to know right
01:00:03um so did they connect your real name
01:00:05with your stage name was that a common
01:00:07thing well it was like on on IMDb it was
01:00:10it was connected okay
01:00:12um so and and like unfortunately like
01:00:15all the things that I had done that I
01:00:16was proud of were on there but it got
01:00:18buried yeah
01:00:20Avalanche before yeah
01:00:23um but yeah so people would find you
01:00:26know I would I would lie until I got
01:00:28found out and then I would just deal
01:00:29with it
01:00:30um hurt a lot of people
01:00:32um almost got fired from different
01:00:34things
01:00:36um people didn't want me to personal
01:00:37train them but I just continued chipping
01:00:40away and then it just kind of became
01:00:42normal it was like okay I'm this trainer
01:00:45that's operating in a high capacity I'm
01:00:47a decent leader in the gym
01:00:49um so there's this stuff about them but
01:00:52you know whatever
01:00:54and it just becomes kind of normal and
01:00:56then there's this girl that starts
01:00:58coming to the gym super gorgeous and I
01:01:01asked her out on a date and she says no
01:01:02which I was like excuse me yeah I'm a
01:01:06good looking guy personal trainer yeah
01:01:07yeah I got a million bucks yeah
01:01:10um but she says no and um and then she's
01:01:13like well uh we we can go on a run if
01:01:17you want and I'm like all right you know
01:01:19I I'll I'll run with you you know I
01:01:22don't really love like doing long runs
01:01:24like you would have like a 5K and I'm
01:01:26like but for you yes 100 I will run and
01:01:30I go there to meet her and I'm waiting
01:01:32on her to get there and I almost feel
01:01:35like my mom's voice in my head saying
01:01:38don't you dare lie to her don't you hurt
01:01:42her yeah because I'd hurt girl after
01:01:44girl after girl after girl how so just
01:01:46by being I would I would I would not
01:01:48tell him about my past and then all of a
01:01:50sudden yeah yeah yeah
01:01:52um and it was you know sometimes you
01:01:53know withholding the truth is just as
01:01:55painful as not telling the truth at all
01:01:58um so but for her I'm waiting and like
01:02:01I'm feeling like don't you lie to her
01:02:04and she gets there and we we never made
01:02:07it to a run we continued walking and I
01:02:09just look at her I'm like hey
01:02:11I want to tell you something I did a
01:02:13little bit of porn she was like excuse
01:02:16me come again can you say that one more
01:02:18time and then I was just like
01:02:20tell the whole truth you know just like
01:02:22man up tell the truth and then like you
01:02:26know I blacked out like five minutes
01:02:27just like you know did all this stuff
01:02:29and you know when I was you know just
01:02:31literally at any bad thing that I could
01:02:32recall just like spitting it out and
01:02:35then she's like pretty shocked
01:02:37and then after a moment of obviously
01:02:39processing this Insanity it ends with
01:02:43like I stole a chocolate bar when I was
01:02:45eight years old like I kicked my brother
01:02:46in the shin and I said it was someone
01:02:48else
01:02:49um but she looks at me she says uh well
01:02:51here's the deal
01:02:52the worst thing you've ever done
01:02:56doesn't Define you and the greatest
01:02:58thing you'll ever do that doesn't Define
01:03:01you either
01:03:02you don't get to Define yourself God
01:03:05defines you do you know who God is and
01:03:08for me I was used to putting on I call
01:03:11it the first date mask I don't know who
01:03:13I am but I'm going to become whoever you
01:03:15want me to be so I started regurgitating
01:03:18whatever I knew like cosmological
01:03:20argument like yes like blah blah blah
01:03:21blah blah and she asked me deeper
01:03:25questions that were simplistic but very
01:03:28foreign to me you know are you plugged
01:03:30into a community anywhere are you
01:03:32attending church regularly what's your
01:03:34relationship with Jesus like and I was
01:03:36like
01:03:38whatever you're talking about I don't
01:03:40think I got that and she's like well
01:03:42I've been a Christian since I was in
01:03:45seventh grade my family's Christian I'm
01:03:48not perfect by any means but my
01:03:50relationship with Jesus is the
01:03:51foundation in which I live my life
01:03:54so what kind of food do you like it's
01:03:56like
01:03:57what I just told you the truth and you
01:04:00didn't reject me I've been lying to
01:04:02people my whole life because I thought
01:04:04if anyone knew anything about me the
01:04:07person that his own father rejected yeah
01:04:10why would you want to know integral
01:04:13details about me
01:04:15and she was like yeah well you know what
01:04:16are what are some of your hopes dreams
01:04:18like what do you want to accomplish
01:04:20I didn't have any answers I didn't I
01:04:22didn't have the capacity to dream right
01:04:25and we just walk and talk and then the
01:04:27next weekend so this this was a
01:04:31um this is actually Easter eight years
01:04:33ago
01:04:34and then um this was the Easter you went
01:04:36on the walk oh man you know sometimes
01:04:40yeah symbolism's a little on the note
01:04:42yes yeah and uh and then the next week
01:04:46she invites me to church
01:04:48and I go and I'm sitting in this church
01:04:51and when I walk in uh there's this uh
01:04:55this wooden signage and it says we want
01:04:58to help people we want to love people
01:05:01where they are
01:05:02and encourage them to grow in their
01:05:04relationship with Jesus Christ
01:05:06I was like
01:05:08sounds good but if you knew anything
01:05:10about me
01:05:12no way
01:05:14um and then this pastor gets up and it's
01:05:17this guy that reminds me of my
01:05:18grandfather and like for me I the little
01:05:20bit of church that I had experienced was
01:05:23like very
01:05:25um Southern Baptist like like but not
01:05:28like in in no way good uh where all I
01:05:31remembered was if you had a wrinkle or
01:05:32in your shirt or a tattoo on your arm
01:05:34you're going to hell yeah that is the
01:05:36unforgivable sin yeah Wrinkle in your
01:05:37shirt yeah I mean that's that's that's
01:05:39what I remembered and yet this guy gets
01:05:41up here and he's you know dressed
01:05:44somewhat casually and then he starts
01:05:46talking about this dynamic between
01:05:48Jonathan and David and when David died
01:05:51he's talking he's talking about how
01:05:53historically the previous kingdom was
01:05:55completely wiped out because they didn't
01:05:57want the previous Kingdom to think they
01:05:58had any access to the New Kingdom and
01:06:01David was different he actually asked
01:06:03hey is there anyone left out of
01:06:05Jonathan's lineage in my fable Chef was
01:06:07still alive in my fellowship new history
01:06:10so he was expecting death
01:06:13and and instead David brought him into
01:06:16his kingdom and restored his land and
01:06:19then he he keeps talking he talks about
01:06:21well Romans 3 23 says that we've all
01:06:24sinned and fall short of the glory of
01:06:25God so who's guilty of sin everyone yeah
01:06:28and then Romans 6 23 says the wage of
01:06:30sin is death
01:06:32so each and every person because of
01:06:34their sin they're separated from a holy
01:06:36and perfect God there's a bridge that
01:06:37you need to get to God that you don't
01:06:39have access to because you're imperfect
01:06:41and he goes on to talk about how Jesus
01:06:44fully God fully man came into this world
01:06:46and lived a life that we could never
01:06:47live
01:06:48he bridged the Gap died on the cross
01:06:50paid for all sin for all time
01:06:52it's through faith in him it changes
01:06:54everything
01:06:56and and for me it what it did was it
01:07:00contended with how I saw myself and how
01:07:03I saw God
01:07:05because I was like there's no way that I
01:07:07could have access to God because I'm not
01:07:10good then wrestling with no one's good
01:07:14it's an amazing feeling Catholics have
01:07:17sacramental confession yeah where we go
01:07:19in and we confess our sins to Christ
01:07:20right and the priest is acting in in
01:07:23Persona Christie yeah and
01:07:28some weeks are worse than others yeah
01:07:30some weeks are a little lighter than
01:07:31others but what's amazing is even
01:07:34understanding all of that even
01:07:36understanding that we're all we all sin
01:07:37and Foster the glory of God even growing
01:07:39in sanctity even growing in virtue which
01:07:42can and does happen yeah when you're
01:07:45standing in line yeah to confess your
01:07:47sins it's that same feeling you're
01:07:48describing well no that thing that I did
01:07:51that's a bridge too far there's no way
01:07:53and then you go and you confess your
01:07:54sins in the priest says okay you know
01:07:56yeah Agate absolvo yeah you know okay
01:07:58three Hail Marys get out of here see you
01:08:00yeah a couple weeks and you can know it
01:08:04uh intellectually but you can still you
01:08:07still feel that somehow there's no that
01:08:09thing that I did there's no way yeah
01:08:11so for for me in that moment I I
01:08:15surrendered and submitted to the fact
01:08:17that
01:08:19I could not fix myself and there was a
01:08:21God that loved me so much that he sent
01:08:24his son into this world to suffer and
01:08:26die
01:08:27so that he could bridge the gap that I
01:08:28could never bridge and something
01:08:30happened in my heart for me I I
01:08:32surrendered my life and I and I let go
01:08:35of the burden that I've been carrying
01:08:37and the relationship with the father
01:08:39that I always desired
01:08:41I realized I had
01:08:44through Christ you know and so so that
01:08:48happened that week after
01:08:50and
01:08:51um so two things happened so number one
01:08:55um this this girl her name's hope and
01:08:58she's been you know her name's hope and
01:09:00she's been my wife for seven years oh
01:09:04man and we've got three kids and
01:09:07um the the other thing that happened was
01:09:08amazing so I I hear this and then I go
01:09:11into this church and I'm like hey uh can
01:09:14I share this with someone so I sit down
01:09:16with a pastor and I share with him my
01:09:17story and then he connects me to another
01:09:19pastor and this pastor is like okay I
01:09:22want to get a Bible in your hand here's
01:09:24how you read the Bible here's you know
01:09:26just a little bit of observation
01:09:27interpretation application like here's
01:09:29how you read the Bible in proper context
01:09:31and I just fall in love with the Bible
01:09:34and I just can't get enough of it I
01:09:36actually start asking off of work and
01:09:38I'm like giving away you know personal
01:09:40training clients and I'm spending 15 to
01:09:4220 hours a week with this man at this
01:09:44church and he's discipling me and I just
01:09:46fall in love with the Bible to the point
01:09:47where I end up going to Bible College I
01:09:49go to Liberty and you know study
01:09:51Christian Ministries and focus on
01:09:52biblical Theology and in the process I I
01:09:55start sharing my testimony
01:09:57and I I feel like okay in in the early
01:10:01stages as I'm not preaching I'm just
01:10:03sharing my testimony but as I'm up there
01:10:05it's like I felt this need to perform
01:10:09you know it's like for me like I was a
01:10:11theater guy before I was you know the
01:10:13porn guy and it was like for me you know
01:10:15I needed to emote emotion I need to you
01:10:17know I want people to cry I want people
01:10:19to laugh you know I wanted to create
01:10:20this experience for someone based on
01:10:23what I was you know portraying and I I
01:10:26wrote something you know I took my story
01:10:28and made it you know something that I
01:10:31wanted to present and I get up there and
01:10:35I just feel this anxiety and for me it
01:10:40you don't live the life that I've lived
01:10:42and yeah like you're pretty comfortable
01:10:45in your own right yeah yeah I mean just
01:10:47like there's nothing that I'm ever gonna
01:10:48do where I'm like I'm you know there's
01:10:50cameras there's lights there's a stage
01:10:51there's x amount of people whatever
01:10:54um but for me it's like I I love those
01:10:56situations actually but in this moment I
01:10:58felt so much anxiety
01:11:00and I couldn't put my finger on it and I
01:11:03felt this like man I gotta do a good job
01:11:05I've got to do a good job so that I will
01:11:08be liked and I'd reverted back to that
01:11:11mindset where like I had to prove myself
01:11:13I was still the kid that his father
01:11:16didn't want
01:11:18because sometimes you'll carry you know
01:11:22this
01:11:23um uh I forget the surgery but that
01:11:26yours you know if you have this Cataract
01:11:28and you have it removed if you have it
01:11:30for a long time even if it's removed and
01:11:32you completely see through the lens that
01:11:35your mind can trick you into believing
01:11:38that it is still your vision's still
01:11:39cloudy even though it's not
01:11:42so I've been walking with this emotional
01:11:44limp for so long that even though I had
01:11:47been freed from it I'd practice walking
01:11:49with it so much it's muscle memory sure
01:11:52right yeah and I step up to the I I step
01:11:55from the stage I was like from backstage
01:11:57to the podium but when I stepped onto
01:12:00the podium
01:12:01I just felt this like overwhelming sense
01:12:04where not audibly but like I heard in my
01:12:06mind in my spirit
01:12:08I love you
01:12:11son I love you
01:12:14and I and I was like okay I don't need
01:12:16to perform and I essentially I took what
01:12:20I wrote I turned it over and I spent
01:12:21five minutes
01:12:24sharing my testimony and I spent the
01:12:26rest of the time trying my best to walk
01:12:28people through
01:12:30what Romans have to say what the book of
01:12:32Romans has to say about salvation you
01:12:33know this is why in the traditional
01:12:35liturgy the
01:12:38it's chanted yeah one of the reasons for
01:12:41the chant people think it's it's to be
01:12:43really theatrical smells and bells you
01:12:45know the traditional Latin mess it's not
01:12:47it's it's really the opposite because
01:12:49when the gospel is chanted yeah
01:12:52the preacher yeah takes his personality
01:12:55out of it and it's just the word yeah
01:12:57he's pronouncing it in this way that is
01:12:59quite beautiful but it's it's without
01:13:01the you know and here's the moment when
01:13:04I'm gonna really put a lot of Gusto into
01:13:06it yeah I had a priest in New York very
01:13:08good friend of mine who said that some
01:13:10of these priests and preachers who make
01:13:13it a Big Show and a performance they
01:13:16they tell jokes like ham actors in a
01:13:18dying Vaudeville play yeah and what they
01:13:20ought to do is limit their repertoire to
01:13:22the jokes that Saint John told the
01:13:24Blessed motherweller son bled on the
01:13:25cross yeah it's a very intense way of
01:13:28saying it yeah but I think it's a good
01:13:29message you know yeah you're
01:13:31you're talking about
01:13:34the Son of God yeah God himself the
01:13:37second person of the Trinity comes down
01:13:39takes on flesh dwells Among Us suffers
01:13:41in his passion is crucified to redeem
01:13:44mankind it's not there for you to go do
01:13:46a soft shoe and Shuffle off to Buffalo
01:13:47right 100 and you're right and you feel
01:13:50this ease the moment that you actually
01:13:52get up there you say oh I don't need to
01:13:54I can take the tap shoes off yeah I mean
01:13:56100 I mean I I think there's much to be
01:13:58taken from and learned from Catholicism
01:14:01in in regards to Protestant like
01:14:03practice where like the Liturgy is
01:14:05beautiful and the story like history
01:14:06like church history is beautiful and I
01:14:09think
01:14:09um removing yourself from that it takes
01:14:12away from what it actually is well I
01:14:14love that just even your experience of
01:14:16it I'm glad that it didn't affect your
01:14:18uh testimony ultimately but even that
01:14:21feeling of
01:14:22your muscle memory yeah you know it
01:14:25in modernity we we think of virtue and
01:14:29vice as just oh I did this thing but it
01:14:31doesn't matter so okay I look at porn
01:14:33every single night and I go further and
01:14:35further into these kinds of fantasies
01:14:37but that's not going to affect my real
01:14:39life that's just a thing that I do at
01:14:41night but we're creatures of habit Vice
01:14:44and virtue are habits so yeah you just
01:14:46do something all the time yeah well just
01:14:49neurologically that the data says much
01:14:51different you know it's like I love
01:14:52there's a lot of data around
01:14:55um just like your your brain your heart
01:14:57in the way that you interact in the
01:14:59world and uh so like for example a few
01:15:02days ago on social media I just posted
01:15:04like a a 60-second clip of me saying is
01:15:08is masturbation sin yes and here and
01:15:12here's what masturbation is and here's
01:15:15what First Corinthians says about love
01:15:16compare and contrast the two and tell me
01:15:18where it lines up yeah you know
01:15:21um and it goes viral because you know
01:15:23some people are agreeing but most people
01:15:24are disagreeing and what happens is is
01:15:27when you're confronted with conviction
01:15:30yeah
01:15:31you don't like that you know and and I
01:15:34think as as someone who's a Believer
01:15:36there's a distinct difference between
01:15:38condemnation and conviction conviction
01:15:40is a healthy thing it comes from the
01:15:41Holy Spirit condemnation doesn't exist
01:15:43for the believer Romans 8 1 says there's
01:15:45therefore there's no condemnation for
01:15:46those who in Christ Jesus so wrestling
01:15:49with those two things but
01:15:51I don't have to necessarily surrender to
01:15:54my conviction yeah and if I separate
01:15:56myself from that conviction because I'm
01:15:58disconnected neurologically because I've
01:16:00done this thing enough where I've
01:16:02Justified it
01:16:03now it's not that big of a deal right
01:16:05and now I no longer feel convicted by it
01:16:07because
01:16:08anybody seriously believe it's not a sin
01:16:11does any I know plenty of people are
01:16:13going to say right it's not a sin it's
01:16:15fine it's healthy I don't you've got the
01:16:16New York Health Department saying it's
01:16:17good for you to you know do what Woody
01:16:20Allen euphemistically called sex with
01:16:22someone you love right but
01:16:24does it nobody Norm McDonald had a whole
01:16:26bid on this yeah where he was doing a
01:16:29show I think in San Francisco and Norm
01:16:30gets up he goes yeah sex is a filthy
01:16:32shameful disgusting thing that's
01:16:33obviously only meant for procreation and
01:16:35the audience is shocked by this he goes
01:16:37ah you know how like you have a
01:16:38one-night stand or you're gonna do it uh
01:16:40what's the first thing you do you you uh
01:16:41close the blinds yeah this is not the
01:16:44kind of thing you're doing for everybody
01:16:45to see so just any or people just you're
01:16:47kidding themselves right yeah oh for
01:16:49sure I mean it's just the reality that
01:16:51you're forming a relationship with a
01:16:54screen in your hand so not only is it it
01:16:57integrates selfishness it it dissipates
01:17:01your ability to execute self-control uh
01:17:04you you're becoming a poor lover like
01:17:07you're training yourself to finish
01:17:10quickly like it's it's contradictory to
01:17:14anything that is applicable to love or
01:17:17being a good spouse right there's no
01:17:19there's no positive thing about it
01:17:22unless you're saying well I just to give
01:17:25in to my desires give in to my flesh
01:17:27well Romans 12 1 says that we're a
01:17:29Living Sacrifice and we're to be in in
01:17:31Romans you know 12 2 goes on to talk
01:17:34about we're not to be conformed by the
01:17:35world but rather be we're to be
01:17:36transformed by renewing of our mind
01:17:38we're to go through this metamorphosis
01:17:39so that
01:17:42we can know what the perfect will of God
01:17:44is so we can appear in contrast right so
01:17:46if if I I can't understand what is
01:17:50reality and what is me giving into my
01:17:53flesh yeah if if I that becomes blurry
01:17:56then sure I'm gonna try to adjust it
01:17:58well that's the the traditional
01:17:59understanding of
01:18:01two Wills right you know the things I
01:18:03want to do I don't do the things I don't
01:18:04want to do yeah around the seven yeah so
01:18:06the the rational will is supposed to
01:18:09mediate between the perfect will of God
01:18:10and your fleshy right bodily repetitive
01:18:13will yeah and this was you didn't need a
01:18:16PhD in philosophy to understand this for
01:18:18most of history now nobody seems to know
01:18:20anything but but that was my feelings
01:18:23are my identity right yeah exactly and
01:18:25now people is what's propagated yes and
01:18:28so since we're talking about religion
01:18:30when you say that looking at porn and
01:18:32you know doing what people do when they
01:18:34look at porn yeah is giving yourself a
01:18:36relationship with your hand right and
01:18:39the Pamela Anderson or something and a
01:18:41screen as my college buddy I don't think
01:18:44he coined it but I did laugh when he
01:18:45mentioned that line uh and a screen
01:18:48though yeah is it darker than just the
01:18:51screen is it more spiritual than just
01:18:53the screen absolutely is it just demons
01:18:55are you just is it an is it a liturgical
01:18:57act of worship
01:18:58to Demons well I'm gonna put it really
01:19:00bluntly well if if if your objective
01:19:02when it comes to sex is to as a Believer
01:19:06if your objective is to be between a man
01:19:09and a wife and that to be a
01:19:11representation of Christ in his church
01:19:13like what place does that have and John
01:19:1710 10 talks about how how the enemy
01:19:19wants to kill still and Destroy well if
01:19:21if I can still the way that you see
01:19:24intimacy I can I can cause you to create
01:19:27an idol and all of a sudden this thing
01:19:30becomes an idol and I'm disillusioned
01:19:32into the fact to believe that this is
01:19:34something I need and it's a real
01:19:37addiction like neurologically like you
01:19:39will form an addiction something that
01:19:40you do over and over again that gives
01:19:42you a you know this dopamine hits your
01:19:44brain it makes you feel good
01:19:46those it yeah it makes you feel good but
01:19:48you're you're forming this artificial
01:19:50relationship with this fictitious
01:19:52reality right there's I guess my
01:19:54question though is
01:19:56is it it's a fictitious reality in that
01:19:58these performers are not really the
01:20:00characters that they portrayed not
01:20:01really their stage names but but I
01:20:03wonder in a deeper sense is it is it a
01:20:06real thing
01:20:08are you forming a an intimate
01:20:11relationship with the principalities and
01:20:13powers and spiritual wickedness in other
01:20:14places absolutely well I mean that
01:20:17that's what the enemy tried to do to
01:20:20Jesus if I can get you to to compromise
01:20:22your identity I can get you to
01:20:24compromise further
01:20:25it's like you know even even in the
01:20:28garden did did God really say that
01:20:31did he really say that right do you know
01:20:34providentially just today
01:20:36I mentioned something about Genesis on
01:20:39my Daily Show and someone wrote in and
01:20:41said well Michael the quote you said
01:20:43that's not the first thing that the
01:20:45serpent says in the garden actually the
01:20:46first thing is this question the step
01:20:49what is did hold on a second yeah did
01:20:51God really say did he really mean you
01:20:53were gonna die yeah it's not quite that
01:20:55yeah so to question that identity and
01:20:58then
01:21:00even now you see all these headlines
01:21:02about uh the sex worker writes and all
01:21:06especially all of the sexual Revolution
01:21:08LGBT stuff we're heading into the month
01:21:11of June which is now one of the 12
01:21:13months of the year dedicated to the the
01:21:15rainbow I think this pretty soon they're
01:21:16going to invent a 13th month to be
01:21:18another gay pride month so we're heading
01:21:20into June and you're seeing all these
01:21:22corporations begin to really push this
01:21:24stuff and I can't help but notice
01:21:27one of the guys I think it's actually a
01:21:29girl who identifies as a guy who who
01:21:31designed the pride clothing Pride the
01:21:34queen of all vices yeah right the
01:21:36deadliest of the seven deadly sins yeah
01:21:38well and in addition to that they use
01:21:41the rainbow which is a a symbolism of
01:21:44God's promise right did not destroy the
01:21:46world right one of the holiest symbols
01:21:48ever yeah now yeah the like one of the
01:21:51first covenants right and get and and a
01:21:53symbol given to us by God and and but
01:21:55one of the people who designed the
01:21:57clothing for Target is an overt Satanist
01:21:59and I can't help but notice whenever I
01:22:00see these viral Clips go around of some
01:22:04Pro sex work person or some Pro only
01:22:07Advanced person or some show for the
01:22:08porn industry will come out there's very
01:22:11often
01:22:12demonic devilish imagery that goes along
01:22:15with that horns and Tails and pitchforks
01:22:17well yeah Las Vegas is Sin City it's
01:22:19just
01:22:20how come it's always these same images
01:22:23and these same symbols all of which have
01:22:25been considered demonic and occult for
01:22:28thousands of years yeah even even you
01:22:30know it to even further it on like in
01:22:32the goat as well the goat yeah so the
01:22:35goat like the so I saw this on the
01:22:37target clothing yeah
01:22:39there was there was a guy who he had
01:22:42goat horns on his head yeah and then he
01:22:44had a goat thing on a head on his shirt
01:22:47which was some satanic thing right and
01:22:49you see it in the depiction of demon
01:22:51like Baphomet or somebody yeah does that
01:22:54feature into porn or no I I mean I would
01:22:57just point it yeah the fur like the Deep
01:23:00symbolism didn't points directly to evil
01:23:02but to your point yes it is is a direct
01:23:04correlation of evil but
01:23:07where you know where God is absent there
01:23:10is there is only evil yeah so I would
01:23:14say yes like to your points like it's a
01:23:16direct window into evil into demons into
01:23:20all these things
01:23:22um and that's why it's so dark and it
01:23:24leads to death and to to the person
01:23:27advocating for the porn industry saying
01:23:29well how else could this person you know
01:23:33provide for their family they had to do
01:23:35that this is their right who in their
01:23:38right mind
01:23:39wants to be a prostitute yeah like no
01:23:43one wants that yeah
01:23:44it's just a lie like but but no one
01:23:48wants that you you don't wake up yeah or
01:23:51you don't go to bed at night you lay
01:23:52down your head on a pillow and you think
01:23:54I'm so proud of myself because I'm
01:23:56selling myself for sex yeah you don't do
01:23:59that it's contradictory to the way that
01:24:02you're wired re it transcends belief
01:24:05yeah but but often when you push people
01:24:08on this
01:24:09you'll say well I have to be a stripper
01:24:11I have to be a prosecutor I have to be
01:24:13important or something like that you say
01:24:15well why can't you
01:24:16but work it in the service industry I've
01:24:18worked plenty of service industry jobs
01:24:20but I would go even further than that
01:24:22okay well here's what I would challenge
01:24:23there's something that happened to you
01:24:26that made you believe that you could not
01:24:29pursue the thing that you're passionate
01:24:30about and because you can't pursue the
01:24:32thing you're passionate about because
01:24:34the trauma yeah whether it happened to
01:24:36you or you did it you now Define
01:24:39yourself through the lens of that trauma
01:24:40and you see yourself as incapable of
01:24:42doing the thing that you want to do so
01:24:45there's nothing left for you to do
01:24:47but to compromise but but isn't there
01:24:49compromise is easy right but I I just
01:24:53mean since we all encounter the service
01:24:55industry throughout the day you go again
01:24:57yeah and you think okay
01:25:00many if not most of us have worked these
01:25:02jobs at some point yeah they're not the
01:25:04most technically difficult jobs pulling
01:25:05a good shot of espresso actually is kind
01:25:07of difficult but but still you can learn
01:25:09how to do it but very often what people
01:25:10will say is well
01:25:12but they can't make it as much money you
01:25:14can make more money per hour well yeah
01:25:17it's so cracked that's what I think like
01:25:19well okay you can make it you can make a
01:25:21decent enough living though like a you
01:25:24smuggle you know weapons or whatever you
01:25:26know there's there's a variety of things
01:25:29that you could do that you shouldn't do
01:25:30that you could make money right but just
01:25:32because you could doesn't mean you
01:25:34should right now right I just I could
01:25:35see all of those Temptations especially
01:25:37for people it's just so chilling to hear
01:25:39what that agent asked you the first
01:25:41thing hey tell me about your childhood
01:25:42yeah yeah it's almost broken home
01:25:45perfect oh absolutely you're looking for
01:25:47someone who you can manipulate based on
01:25:49the way that they see themselves
01:25:51because if you don't have a foundation
01:25:53to stand on you're gonna You're Gonna Be
01:25:56With the Wind yeah or you're going to go
01:25:58into whatever way that sounds good
01:26:00because you don't know who you are and
01:26:02you're looking to the world to conform
01:26:03you so how do we fix it I know it's a
01:26:07Fallen World people really ought to
01:26:08focus uh first on their relationship
01:26:10with God yeah and they want to you know
01:26:13work on sanctification and virtue and
01:26:16all the rest of that yeah that doesn't
01:26:18let the politics off the hook we live in
01:26:20public
01:26:21yeah we prosecuted pornographers for
01:26:24porn yeah for obscenity very recently
01:26:27during the Bush Administration Bush
01:26:29number two yeah there were pornographers
01:26:31who were sent to prison for for just not
01:26:34for child porn not for other just for
01:26:37smut yeah can we just do that why is it
01:26:40that an eight-year-old can log on to any
01:26:43of these porn sites and watch whatever
01:26:45they want yeah so I had the opportunity
01:26:47to speak at Capitol Hill and were
01:26:49advocating for the earned act so the
01:26:50earning act has three three different
01:26:53um pieces the most important piece would
01:26:57be creating a solidified way of
01:27:01verifying one's identity through a
01:27:04government-issued ID okay so that so
01:27:06actually uh Louisiana and two other
01:27:09states Utah and I forget the third have
01:27:11implemented this legislation even though
01:27:13it hasn't passed yet so you you have to
01:27:16be 18 and what what's crazy is like
01:27:19right now in other places you can just
01:27:21go to a site and make up a birthday or
01:27:25just click are you 18 sure
01:27:27and you can and it bypasses that I used
01:27:29to do that on Tobacco websites for
01:27:30cigars yeah January 1st 1902. okay
01:27:34that's my birthday yeah there's there's
01:27:35no barrier yeah um so so so advocating
01:27:38for that
01:27:40um incredibly helpful and just making
01:27:41people aware of like how it's impacting
01:27:44people like average age of exposure 11
01:27:46years old wow 84 of people who see porn
01:27:51under the age of 15 for the first time
01:27:53it's incidental exposure someone's
01:27:55looking for something on you know
01:27:57they're doing a biology project they
01:28:00scroll down one too many times and all
01:28:02of a sudden they see something as
01:28:03pornographic if if there's no barrier if
01:28:06there's no
01:28:08um you know if you don't have some kind
01:28:09of safety you know controls on your your
01:28:12smart device it's so easily accessible
01:28:15yeah because back in the day for me
01:28:17um you know it's like if you stayed up
01:28:19too late like skidamax and hbr you know
01:28:23but because of streaming and because of
01:28:25cell phones it's so easy accessible that
01:28:28you don't have to look for it's going to
01:28:30find you right right and to your point
01:28:31it's become so normative
01:28:34and then like only fans and so on and so
01:28:36on it's become so normative
01:28:38that's so prevalent that it's just out
01:28:41there for everyone
01:28:42and it's like when something becomes the
01:28:44norm it's like well
01:28:46that might be bad but it's just it's the
01:28:48way it is people are going to see it I
01:28:49also think even I mean we're talking
01:28:51about hardcore pornography industry
01:28:54preying on people yeah but
01:28:57I I was just back in Los Angeles you
01:29:00drive down Sunset Boulevard and look at
01:29:01just regular Billboards yeah pretty
01:29:04risque or you go on Instagram yeah and
01:29:08just regular con like of people you know
01:29:11maybe because I worked in La for a bit
01:29:14some of my old Pals from out there are a
01:29:16little more risque to begin with but
01:29:18you that kind of content the content and
01:29:20advertising it's all kind of
01:29:24Shades of Gray well yeah like you you
01:29:27look at the laws around advertisement
01:29:29they're from you know 10 15 years ago
01:29:32where porn wasn't so prevalent but to
01:29:35advertise on Twitter that that the the
01:29:38agent consents 13. so you can advertise
01:29:41whatever you want to 13 and up but
01:29:44no one foresaw right the fact that
01:29:46people will be advertising pornography
01:29:48but that industry to my point 100
01:29:51billion dollar industry yeah so there's
01:29:54that much money at stake so you're
01:29:56asking me to change that legislation
01:29:59right when it's making that much money
01:30:01right it's like even knowing it's
01:30:04contributing to rape culture is
01:30:06contributing to sex trafficking is
01:30:08contributing to it's insane so there's
01:30:11this person um her name's Heidi Olson
01:30:13she's a critical care nurse in Kansas
01:30:15City Missouri
01:30:1750 plus cases
01:30:19per year of a sibling raping
01:30:24their you know a little boy raping a
01:30:27little girl or a little boy raping his
01:30:29brother
01:30:30multiple cases it's it's it's this is
01:30:33happening in Kansas City Missouri 100 of
01:30:35the time that kid watched so much porn
01:30:39that he went and did that did the is I
01:30:42assume this is a spike in these numbers
01:30:45like I assume this is not a normal thing
01:30:47that nurses have been observing for
01:30:50unfortunately she sees it so much that
01:30:52that's all she does
01:30:53man
01:30:55so that's you know I had the opportunity
01:30:57to partner with nicosi so the National
01:31:00Coalition opposing sexual exploitation
01:31:02and Exodus Cry and we were at Capitol
01:31:05Hill advocating for that legislation we
01:31:08sat down with different you know state
01:31:09representatives and there's uh there was
01:31:11a a woman there and she was sharing her
01:31:14story where she was dating someone and
01:31:16then they went to Vegas and they while
01:31:19they're in Vegas this person actually
01:31:21drugs her and he rapes her and films it
01:31:24and then he has a few friends come and
01:31:27they rape her and they all film it and
01:31:29he puts this on PornHub and it stays on
01:31:31PornHub for two years it becomes very
01:31:33popular it becomes monetized eventually
01:31:37the person's identified it's taken down
01:31:39he gets arrested and charged yet the
01:31:43images still exist on Google and Google
01:31:45says there's no clear you know there's
01:31:48there's no Clarity regarding this
01:31:52person's Senators yeah there's no
01:31:53consent there's no there's no clear like
01:31:56you know around the whole consent thing
01:31:58there's no there's there's no clear sign
01:32:01of this person being objectified or
01:32:03raped or anything like that so they left
01:32:06the imagery up
01:32:09even with that even if the guy gets
01:32:13arrested right
01:32:14so so so that's the reality that we live
01:32:17in here too I mean this is a good
01:32:20framing of the issue because it's it'll
01:32:22probably resonate more
01:32:24you say well obviously it's about sexual
01:32:26crimes and sure breaking laws that are
01:32:29already in the books
01:32:30but isn't there also an argument
01:32:33that if you if 90 of men are looking at
01:32:37this stuff or have looked at it at some
01:32:39point pretty it's probably much higher
01:32:40than that yeah
01:32:42and this is a regular problem that is
01:32:45constantly degrading people's views of
01:32:46themselves views of other people you're
01:32:49uh communing with demons let's just call
01:32:51it what it is
01:32:53how do you have a good country if
01:32:57a hundred percent of men or thereabouts
01:33:00and a and a large number of women yeah
01:33:02are perpetually in a state of mortal sin
01:33:05yeah is isn't that a problem for the
01:33:07political Community to try to work on
01:33:09absolutely absolutely and I think that
01:33:11and what you're wrestling with is
01:33:14a tremendous amount of money money and
01:33:17power and power yeah and then and then
01:33:20also this false belief that I should be
01:33:23able to do what I whatever I feel like
01:33:25yeah right and then and then that's
01:33:28Freedom yeah Freedom porn is freedom
01:33:30isn't it what's crazy it from you know
01:33:32from a Christian perspective like
01:33:34Liberty is actually
01:33:36the choice to be able to say no to the
01:33:40things I ought not do right even when I
01:33:42want you to do that right even when I
01:33:44don't want to do that right that you
01:33:46know it's like Galatians like five you
01:33:47know 22 and 23 he talks about you know
01:33:49the last thing fruits of the spirit
01:33:50self-control yeah like self-control is
01:33:54evidence of the holy spirit that was the
01:33:56idea of liberal education and the
01:33:58liberal arts was to discipline yourself
01:34:00to be able to control your base
01:34:03appetites and desires right for a higher
01:34:05Freedom right because the freedom the
01:34:08freedom to shoot heroin or something
01:34:09yeah that's not Freedom nobody really
01:34:11thinks that's Freedom same goes for
01:34:12porns yeah you know if you told John
01:34:15Adams and George Washington Thomas
01:34:17Jefferson hey the freedom thing it's
01:34:19worked it's working out really great
01:34:21yeah we here in 2023 guys you can look
01:34:24at as much weirdo porn as you want and
01:34:28as young as 13. yeah I think they would
01:34:31they would say you know what
01:34:33this country
01:34:35forget about it let's forget about it we
01:34:37made a mistake let's go back that's
01:34:39obviously not what they thought freedom
01:34:41was yeah 100 yeah I mean in like to to
01:34:46even paint it like a darker picture it's
01:34:47like you uh there was a Netflix
01:34:49documentary that I was watching uh like
01:34:52a year or two ago and this person he was
01:34:55wrongly persecuted and he was in prison
01:34:57and now he had a show where he was
01:34:59traveling and just this is what this
01:35:01prison looks like this is what like the
01:35:04experience is this is you know the
01:35:06geographical location so on and so on
01:35:08and he was in this one prison and he
01:35:11found out that 84 percent of the guys
01:35:13there
01:35:14um this is a different country yeah but
01:35:1684 of the guys there they both they had
01:35:19been convicted of rape and it's like
01:35:21that's an astronomical amount so he he
01:35:24you know asked you know like 50 people
01:35:26or so like you know how did this happen
01:35:29why this happened and he kept getting
01:35:30the same answer in their culture men
01:35:33were more important than women and and
01:35:36sex was something that a man was owed
01:35:38pornography
01:35:40it portrays the same thing that you
01:35:42should be able to walk into a room yeah
01:35:44yeah
01:35:45and just have sex with someone yeah and
01:35:47then also you know in the 80th
01:35:49percentile like all pornography has some
01:35:52level of violence in it so now you're
01:35:54you're digesting something you're you're
01:35:57developing an appetite for when you
01:35:59develop an appetite for something that
01:36:01is not only opposite of what you were
01:36:04designed to desire it's actually
01:36:06contrary to what's reality but if you if
01:36:09you get this appetite for it you're
01:36:12gonna feel insatiable until you partake
01:36:15this is something that it's amazing how
01:36:19people have forgotten what taste and
01:36:22desire are and what they're like no
01:36:25child starts out with a hankering for
01:36:28Scotch right no 10 year old says I could
01:36:30really go for a scotch yeah Scotch is an
01:36:32acquired taste oysters are an acquired
01:36:35taste yeah caviar I don't know whatever
01:36:37these things are required
01:36:39tobacco probably and but then you
01:36:41acquire them and then you desire them
01:36:43and then sometimes once you acquire The
01:36:45Taste for Scotch you desired rum or
01:36:49tequila or something yeah
01:36:51did you see an interview with Andy
01:36:54Wachowski who's one of the guys behind
01:36:56the Matrix movies and he and his brother
01:36:57both became trans at a certain but kind
01:37:00of odd the guys who created The Matrix
01:37:02about this disconnect between reality
01:37:05and the virtual reality these guys both
01:37:07become trans and Andy Wachowski one of
01:37:09the brothers gives an interview and and
01:37:10he says oh yeah porn was what led me to
01:37:15my transgender identity I watched a
01:37:16bunch of porn and then I started
01:37:18identifying as trans and there were
01:37:21there were many such cases well Ted
01:37:23Bundy Ted Bundy was super into porn
01:37:25right well yeah very into porn and he
01:37:27actually said porn was the thing that
01:37:29led him to this thing and this thing and
01:37:30this thing and then I mean that's the
01:37:32way it is like you you know you at one
01:37:34point in my life I could drink one Bud
01:37:37Light and get a buzz you know and then
01:37:39you know you need more to just crack in
01:37:43a crystal meth or something yeah like
01:37:44you you go on this trajectory where I
01:37:46need more of this thing to get this
01:37:49feeling that I had well I think of
01:37:51probably a caricature of what risque
01:37:54material was like in the 19th century
01:37:56which is you know a woman that big
01:37:57frilly dressed oh I'm going to show a
01:38:00little bit of my ankle or something and
01:38:02and but obviously the way that these
01:38:04base or appetites work you're never
01:38:06satisfied so so when you say okay
01:38:08increasingly
01:38:10porn is violent and people are consuming
01:38:13more violent porn obviously this is
01:38:15cultivating certain tastes and desires
01:38:17and so if an eight-year-old or whatever
01:38:20a ten-year-old gets hooked on to porn
01:38:22it's not that he's going to immediately
01:38:24start looking at weird transsexual billy
01:38:27goat porn but it's going to be that he
01:38:29looks more yeah he's going to look at a
01:38:31naked lady it's like he's going to look
01:38:33at a Playboy or something and then it's
01:38:35going to be this harder thing and this
01:38:36harder thing and then pretty it gets
01:38:38pretty dark yeah
01:38:40pretty quick just judging by the
01:38:42statistics yeah I mean well even like
01:38:44psychologically you see
01:38:45um I think it was at the 80s uh there
01:38:48was someone who won a Nobel Prize around
01:38:49this research
01:38:50um is his last name was Tim Bergen and
01:38:53he did this research around supernormal
01:38:55stimulus and he uh studied a a level of
01:38:58uh so he said he studied this butterfly
01:39:01and there was a species of butterfly
01:39:04where he created a female butterfly and
01:39:07but he made brighter better you know 3D
01:39:11and put this butterfly into space in the
01:39:14male butterflies tried to mate with this
01:39:16butterfly and obviously didn't work but
01:39:19then the byproduct of that was they
01:39:21started ignoring the female butterflies
01:39:23and then they started fighting among
01:39:25each other and then they started dying
01:39:27out and it's a really you know it's a
01:39:29great correlation to what porn is
01:39:31because if you're Desiring something
01:39:33that's a fictitious reality you're going
01:39:37to become insatiable for it and you're
01:39:39seeing men then you know struggling with
01:39:42erectile dysfunction you're seeing
01:39:44people you know being unfaithful to
01:39:46their spouse you're seeing all these
01:39:48things because there's a disconnect from
01:39:49what is real in contrast to what is fake
01:39:52like the like the movie Inception you
01:39:54know there's this fight in this elevator
01:39:55scene it's one of my favorite movies and
01:39:58you you don't see that and you think man
01:40:01they just you know one day they must
01:40:03have just you know gotten that elevator
01:40:04and and threw that together no there was
01:40:06there was choreography there were CGI
01:40:08there was editing there was there's all
01:40:10this stuff that went into there there
01:40:11were actors they were paid to be there
01:40:13there was a director
01:40:14like pornography is the same thing
01:40:16you're creating a fantasy that doesn't
01:40:18exist that's that's creating the
01:40:20experience but if you ex if you believe
01:40:23that experience to be true and then you
01:40:25develop a does a desire or a taste for
01:40:28it you go to seek it out
01:40:30and you can't find it you're gonna be
01:40:33you're gonna end up doing things that
01:40:34you never thought you would do because
01:40:36it's even
01:40:38not just the surreality of the porn film
01:40:44sure it's the surreality of
01:40:47the consumer yeah where you say as
01:40:50you're describing well no that that's
01:40:53just compartmentalized over here that
01:40:55thing that I'm doing you know on my
01:40:57computer on my phone that's not really
01:40:58me right that's just like a thing I
01:41:00that's a different guy yeah he probably
01:41:02has a different name yeah that has a
01:41:04note but we're human beings we're
01:41:06integrated beings so obviously you can't
01:41:09just compartmentalize that yeah and so
01:41:11that is going to affect your
01:41:13marriage that's going to affect your
01:41:14relationships it's going to affect your
01:41:16your desires and and even the moral
01:41:19reality okay I'm only only Joshua is
01:41:22morally culpable right but stage name
01:41:25guy yeah there's no consequences it's
01:41:28not real life yeah and I think even more
01:41:30so that you're seeing these people
01:41:31develop you know the these appetites
01:41:34watching pornography and they end up
01:41:36with someone you know they they get
01:41:38married number one believing the lie
01:41:41that if I get married my porn addiction
01:41:42will go away it doesn't and now I have
01:41:46these these appetites for these things
01:41:49that I've developed you know a desire
01:41:51for yeah and maybe my wife isn't
01:41:53fulfilling them and now I'm going to
01:41:55bring these presuppositions about what
01:41:57sex is supposed to be into my marriage
01:41:59bed and then if they don't meet my
01:42:01desire I'm going to continue watching
01:42:03porn or I'm going to go outside of the
01:42:05the marriage because I believe I need
01:42:09this thing to be satisfied where God
01:42:11never intended mayor marriage to be
01:42:14about sex it's a great part of marriage
01:42:17but marriage in itself is not only about
01:42:21sex right and but it's certainly not
01:42:23about steriles sure but it's like it's
01:42:25about well because like it's it's again
01:42:27it's like it's idolatry if I make sex
01:42:30god I'm gonna do any any and everything
01:42:33in my power to submit and surrender to
01:42:35the God of Sex right right but even the
01:42:37idea that porn is without consequence
01:42:40you know what people view sex is without
01:42:42consequence but of course marriage
01:42:44traditionally understood is
01:42:46intended for the good of the spouses and
01:42:48for the sake of the generation and
01:42:49education of children yeah that it's a
01:42:52real love a love that is so real that it
01:42:54actually becomes in fleshed in this real
01:42:57new person yeah who and hopefully many
01:43:00new people who you know are a result of
01:43:02that love yeah
01:43:04we divorce all even our popular culture
01:43:06yeah we live in a very contraceptive
01:43:08culture yeah well yes well and also it's
01:43:10just there's there's a there's a huge
01:43:12difference between love and lust yeah I
01:43:15think they're so different they're not
01:43:16similar they're polar opposite yeah one
01:43:19selfish one selfless yes you know one's
01:43:23very sacrificial and one cost you
01:43:25something and one's easy and it's and
01:43:27you you're compromised right and what's
01:43:29about me one's about self-control one's
01:43:32about giving in to myself right I mean
01:43:34the one of the traditional definitions
01:43:36of Love Is that love is to will the good
01:43:38of the other person yeah for their own
01:43:41sake yeah not from and so obviously
01:43:43that's the opposite but
01:43:46I just I I was talking with a friend of
01:43:48mine
01:43:49I think there was some headline about
01:43:51how in Japan people want to look at porn
01:43:52more than they want to date or have sex
01:43:55yeah and my friend said that's insane
01:43:58could you imagine you got you got an
01:44:00opportunity to sleep with a woman or to
01:44:01look at porn could you imagine someone
01:44:03choosing porn yeah I said I totally can
01:44:06understand that well yeah you I mean
01:44:08speaking in that culture you go into a
01:44:10place where you don't even have to
01:44:11interact with a human person to get food
01:44:14I mean we're living in a culture where
01:44:15people don't want to pick up a phone and
01:44:17call somebody it's only text or we want
01:44:19to talk to a screen we don't want any
01:44:21people have so much Social Anxiety I
01:44:24said in that culture yeah of course
01:44:26the the porn is requires no effort is
01:44:30never going to judge you there's no
01:44:33rejection there's no rejection and the
01:44:35porn can be whatever stuff you type in
01:44:37you're gonna have like three furries and
01:44:39an alien and I don't know whatever and
01:44:41gosh like speaking of that I I was
01:44:44speaking of first I was I was at uh a
01:44:47conference yeah um so it's called think
01:44:49media and it's a Christian Conference
01:44:51and bring in different speakers about
01:44:53different topics and the objective is
01:44:55for you to be able to think critically
01:44:57about you know things that are going on
01:44:59in culture and be able to speak into
01:45:00them as Christian leaders and uh there
01:45:04was this person just talking about the
01:45:05just the insane stuff going on inside of
01:45:08schools and uh I I
01:45:11I did not know this but in Washington
01:45:14state there is multiple schools that
01:45:17have rooms with
01:45:20kitty litter in them for people who
01:45:23identify as furries to urinate this
01:45:26can't be real this is real I this Camp I
01:45:28refuse to believe that this is real this
01:45:31is real
01:45:32so there's there's there tax dollars
01:45:35have gone to building rooms that have
01:45:38kitty litter in them there's litter
01:45:41boxes that you know adolescents go into
01:45:44and urinating and the teachers will get
01:45:47penalized you know that they'll they'll
01:45:49you know their their jobs are on the
01:45:51line for them to communicate with them
01:45:54based on who how they identify though I
01:45:57prefer to just
01:46:00reject the possibility that this could
01:46:02even be real in another sense I I feel
01:46:06better about that than I do about some
01:46:07guy going into the girls room if a guy
01:46:09thinks he's a cat and he wants to go to
01:46:11a litter box yeah
01:46:12at least he's not invading a woman's
01:46:14private space you know it's not exactly
01:46:16uh ordered living yeah probably not
01:46:19conducive to human flourishing right
01:46:20well like even like more detrimental
01:46:23than that there's legislation in
01:46:25Washington State trying to be passed
01:46:27where 13 and up you could say I I want
01:46:30to change my gender and then they then
01:46:35you know they they contact government
01:46:37Authority and without any consent or
01:46:41knowledge of the parents they saw the
01:46:43child and then they mutilate them or
01:46:46provide them with whatever procedure or
01:46:47medication
01:46:49using tax dollars to do so
01:46:51and the parents have no say so about the
01:46:54matter I saw a headline in the
01:46:56Associated Press which has become very
01:46:58left-wing used to used to pretend to at
01:47:00least be down the middle now it's a very
01:47:01left-wing activist news outlet and the
01:47:04headline said something to the effect of
01:47:06Washington state protects trans kids
01:47:10from parents
01:47:12thought
01:47:13who's doing the protecting and right
01:47:17what does that protection look like yeah
01:47:20that's pretty dark it's I mean for me
01:47:22it's just incredibly sad to to be at a
01:47:25place you know I'm I'm a father of of
01:47:27three very young boys so four three and
01:47:30one and
01:47:33um
01:47:35how can that be
01:47:37how in what place do we get where adults
01:47:41are allowing kids to tell them
01:47:45they feel some sort of way that's been
01:47:47propagated to them like through a person
01:47:50or you know an organization or whatever
01:47:53where have they heard it yeah because
01:47:55this is not a thought that enters
01:47:56someone's mind normally
01:48:00um
01:48:01how do I get to a point where we're
01:48:03allowing kids at 13 years old that can't
01:48:06vote can't see a rated R movie
01:48:09um can't you know do it's number like
01:48:12numerous things
01:48:13decide they can make a decision that's
01:48:16going to change their life well so the
01:48:17answer how do we get to that point is in
01:48:19part because of Perpetual ubiquitous
01:48:21degrading sin yeah so then having come
01:48:25full circle and you've come out of it
01:48:27and more than full circle and yeah
01:48:28you're in a much better place now do you
01:48:30ever have contact with
01:48:32the people from the foreign industry
01:48:34from your old life do you ever reach
01:48:36back out to them do you ever
01:48:38say like hey guys is a better option
01:48:40yeah
01:48:42um so for me uh so I got to the place
01:48:45that I got to in life through you know
01:48:48number one you know have a relationship
01:48:50with God
01:48:52um developing uh an understanding of the
01:48:56Bible and allowing it to conform my life
01:48:59in contrast to the world conforming uh
01:49:03me or my feelings or my past or my
01:49:05feelings and as I go on that journey I
01:49:07go to counseling as well and um and part
01:49:10of that was I had to kind of dismantle
01:49:13and destroy everything that I thought to
01:49:15be true yeah and it early on like me
01:49:18becoming you know a Christian I was like
01:49:21I'm Gonna Save the World you know and so
01:49:23I would I reached back out to those
01:49:25people and I started you know
01:49:27interacting with them on social media
01:49:28and like talking with them and what I
01:49:31found was I still had a lot of trauma
01:49:35that I was carrying and it was actually
01:49:37unhealthy for me yeah to to see the
01:49:40things they were posting and and you
01:49:42know even though I was able to
01:49:43acknowledge that this is not something
01:49:45that I would ever want to be part of
01:49:46again or and then it you know that was
01:49:49bad but it was impacting me negatively
01:49:52so I had a distance myself from them but
01:49:55to your point
01:49:56I I didn't continue reaching out but
01:49:59what they saw
01:50:00and many people have saw is
01:50:04I wanted to take my life because I
01:50:07thought I would never
01:50:10be a father
01:50:12I would never get married I thought like
01:50:14sure I could convince a girl to marry me
01:50:16like sure I could get a girl pregnant
01:50:17but I would never have the capacity to
01:50:19be a father
01:50:20I've never had the capacity to be a
01:50:22husband I think most guys no matter how
01:50:24well adjusted you are you think that's a
01:50:27lot of responsibility yeah but I I think
01:50:28pretty much every man who has become a
01:50:31father sure says that especially someone
01:50:33who's got this fairly colorful and
01:50:36dramatic past yeah it's going to feel
01:50:37that especially yeah and then in in
01:50:39addition to I thought okay for me if if
01:50:42I'm not leading something or being
01:50:45creative it's like detrimental to me
01:50:48emotionally like I need to be able to be
01:50:51creative in a way that impacts people
01:50:53and I thought well there's no way that
01:50:55I'll be able to do that like there no
01:50:58one's hiring me for like any kind of
01:51:00acting job that's legitimate I'm not
01:51:03doing any kind of modeling probably just
01:51:04not healthy for me to do so what
01:51:07organization is going to take me
01:51:08seriously like who am I going to
01:51:09contribute to in any capacity like all
01:51:12so I I wanted to take my life because I
01:51:14thought there's things like any anything
01:51:17that I long for regarding a future I
01:51:20didn't think were possible
01:51:21so for me I you know I I lead a very
01:51:25healthy organization I I do itinerant
01:51:28work you know I'm about to plan a church
01:51:30I've written a book I have a healthy
01:51:33family
01:51:34um I I love my kids I lead my family
01:51:37well
01:51:38I'm doing everything I thought that
01:51:40wasn't possible so when people see yeah
01:51:42like it's not about my success or the
01:51:45fact that you know I have this influence
01:51:47or whatever like that's whatever I'm
01:51:50living this healthy life and I'm full of
01:51:53joy because I have these things in my
01:51:55life that I didn't think possible and
01:51:57you're there's no you're prudent in that
01:52:00I read a book a staple of spiritual
01:52:04combat cold spiritual combat by Lorenzo
01:52:07scoopally it's like 500 years old and in
01:52:09it he talks about the impulse to face
01:52:13Temptation head on and I can overcome it
01:52:15and for certain Temptations
01:52:18you can and for certain temptations that
01:52:21can be helpful for really taken on head
01:52:22on he says sexual Temptation yeah not
01:52:26one of them yeah run you've got to run
01:52:29from that yeah not stick around so if
01:52:32you're following these porn Affiliated
01:52:35people and you're seeing that yeah
01:52:38yeah it's probably going to do more harm
01:52:40than good you know you've got to be wise
01:52:41as a serpent innocent as a dove yeah so
01:52:43for me
01:52:44um I had people in my life to say here's
01:52:47how I'm feeling this is what I'm going
01:52:48through this is what I'm doing it's not
01:52:50a good idea because uh what what I
01:52:52didn't have in my life is people to both
01:52:55encourage me and correct me because we
01:53:00need we need to be called up
01:53:02you know and called out sometimes yeah
01:53:04so for me I didn't have that so I have
01:53:06anything in my life and saying hey this
01:53:07is what I'm doing hey
01:53:09Joshua that's not a good idea I don't
01:53:12think you're in a place where this is
01:53:13healthy but you know eight years later
01:53:15living the life I'm living now there's
01:53:17people that are in that industry that
01:53:19have one foot in one foot out or maybe
01:53:21have left the industry are reaching out
01:53:23to me saying
01:53:25um I actually left or I actually did
01:53:28this because
01:53:29I see what you're doing
01:53:31and it's not you know there's no promise
01:53:33of a wife or a husband there's no
01:53:36promise of of of whatever there's no
01:53:39promise of that for anybody yeah I mean
01:53:41that's that's the thing is people think
01:53:43well you know because I've made these
01:53:44three choices I can't have a wife or
01:53:46husband now some people don't get
01:53:48married some some people if they do get
01:53:49married can't have children yeah that's
01:53:51life it's a fallen world it's a tough
01:53:53place it doesn't need to make or break
01:53:54your your
01:53:56sanctification yeah one in the in the
01:53:58beautiful thing about that so Joy is not
01:54:01something that's circumstantial yeah
01:54:03right Joy is something you can't obtain
01:54:05on your own it's a gift that's offered
01:54:07to you to be received
01:54:10and it comes through a relationship with
01:54:12Jesus yeah so
01:54:14um for me I get to share that story it's
01:54:17like how did you get from A to B I was
01:54:19like well there's there's one answer and
01:54:22he's a person he has a name his name is
01:54:24Jesus but for me it was it was Jesus you
01:54:29know so where again there's so many
01:54:31aspects of like I'm sure that we would
01:54:34differ in in certain things regarding
01:54:37theology but what I love is the
01:54:40commitment to like we would differ in
01:54:42that you know what what sanctification
01:54:45looks like you know in a moment in
01:54:47contrast to it being Progressive and you
01:54:50would say it's in a moment right okay
01:54:53um topic for another time yeah yeah sure
01:54:54sure yeah yeah so I mean just like you
01:54:56know you got you you've got salvation
01:54:59sanctification justification and what
01:55:01those things look like but Salvation is
01:55:04Progressive in that you are
01:55:06progressively being changed yeah yeah so
01:55:10progressively there's this journey that
01:55:13you go on and as you're going on that
01:55:15Journey like you have to take steps of
01:55:18faith and those steps have to be away
01:55:21from like second Corinthians 5 17 is
01:55:23real for the life of a Believer the the
01:55:26person that you used to be is dead
01:55:30and now you have a new identity a new
01:55:32heart a new purpose but you have to move
01:55:35towards that purpose yeah right because
01:55:37you still have free will yeah you have
01:55:39the free will to to reject God's grace
01:55:41yeah to go back right I mean and so for
01:55:45me it's like oh step by step these are
01:55:48the steps that I took but it started
01:55:50with this one Catalyst that is
01:55:52irreplaceable there's this one piece of
01:55:54the puzzle yeah that you can't replace
01:55:57but these steps along the way and people
01:55:59are seeing that and they're responding
01:56:01to the fact it's like it's not that you
01:56:04know you have this or you have that
01:56:06is you've got this joy that
01:56:10I didn't think I could ever have and you
01:56:13believe that this uh inarticulable
01:56:15undeniable joy that lives within you
01:56:17yeah yeah but it's like like I want that
01:56:21but the fact that you have it
01:56:24yeah it it's intriguing enough to me to
01:56:28ask the question it reminds me of a line
01:56:29from C.S Lewis when he said when you're
01:56:32a kid
01:56:33you think chocolate is the greatest
01:56:34thing you cannot imagine anything
01:56:37greater than chocolate yeah if someone
01:56:38came up to you these days I guess this
01:56:40would happen in a kindergarten classroom
01:56:42but someone comes up to you and says hey
01:56:43you ever hear about sex
01:56:44and you're a kid you say I don't know I
01:56:46don't know what sex is yeah a guy says
01:56:48well you know sex is great it's better
01:56:50than chocolate yeah and if you're a kid
01:56:52you have to think well I guess sex
01:56:55involves chocolate because chocolate is
01:56:57the best thing so whatever is better
01:56:59it's got to involve chocolate yeah and
01:57:00you don't realize there's something
01:57:01better and unfortunately in our culture
01:57:04that's kind of where people stop sure it
01:57:06would seem a lot today it's about okay
01:57:07no you're right sex is better than
01:57:09chocolate and sex is the best thing but
01:57:10there is
01:57:12an even better thing yeah there are many
01:57:14better things and there's an ultimately
01:57:15a highest good yeah which is which is
01:57:18what your desire is supposed to yeah and
01:57:20it's like and I love that you know so
01:57:23because like suicidal ideation is is
01:57:26part of my story it's like there's a
01:57:28project that I'm working on where
01:57:30there's these you know this organization
01:57:32called stay here and there are
01:57:34organizations around that you know you
01:57:36know every 40 seconds someone dies of
01:57:39suicide
01:57:40so
01:57:42we've we've we did one project where you
01:57:45would appreciate this we we just took a
01:57:47bunch of different Christian
01:57:48um influencers and we just read through
01:57:50the Apostles Creed and we read through
01:57:53the Apostle screen that was it and but
01:57:54it was not one person it was many people
01:57:56it wasn't you know one organization it
01:57:58was many organizations many people one
01:58:00message one unified message a reflection
01:58:02of John 17. yeah this unified message
01:58:05when people see you know when the world
01:58:07sees us you'll see a reflection of
01:58:09Christ so
01:58:11um we did that and then our next project
01:58:13is we're working with NFL quarterbacks
01:58:15so we've got like 15 Super Bowl winner
01:58:18Super Bowl winners like multiple like
01:58:20Hall of Famers and we're doing this
01:58:22video and they're just simply saying
01:58:25stay here
01:58:26your life matters yeah you're loved
01:58:28because
01:58:30that's what I that's what I didn't think
01:58:32I didn't think that I was loved I didn't
01:58:35think that I mattered and just seeing
01:58:38that God is allowing me to be just a
01:58:42small part in projects like that and and
01:58:44do some of the things I'm doing and live
01:58:46the life that I'm living
01:58:48um
01:58:50you know I I wake up every day and it's
01:58:52like a dream you know I have friends
01:58:56who got to your point where they were
01:58:59just about to do it
01:59:01and I have friends who did it I have
01:59:04multiple friends who did it yeah
01:59:07and
01:59:09you think what that's that thin
01:59:12line that moment because it'd be one
01:59:15thing if if you just knew a lot of
01:59:16people not a lot but some number of
01:59:18people who came up to the brink and then
01:59:20they pulled back and you said okay well
01:59:22maybe that's just a feature of suicidal
01:59:24ideation as you get up to a point and
01:59:25then you go no further yeah but knowing
01:59:28you know more people than I do who
01:59:29killed themselves you know no people go
01:59:31over that line yeah that's that's a real
01:59:33cliff and people fall off it all the
01:59:36time yeah and you got up that close yeah
01:59:40and then
01:59:41a bank teller said my name
01:59:45and what's Wild so that my my friend
01:59:48Jacob who who's the CEO and founder of
01:59:51that organization stay here he he says
01:59:54simply
01:59:56the it's the easiest uh it's it's the
02:00:00easiest
02:00:02um thing that you could ever you know
02:00:04just dealing with suicide it's much
02:00:07easier than you would think in that the
02:00:09person just needs to be asked hey are
02:00:12you thinking about taking your life
02:00:15and more often than not research says
02:00:18they'll say yes
02:00:20and then once they say it
02:00:24it becomes real
02:00:25and then you can have a conversation
02:00:27[Music]
02:00:29like the guy the guy who jumps off a
02:00:32building anyone who survives that says
02:00:34instantly they're regrettable well in
02:00:35the air like many times I I forget I
02:00:38think someone jumped off the like the
02:00:40the Golden Gate Bridge the Golden Gate
02:00:42Bridge or whatever which how they lived
02:00:44I'm not sure but he's like literally the
02:00:47second you did it
02:00:49it's like
02:00:50God help me you know yeah right right
02:00:52and and so just to even put that out
02:00:55there I mean
02:00:56getting back to I guess the top point of
02:00:58the yeah
02:00:59conversation the the power of a word and
02:01:02the power of a name yeah to identify
02:01:05things and distinguish between them I
02:01:06mean so much of the political
02:01:10political correctness or this kind of
02:01:12agenda that seems so destructive is
02:01:15about
02:01:16calling things by fake names yeah in
02:01:20order to manipulate how people view
02:01:22themselves yeah and I love like in
02:01:24Hebrew I mean my name means Yahweh is
02:01:27salvation
02:01:29of course yeah and then so our our first
02:01:32son uh we named him Cannon so canon in
02:01:35Hebrew means measuring stick so for me
02:01:37never thought I'd be a father so he was
02:01:39the measure of God's grace to me and my
02:01:41wife
02:01:41[Music]
02:01:44can't beat that as a place to end Joshua
02:01:48pleasure to have you yeah absolutely
02:01:49thanks for coming on yeah thank you
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FAQs about This YouTube Video

1. What are the negative effects of the porn industry discussed in the video?

The video discusses the negative effects of the porn industry, including the objectification of performers, the commodification of personal information, and the degradation of relationships.

2. How does the porn industry objectify performers?

The porn industry objectifies performers by reducing them to mere objects of desire, focusing solely on their physical appearance and sexual acts, without regard for their personal identity or well-being.

3. What is the impact of the commodification of personal information in the porn industry?

The commodification of personal information in the porn industry leads to the exploitation of performers' private lives, exposing intimate details for profit, and compromising their privacy and security.

4. How does the porn industry contribute to the degradation of relationships?

The porn industry contributes to the degradation of relationships by promoting unrealistic expectations of intimacy, fostering addiction and desensitization, and undermining trust and emotional connection.

5. How does the porn industry influence children to make life-altering decisions?

The porn industry influences children by exposing them to explicit content, shaping their perceptions of sex and relationships, and potentially influencing their decisions with long-lasting consequences.

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