Monica
💫 Summary
This video discusses the concept of having a crush and whether it is considered haram (forbidden) in Islam. The speaker explains that having a crush is a natural feeling that is often experienced by young people, but acting on it can lead to unhealthy obsessions. It is advised to educate children about crushes and the importance of focusing on marriage when ready.
✨ Highlights📊 Transcript
Having a crush is a temporary and intense feeling towards someone, often unlikely to be with, but it can lead to obsession and dangerous areas both emotionally and mentally.
00:00
Children as young as 11 or 12 years old are asking about having a crush.
The media is flooded with topics on sexuality, influencing young children.
A crush can be on a celebrity, religious or non-religious figure, or someone at school.
Having a crush can lead to obsession and dangerous behavior.
Having a crush can lead to obsession, with people behaving differently and even stalking the person they have a crush on.
02:13
People may follow the person they have a crush on and look at their social media pages.
Some individuals may wait outside school or deliberately take certain transportation to be near their crush.
Having a crush can lead to obsession, causing people to stop eating, drinking, and sleeping.
Having a crush is a natural feeling, especially among young people, but it can be dangerous if taken too far.
It is important for parents to educate their children about crushes, as they are temporary and can lead to heartbreak.
04:29
Parents should define and explain what a crush is to their children.
Crushes typically last for a few weeks to four months.
If someone is not ready for marriage or mature enough, acting on a crush can lead to negative consequences.
Parents should start discussing topics like sexuality, love, and relationships with their children from a young age.
It is advised to let your children hear cheesy pickup lines from you so that they become immune to them and do not fall for them from others.
06:44
A father uses cheap pickup lines on his daughter as a way to normalize them and make her immune to them.
The daughter becomes accustomed to the pickup lines and is able to recognize them when used by others.
This helps protect the daughter from falling for flattery and being preyed upon by others.
It is important to seek advice from older people rather than relying on friends of the same age.
08:59
Friends of the same age can only provide emotional support, while older family members or teachers can offer better guidance.
Arabic distinguishes between different types of friends, with "rafik" being the type that can only be leaned on for emotional support.
Having someone older and invested in your well-being, such as a parent or sibling, can provide better guidance and support.
00:00foreign
00:05[Music]
00:09children
00:12as young as 11 12 years old 13 years old
00:16because of social media
00:18they hear these statements all the time
00:21and unfortunately the media now is
00:25flooded with topics on sexuality
00:28from a very very young age so I get
00:31these questions asked and I'm sure you
00:32as parents will as well
00:34she says or they say to me what is a
00:37crush I have a crush on so and so kids
00:41as young as grade one say I have a crush
00:43on so and so
00:45and today I even got asked by some young
00:48girls at the school very quite young
00:51maybe 10 11 12 years old what is a crush
00:54is it Halal to have a crush so let's
00:56first of all understand what is a crush
00:57in the English language in the western
00:59Society what does it mean so if you look
01:01up the dictionary anything the Oxford or
01:04the Miriam Webster or you look up the
01:06Cambridge or the
01:09uh any any kind of English dictionary
01:12and you'll find a similar meaning which
01:14means a crush is a strong and intense
01:17feeling
01:20which makes you think that you like
01:22someone but it is temporary
01:25and usually you like someone who you
01:28know is highly unlikely you will ever be
01:31with
01:33this thing called The Crush
01:36can take you into seriously dangerous
01:40areas from an Islamic perspective and
01:43from an emotional mental perspective
01:44people with crushes can get obsessed
01:47with their crush it can sometimes be a
01:49celebrity
01:51religious or non-religious it can be
01:53someone at school because they got
01:55interested
01:57in what they see on social media let's
01:59say particular hairstyle or a particular
02:01look and they go to school and they see
02:03that boy or that girl who looks like
02:05that person they saw on social media and
02:07they find that he or she is my crush
02:10sometimes they have some interests that
02:13they find that maybe they have the same
02:15as them and then they say I've got a
02:16crush
02:17this thing can be obsessive and a person
02:20can turn into a stalker they can follow
02:22that person look at their social media
02:24page they can every time they're around
02:27they act different they act weird some
02:29of them they if they come on the tram or
02:31by transport they'll probably go and
02:33deliberately wait outside the school
02:35probably unsupervised and then wait for
02:38the particular tram particular
02:39Transportation where they know that
02:41crush is going to be on or they'll wait
02:43out school and wag or they'll do a lot
02:45of things that really makes them
02:47misbehave just for their crush it can
02:51lead you to Obsession they can stop
02:52eating they can stop drinking they can
02:54stop sleeping if they get too much and
02:55follow this desire of a crush so
02:58brothers and sisters it is a dangerous
02:59thing Crush means it would truly will
03:01crush you if you follow that desire
03:04however brothers and sisters please
03:06understand me having a crush is just
03:08another name of this natural feeling
03:10that especially young people the younger
03:13you are the more you'll have this the
03:15older you are the less likely because
03:17you understand stand life and you have
03:19more experience in understanding people
03:21emotions and relationships and you focus
03:24on what really matters you start to
03:26understand life better but when you're
03:27younger you have a fantasy you have this
03:29imagination that goes through your head
03:31and it makes you feel good when you have
03:33a crush it gives you those special
03:35tingly they call it butterfly feelings
03:38in your stomach okay I'm even sure that
03:40some older people have felt that when
03:42they got engaged and they had some
03:43interest it's very normal so these girls
03:45asked me
03:46boys don't usually talk about it but
03:48they even have crushes they just don't
03:50know what to call it girls are very
03:52smart with wordings so they know what
03:53they're saying and they Masha Allah they
03:55ask these questions so having a crush is
03:58sometimes out of your control it's just
04:00a feeling that comes to you the
04:02community your friends talk to you what
04:04you see on social media affects you and
04:06so you feel oh I like that boy I like
04:08that girl
04:09so that feeling if it's out of your
04:11control it just came to you it's not a
04:13sin it's not Haram but acting on it
04:16becomes Haram acting on it so if you
04:18follow that feeling of crush because
04:20it's kind of a romantic thing right I
04:22like that boy I like that girl
04:23romantically and I think it's called
04:25love but it's not love right and
04:28especially if they're very young they're
04:29not ready for marriage they don't know
04:30what marriage is they don't know what
04:32relationships are so they're exploring
04:35uh we gotta educate them for parents to
04:38sit with their daughters and their sons
04:40to tell them what is a crush Define it
04:42to them tell them why it's not good to
04:45follow in that feeling in Islam because
04:48it's going to make you it's going to
04:49break your heart it's going to hurt your
04:52feelings it's not real it's a fantasy
04:55right it's just something that doesn't
04:58really exist
05:00and what happens is that it lasts for
05:02about few weeks to two months some
05:05people even to four months these girls
05:07said how long does it last I said six
05:09months just in case and inshallah it
05:11does it does go away
05:13so these are if you do feel something
05:16like that brother and sisters I always
05:18advise my brothers and sisters this
05:20are you ready for marriage can you get
05:23married can you go and start the process
05:26and you know meet the family and ask for
05:31her hand and it doesn't have to be
05:33marriage straight away but can you get
05:34engaged are you ready to meet people to
05:36get married are you old enough are you
05:38mature enough
05:40if all the answers are no then know that
05:43all you're doing is that you're
05:44torturing yourself if you follow the
05:47feelings of liking or having a crush
05:50okay it'll go away and you will move on
05:54but don't act on it because it can lead
05:56you to bad places I have had these
05:58experiences with young people past and
06:01present I've been teaching for about
06:02what 16 17 years and I do a bit of
06:05counseling student counseling so these
06:07students do come to me Muslims and you
06:09always have this story all the time
06:11brothers and sisters and I think parents
06:13should really start to learn about this
06:15terminologies and talk to their children
06:17about and I dare to say the word
06:19sexuality love liking relationships from
06:21a young age talk to them about puberty
06:24from the age of nine or ten even eight
06:26for the girls especially because they
06:28reach puberty before boys talk about
06:30these topics and let it be a normal
06:32topic that you as parents can talk with
06:34your children children talk with your
06:36parents talk about your experiences how
06:38did you meet their mum how did you meet
06:40their dad
06:41but you know within reason
06:44let them talk to you rather than talking
06:46to someone else I know a brother who I
06:48learned this from he says I say to my
06:50daughter all the time she is an angel I
06:53even joke with her with cheap lines like
06:56did it hurt when you fell from heaven
06:58because you're an angel these cheap
07:00pickup lines he says them to his
07:01daughters his daughter says come on dad
07:03that's you know you don't say stuff like
07:05that but you became normalized to it so
07:07that he said to me because I know some
07:09other boys are going to come and use
07:10cheap lines to pick her up so I'm going
07:12to beat them to it and whenever they say
07:14it she says oh my dad says those to me
07:16my brother says that to me so everyone's
07:19sisters get that used to it so that she
07:20doesn't she doesn't fall for the praise
07:23who just want to pray on her do you
07:25understand what I'm saying okay brothers
07:27and sisters so I'm going to move on from
07:29the word from this thing called Crush
07:32and by the way love love really comes
07:35after you've met somebody and you've
07:37lived together for a while marriage
07:39doesn't necessarily have to have intense
07:41love from the beginning
07:42marriage can build the love or can crush
07:45the love later on it depends on how you
07:46build it how you are there for each
07:48other as a man said to honorable I like
07:51this person I trust him he says did you
07:53travel with him did you uh stay at his
07:56house have you done any business trade
07:57with him he said no he said then you
07:59don't know him don't say you just like
08:00him you just like what you see or what
08:02you can imagine he is
08:04so really in marriage you get to know
08:06each other more and you just learn about
08:09the important things that you need to
08:11know for a marriage
08:13and understand that when you marry
08:15someone you're bringing two families
08:17together you're sometimes you're
08:19bringing tribes together
08:21tribes some people Lebanese Turkish
08:24Somalian marrying Asian whatever Islam
08:27allows all these types of marriages and
08:29makes no distinctions so long as you are
08:30compatible and you're good for each
08:32other
08:33we bring countries together through
08:35marriage it's not just you and him or
08:38you and her it's not Hollywood where you
08:40both hold hands and walk out into the
08:42sunset as if the whole world doesn't
08:44exist you have families together so talk
08:48to older people talk to wise people talk
08:51to your parents there's nothing wrong
08:52with saying to mum what's a crush I have
08:55a crush on this boy let her talk to you
08:57let Dad talk to you it's all right talk
08:59to older people so they can guide you
09:01and not just your little friends who are
09:03around you because in Arabic the friend
09:05that you have at school or the friend
09:07that you have who's your same age the
09:09only thing they can really do for you is
09:11just to lean on them to hug them and cry
09:13or just to talk and they say oh I'm here
09:15but really they can't do much they can't
09:18advise you more than what you know a 13
09:20year old girl getting advice from
09:21another 13 year old girl what's she
09:23gonna know she only knows what she knows
09:25but getting advice from a mother or an
09:27aunt who is older or some or a teacher
09:30or anybody else who's older like an
09:31older sister who can advise you or a
09:33brother or a father these people can
09:35advise you and can guide you in a better
09:37way so always good to have a friend or a
09:40family member who's older than you you
09:41can take advice from a friend who is at
09:45school who is your age is called rafik
09:46in Arabic Rafiq means the elbow mirfak
09:51comes from mirafak because Arabic is so
09:53particular with names and there are
09:55eight different types of friends
09:57mentioned in the Quran one of them is
09:58rafik and rafik is an elbow which means
10:02you can only lean on them just share
10:04your emotions with them and that's about
10:06it
10:06but they can't really solve much for you
10:09okay so you need a Welly awali means
10:12someone older who is responsible for you
10:14who's invested in you like your father
10:16your uncle your brother if you have a
10:19son for example
10:20your mother all these who are invested
10:23in you that what happens to you will
10:24affect them these people
10:27can guide you better
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FAQs about This YouTube Video

1. Is having a crush haram in Islam?

Having a crush is not considered haram (forbidden) in Islam. It is a natural feeling that many young people experience. However, acting on it in a way that goes against Islamic teachings can lead to unhealthy obsessions and sinful behavior.

2. How can one deal with having a crush in Islam?

In Islam, it is important to acknowledge the feelings of having a crush but to also understand the boundaries and guidelines set by the religion. It is advised to focus on education, marriage, and channeling these feelings in a way that aligns with Islamic principles.

3. What is the significance of educating children about crushes in Islam?

Educating children about crushes in Islam is important as it helps them understand their feelings and emotions within the framework of the religion. It provides guidance on how to navigate these emotions in a halal (permissible) manner and prepares them for marriage in the future.

4. How can unhealthy obsessions related to crushes be avoided in Islam?

Unhealthy obsessions related to crushes can be avoided in Islam by focusing on personal development, seeking guidance from religious scholars, and understanding the importance of maintaining purity in thoughts and actions. It is important to seek help and support when experiencing overwhelming emotions.

5. What role does marriage play in addressing feelings of having a crush in Islam?

In Islam, marriage is highly encouraged as a means to address feelings of having a crush. It allows individuals to channel their emotions in a halal way and fulfill their natural desires within the boundaries of the religion. Marriage is seen as a vital step in addressing these feelings in a permissible manner.

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