Monica
💫 Summary
The video discusses the significance of body count in modern dating, exploring societal and evolutionary perspectives as well as personal accountability and standards. It highlights the impact of high body counts on relationships, emphasizing the importance of boundaries and self-respect, and encourages self-reflection and healing to avoid seeking validation through sex.
✨ Highlights📊 Transcript
The speaker discusses the importance of body count in modern dating and how it is influenced by societal factors.
00:00
The speaker explains that body count is a topic frequently asked about on social media.
She mentions that she has her own personal opinion on why body count matters.
The speaker acknowledges the root cause of society's obsession with validation and dopamine.
She shares her initial confusion about the term "body count" and how she learned about it through a podcast.
The speaker discusses the importance of body count in modern dating and emphasizes the need for personal boundaries and accountability.
02:38
Lack of accountability for actions is a problem in modern dating.
Both men and women complain about being used by their partners.
Having a high body count requires understanding the reasons behind it and the standards of the relationships involved.
The speaker highlights the difference between casual hookups and building meaningful relationships.
Instant sexual gratification is causing confusion and higher body counts in modern dating.
05:19
People are having sex before having conversations about their upbringing or issues.
Both men and women are confused about pacing the relationship.
Higher body count implies that the person is not special.
Trauma from childhood might be affecting people's ability to separate emotional connection from one-night stands.
Women should not underestimate the importance of body count to men, as it is deeply ingrained in our evolutionary instincts.
08:00
Men are attracted to women with a low body count due to animalistic instincts.
Women who sleep around may be perceived as untrustworthy by men.
Engaging in casual sex comes with consequences and potential risks.
Employers may research and judge individuals based on their online presence, including activities like OnlyFans.
A high body count in men can make women question their ability to commit and have boundaries.
10:38
Men can separate themselves emotionally from casual encounters, but women struggle to do so due to intense chemical bonds.
Women may view a man with a high body count or a history of cheating as lacking boundaries and self-control.
Trusting a man with a high body count to remain faithful can be challenging for women.
The speaker believes that body count matters in dating, as having a high number of sexual partners can lead to insecurity, turmoil, and potential health risks in the future.
13:20
Women who are secure with themselves are not okay with men who cheat or have multiple families.
Having a high body count can lead to a lifetime of insecurity, jealousy, and drama.
It is important to have self-control and self-respect for one's body and consider the potential consequences in the future.
Women with a high body count may have underlying issues such as daddy issues or trauma and are seeking validation through sex.
00:00so first off I want to share with you
00:01that this is not coming from a place of
00:03judgment I'm going to explain to you
00:05from a societal level an evolutionary
00:07level and lastly from a perspective of
00:09personal accountability and standards
00:11why body count matters the reason why I
00:14wanted to do a video on this is because
00:15every day I read comments on social
00:17media people are asking me my mail
00:19audience wants to know Sarah what is
00:20your take on this and I like to think
00:22I'm a fairly logical person I've done a
00:25lot of growth a lot of self-reflection I
00:27coach people read books upon books and I
00:30also have my very own personal opinion
00:32on why this matters and why it's an
00:34important topic from years of therapy
00:36that I did myself there's a few nuanced
00:39things here that I don't think a lot of
00:40people are talking about like the root
00:42cause versus just the symptom of a
00:45degenerate Society hooked on validation
00:47and dopamine
00:49but I digress before I get into this a
00:52bit make sure you hit that like button
00:53for the algorithm
00:55I started this channel off with posting
00:57shorts and it's grown amazingly well but
01:00I'd like to start getting more of my
01:01long-form content to you all so thank
01:03you for your subscription it does matter
01:05to YouTube so I appreciate it so when I
01:08got on YouTube about a year ago to be
01:10honest I had no idea what body count
01:13even was I'd never heard the term I'm
01:16like wait are people referring to like
01:19serial killers what does that even mean
01:20then I saw something on fresh and fit
01:23and whatever podcast shorts clipped on
01:25YouTube with ladies saying that they had
01:27slept with 40 50 even hundreds of men by
01:30the time they were 25.
01:32and then it occurred to me that I was
01:34clearly out of touch with modern dating
01:36or what was actually going on out there
01:38and boy did I get an education
01:42all right so the sexual Revolution
01:43obviously had a lot to do with this
01:45because in the 1970s only two percent of
01:48women had more than 10 partners because
01:50while pregnancy was kind of a and
01:54now fast forward to 2010 the latest
01:56survey 18 of women have 10 Partners or
01:58more now the survey stopped in 2013 but
02:02I would be horrified of what those
02:04numbers are now just to be honest
02:07growing up with four older brothers
02:09might give you a glimpse into what my
02:11teenage would look like if I wore a
02:13skirt that was too short I would
02:15literally not be allowed to go out both
02:17I don't know I grew up Catholic uh like
02:19the burning of my soul in Hell or the
02:22STDs or the fact that I could get
02:23pregnant with the wrong person
02:25just kind of scared the crap out of me
02:27what is so confusing about this
02:29generation is that women are almost
02:31sleeping with guys to get back at them
02:34like ha a patriarchy can't hold me down
02:38let's romp it's like such a weird
02:40dynamic because
02:42then they go clamoring to these like
02:45weird Instagram accounts that validate
02:46their pain and tell them that they are
02:48just being used by narcissists well
02:53maybe we should have better boundaries
02:54in the first place it's the lack of
02:57accountability for your actions
03:00that just doesn't seem to mean anything
03:02anymore and yes this is happening on the
03:05male side as well I see boys complaining
03:07all the time in my comments about
03:09getting used by these same women and are
03:12surprised that the whole thing turned
03:14into a hot boiling mess
03:16or there's no traditional women but dude
03:19stop chasing after the girl who's got a
03:21hot Instagram profile with a bunch of
03:23thirst traps on there and then expecting
03:25her to be any different I want to talk
03:27about why body count matters not only
03:30from a personal boundaries perspective
03:33you know from a male and female
03:35perspective and also what it says about
03:38you potentially as a partner in order to
03:42have a high body count
03:44one must first peel back the layers of
03:48how they got there in the first place
03:50what led them to that and what are the
03:54standards of the relationship that they
03:56were looking for and what is the process
03:59behind getting a higher body count so
04:01typically when you meet someone right
04:03there is a getting to know you phase
04:06there is a particular type of
04:09relationship that you're going for you
04:11go out on a couple dates you exchange
04:14personal information
04:16you begin to build a relationship based
04:19on you know different values different
04:22common interests different goals
04:25I would say this is what a lot of people
04:28do and
04:31it's here nor there like if you want a
04:33relationship that's typically what the
04:36process is when you're sleeping with
04:39someone and you don't know them very
04:40well right it's all about this dopamine
04:45it's all about a drug it's all about
04:47getting this kind of self-serving I'm
04:50gonna get my pleasure I don't care what
04:52the consequences are you know
04:54potentially could get an STD that could
04:57end up in my 30s and that could
04:58potentially hurt my partner in the long
05:01run that I want or I'm going to start in
05:03only fans because I need money now for
05:05college to pay this off I don't have
05:07time to work at Walmart that isn't going
05:10to be enough sex
05:11used to mean something sex used to be
05:15the most intimate personal act that you
05:19embarked on with another human being and
05:23now I feel like the generation isn't
05:25able to even have a conversation about
05:28their upbringing or about their mommy or
05:31daddy issues before they get in the sack
05:35because they're trying to get this
05:37instant
05:39sexual gratification they're trying to
05:41get someone to like them or they're
05:43trying to move the relationship along
05:45faster than it naturally would people
05:49are having you know taking birth control
05:51and it's causing I think that
05:53repercussions that we don't even know
05:56the full consequence of I don't
05:58necessarily blame either party I think
06:02that there is confusion I think that if
06:05men have access to sex because they
06:07don't get as attached as women do
06:09they're basically gonna take what they
06:12can get right we as women have a bit of
06:15a more responsibility to pacing the
06:19relationship to creating that space
06:22allowing the man to show you know
06:26courtship and bring gifts or you know
06:30show up in a way that is as a gentleman
06:33before he got sexual access but now
06:36that's not the case
06:38so it's worrisome to me because if you
06:43don't have boundaries
06:46if you have a higher body count whether
06:49you are a man or a woman what it's
06:52ultimately saying to me
06:55is that I'm really not that special
06:58either that if you're willing to give
07:00yourself to
07:02this person or that person or this
07:04person or that person
07:06then what is it about me that's going to
07:11be different from all of those
07:13experiences and you can say it's some
07:17type of an emotional connection you can
07:18say like oh well you know like we had
07:21this or we had that you know so that's
07:23just a one-night stand or I didn't have
07:25feel an emotional connection with them
07:27that's so different I don't necessarily
07:29think that people can really distance
07:32the two without having some sort of
07:34Trauma from their childhood that they
07:38are kind of dealing with
07:40and and again no judgment I know couples
07:44that are swingers and or you know people
07:47are in polyamorous relationships
07:50I don't take advice from those people
07:52because personally that is not my
07:54preference
07:55but I think overall the bigger problem
07:58is that we have to be asking ourselves
08:00what is this telling our partner what is
08:03the greater meaning of this I think as
08:05women we are fools and are playing dumb
08:11if we don't think that this should
08:13matter to men this is basic Evolution
08:16just as a woman is attracted to a tall
08:20man they've done many studies on this as
08:22far as women's Tendencies to swipe on
08:24men who are over six feet on the dating
08:26apps there are things that are so
08:29embedded within our little animal brains
08:32that we just can't deny so I think it's
08:36very foolish for us women to think that
08:40body count doesn't matter to men or it's
08:42our right to be able to sleep with
08:44whoever we want it is 100 your right to
08:47sleep with whoever you want is 100 your
08:49right to have and only fans it is your
08:53right to do whatever you want but like I
08:55told a girl on a podcast the other day
08:57if you choose to do only fans in college
09:00and if you're getting a degree you can't
09:02expect your employer not to go and
09:06research you and when they find that the
09:08consequence of that is that they
09:10potentially might not employ you so
09:12you're free to do whatever you want but
09:15life does not come without consequence
09:18and the consequence of sleeping with a
09:21bunch of people
09:22is
09:24vast
09:25and comes with a lot of risk my fear is
09:30that you know
09:32I had four older brothers and they would
09:36always kind of school me on locker room
09:38talk right like they would always kind
09:41of tell me the truth and it was hard to
09:43hear sometimes but I listened I was
09:48um very conservative when it came to
09:51you know what I would allow someone to
09:55do what I would allow from a
09:58relationship perspective I would not
10:00have one-night stands because my
10:03brother's educated me on the fact that
10:05when women sleep around a bunch there is
10:10something animalistic in a man's brain
10:12that says I cannot trust her she either
10:15goes in this box or this box the wifey
10:19box or the hoe box
10:21and I'm just being really honest you
10:24know I'm a little older than a lot of
10:25people here on YouTube so we just call
10:27it like what it is
10:29and I think that it is very naive of us
10:33women to think that we can just do
10:36whatever we want
10:38without there being any consequences so
10:42a man is not necessarily going to take
10:44you seriously if you have slept with a
10:47bunch of guys and that is just
10:50a fact that is just something that we
10:53have to reconcile as women
10:56and Men that's your right you have every
10:59right to that I and I think as a woman
11:02although I don't think it's as big of a
11:05deal because men have the ability to
11:07separate themselves when it comes to
11:10emotional connection not all men but a
11:13lot of men can just kind of put it in
11:15boxes right they can kind of sleep with
11:17a woman and not get too serious but a
11:19woman's chemicals man they override
11:22those oxytocin bonds are so intense that
11:27it is very hard for us to separate the
11:29two so I don't know as a woman I think
11:32it is for me when I am assessing a man
11:36who has a very high body count or let's
11:39say he's cheated it's kind of the same
11:41feeling that women get like if he's a
11:44cheater always a cheater and with women
11:46it's kind of I think guys think of it as
11:48well if she's a hoe like she's always
11:52going to be a hoe
11:54just this is just basic you guys I can't
11:56believe I'm having to explain this but
11:58it's just basic I see a man who also has
12:01the propensity to cheat or has a high
12:03body count as somebody who lacks
12:06boundaries someone who doesn't have the
12:09ability to say no
12:11to their instant gratification it it's
12:14like the same thing as a man or a woman
12:17walking by a donut shop and it's like I
12:19have to go in I don't have the
12:21self-control I don't have the ability to
12:24say you know what
12:25let me think about this maybe this is
12:28not going to be good for me and so when
12:30I think about a man having a high body
12:31count it's like I want to trust that man
12:34to be able to go on a business trip to
12:37honor the monogamy that we have that I'm
12:40not going to be up all night worrying
12:42about whether he's going to get another
12:44girl pregnant or whether he's going to
12:46be out
12:47you know trying to get it on and destroy
12:51the trust that we had in the
12:53relationship so I think that we both
12:54need to look at this
12:56fully aware of the consequences and I
13:00know that there's a lot of men that will
13:02fight me on this as far as you know in
13:04the manosphere they say that it doesn't
13:06matter as much but to a healthy woman to
13:08a woman who is very secure in her
13:11attachment who has done a lot of work on
13:13her own trauma it is 100 going to matter
13:17to her because she's she's not going to
13:20want to invest in you knowing especially
13:25that you could cheat that's a whole
13:27other discussion but women who are very
13:31secure with themselves are not okay with
13:33men like the Justin mallers of the world
13:35cheating on them or having multiple
13:37different families like that is not
13:39something that we really want to sign up
13:40for and if a woman does sign up for that
13:44she is signing up for a lifetime of
13:46insecurity and turmoil jealousy Sister
13:50Wives drama it hasn't worked out well in
13:54past and in past societies but
13:57you know again who am I to judge that is
14:00your life and not for me to comment on
14:02so I guess the answer to the question is
14:04that yes
14:06yes it matters
14:08yes body count matters so to all the
14:10women who are watching this who are
14:12younger to all the men who are watching
14:13this that are younger have some
14:15self-control
14:17have some self-respect for you and your
14:20body and potentially think about your
14:23partner 10 years from now five years
14:25from now would you want to have the
14:27conversation with them that you have an
14:29incurable you know STI or STD
14:32and it could prevent you from being with
14:34a man of your dreams
14:36or the woman of your dreams
14:39that's a heavy heavy burden to bear and
14:42I have many clients I have many friends
14:44many very close friends that have had to
14:48have that conversation with a partner
14:50and they've lost that partner
14:52and it is
14:54it's not a fun time for them so I hate
14:56to sound like an older sister here
14:58but I do
15:00and I'm just gonna say it
15:03a woman that typically has a high body
15:04count has some daddy issues has some
15:07trauma
15:08she's looking for love she's looking for
15:10belonging she is looking
15:12for validation through sex and there are
15:16so many other ways to get that ladies
15:18you do not need
15:20to get validation through sex I promise
15:22you
15:23there's so much healing on the other
15:25side of that but you have to first
15:28recognize that
15:31it is a problem just doing my part to
15:34share the wisdom share the things that
15:38I've learned and hopefully make an
15:41impact because I don't want to see you
15:44make mistakes it's our job as an older
15:46generation
15:48to impart our wisdom onto you that's
15:50what the elders do
15:52so
15:53if you like this kind of content
15:55subscribe to my channel and I'll see you
15:58on the next one
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FAQs about This YouTube Video

1. Why is body count significant in modern dating?

The significance of body count in modern dating can be attributed to its impact on individual relationships, personal accountability, and self-respect. It reflects societal and evolutionary perspectives and highlights the importance of setting boundaries and standards.

2. What are the societal and evolutionary perspectives on body count in dating?

Societal and evolutionary perspectives on body count in dating reveal the influence of cultural norms and biological instincts. It explores the implications of high body counts on relationships and emphasizes the need for self-reflection and healing to avoid seeking validation through sex.

3. How does a high body count impact relationships?

A high body count can impact relationships by affecting trust, emotional intimacy, and individual self-esteem. It may lead to challenges in establishing meaningful connections and can raise concerns about compatibility and long-term commitment.

4. Why is setting boundaries and maintaining self-respect crucial in modern dating?

Setting boundaries and maintaining self-respect is crucial in modern dating to ensure healthy and fulfilling relationships. It empowers individuals to prioritize their well-being, respect their values, and uphold standards that align with their personal growth and happiness.

5. How can individuals avoid seeking validation through sex in modern dating?

Individuals can avoid seeking validation through sex in modern dating by engaging in self-reflection, pursuing personal healing, and prioritizing emotional connection and mutual respect in relationships. This approach supports the development of genuine and meaningful connections.

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