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💫 Summary
Tiktoker Emily King explains why she's not married, discussing both logistical and emotional reasons, including her past marriage, divorce, financial stress, and the shift in her perspective on marriage. She shares her belief that rushing into marriage should be avoided and emphasizes the importance of making the decision when it feels right, taking into account personal beliefs and circumstances.
✨ Highlights📊 Transcript
TikToker Emily King explains the reasons why she's not married.
00:00
She acknowledges the common question she's been asked since announcing her pregnancy.
Emily discusses that the answer to why she's not married is complex, with both logistical and emotional aspects.
She mentions that life is not always simple and straightforward, especially when it comes to marriage and starting a family.
Emily hints that she was previously married, as mentioned in her last video.
Emily King talks about her divorce and the timing of its finalization, as well as the importance of having all children present at her wedding.
02:41
Separated from her ex-husband in 2019.
Divorce was not finalized until 2022.
Her current boyfriend got divorced in 2019 and finalized it quickly.
Emphasizes the importance of having all children present at their wedding.
TikToker Emily King discusses how her perspective on marriage shifted after her divorce.
05:26
She believed that marriage was for life and that tough times should be worked through.
Her whole idea of marriage was shattered when she went through a separation.
She held her marriage on a pedestal and judged others who had been divorced.
Emily initiated the divorce process, but her ex initiated the separation.
She felt scared during the divorce as she was the breadwinner and had to take care of the house and children.
The speaker discusses her experience as the breadwinner and the financial stress she faced due to potential child support payments.
08:10
She was the primary caregiver for her children due to being laid off work and concerns for her son's health.
There was a possibility of having to pay child support to her ex, which would have put her house at risk.
She empathizes with men who struggle to afford the required child support payments, especially when they have 50/50 custody.
The speaker discusses her cynicism towards marriage due to the financial risks associated with divorce, but also emphasizes the importance of marriage from a religious perspective.
10:54
Divorce puts individuals at financial risk, as the state can dictate how much the ex-spouse receives.
The speaker feels cynical about signing a contract with the government but also values the religious significance of marriage.
She believes that the cynicism and religious beliefs will eventually align, leading to the right time for marriage.
The speaker hints at the possibility of discussing a planned pregnancy in another video.
00:00hey guys welcome back to my YouTube
00:02channel I am so grateful for all of the
00:05love that I've been getting from you
00:07guys ever since my last video in which I
00:09announced my pregnancy I really
00:11appreciate it and so I wanted to spend
00:13some time today to put out another
00:15YouTube video
00:16just explaining more in personal detail
00:20a very common question I've been getting
00:23ever since announcing my pregnancy and
00:26that question is why am I not married uh
00:31I had to actually like sit down I'm like
00:32why am I not married how do I answer
00:35this
00:36complex very complex answer to what
00:41seems to be like a simple question right
00:44because I think that
00:45especially if you guys are in your 20s
00:48and it's like you just don't have hate
00:50referring to this as baggage but you
00:54don't have history
00:55it's easy like life is very simple and
00:59um
01:00you wonder why like somebody at my age
01:03or anybody that is like pregnant
01:05starting a family like why aren't you
01:07married like it just seems like a very
01:09simple progression to make and to get
01:12there well things are not always that
01:15simple so uh when I really sat down to
01:18think about it that I feel like there's
01:19two different answers there's like very
01:22logistical answers and then there's like
01:25the
01:26emotional
01:28um side of things as well and it's kind
01:31of both like I'm like well which one's
01:32the truth and I almost was going to be
01:34like well the emotional piece is the
01:36truth because if you really want
01:37something to happen you're going to make
01:39it happen
01:40um but that's not really how life Works
01:43uh there is like a very logical way in
01:47which we make decisions as well as
01:50emotional reasons why and I think you
01:53guys will probably really understand the
01:54logical because I feel like men really
01:56understand the aspect more than the
01:58emotional piece but let's let's dive in
02:01let's start with the logical part of
02:03this is because I was married I told you
02:06guys that in my last video for those of
02:09you who didn't know I was married for 12
02:11years
02:12to who had been my high school
02:15sweetheart so we were actually together
02:16for like 17 years so dated for like five
02:21and then got married I was very young I
02:23was 21 years old
02:25um I thought I knew it all and was a
02:29hopeless romantic I would still consider
02:31myself a hopeless romantic but I
02:34definitely was when I was 21 and just
02:38did not have a full understanding of
02:41what life entails and what growth and
02:44changes really occur especially through
02:47your 20s I was separated from my now
02:51ex-husband in 2019 which really when you
02:54think about it wasn't all that much time
02:57ago
02:59um in 2020 like late 2020 is when I met
03:04my now boyfriend and we've been together
03:07since
03:08and I though this is the embarrassing
03:11part oh gosh
03:13you know like some people will get their
03:15divorces done super quick and I can have
03:19like a whole list of reasons why my
03:21divorce was not done quickly but uh the
03:25gist of it is that it was not done
03:27quickly it was not finalized until
03:302022
03:32um yeah guys it was finalized like a
03:35year ago so
03:38that is a very logistical issue you
03:42cannot be legally married while you are
03:45still legally married
03:47um so
03:48that's I mean that's part of it I guess
03:51if you want to argue but
03:53um again we'll get to the emotional
03:54pieces and I think that things in my
03:57life have just kind of fallen in place
03:59the way that they're supposed to
04:01so uh the man that I'm with he has also
04:06he's also divorced he actually got
04:07divorced the same year as me in 2019 but
04:09he finalized his divorce within like two
04:13or three months it was ridiculously fast
04:15and so he was legally divorced before
04:19like months and months months before we
04:21even met
04:23um but it doesn't mean that like uh the
04:26custody stuff so he has a daughter so
04:29that was not like really finalized it
04:32was kind of like pushed off in their
04:34divorce settlement I would say and he is
04:38uh still to this day working that out
04:42and something that's very important to
04:45me is that when I get married when we
04:50get married I for sure want all of our
04:54children to be there you know mine that
04:57I shared with my ex and then his that he
04:59shared with his ex I feel like it's
05:01super important for the dynamic to be
05:06um set and for there not to be like
05:08stressed surrounding that and for it to
05:10be a really wonderful beautiful
05:12experience and that is all I'll say on
05:15that I don't want to get into depth
05:17because I feel like that is more detail
05:20about him and what's going on on his
05:23side and that's not for me to share
05:25so
05:26let's let's get into the emotional sides
05:30of things
05:31um
05:32all right this is I think that
05:36anyone that's been divorced will
05:37understand this I think especially
05:41especially when you were like someone in
05:43my case where hopeless romantic like
05:46even in the marriage you just held this
05:49very strong belief that no matter how
05:52tough things get
05:53you're married like that is your person
05:55for life that's it like you work through
05:58things or you cope through things like
06:01depending on
06:03the season of the marriage but
06:06that was honestly broken for me when
06:10when the separation happened like my
06:13whole idea of marriage shifted and I I
06:18guess I shouldn't say that it broke but
06:20it shifted right because
06:22here I held it as this like up on a
06:25pedestal like should never
06:28be tainted and I would not be the type
06:33of person that would allow it to be
06:35tainted there was probably a lot of
06:37judgment on my part that I held towards
06:40others that had been through divorce
06:44um had gotten separated absolutely I can
06:47say that but
06:49uh life lessons teach you guys that's
06:52why I think that it is so important when
06:54you take advice from anyone especially
06:56on social media they they need to have
06:59that experience behind them so how do I
07:02explain this because
07:04um
07:05it was it was like my decision to go
07:09through with the divorce I like if
07:11anyone looked up the paperwork it is my
07:14name that initiated the actual divorce
07:17papers
07:18but it was not me that initiated the
07:20separation that was my ex
07:23so I was just the one that was trying to
07:26get it done legally because there were a
07:28lot of reasons why I needed to get it
07:30done legally and he was willing to just
07:33kind of push it off and
07:37um you know leave me with the house to
07:40take care of myself and the children
07:42for the most part to take care of
07:45um he was still seeing them but
07:47financially it was kind of all on me
07:50and so because of the way that I went
07:53through my divorce and the circumstances
07:56surrounding it
07:58it was an extremely scary time for me
08:01because
08:02I I felt like I was I was the
08:05breadwinner that's kind of the dynamic
08:07that you guys might need to know and so
08:10I was a breadwinner
08:12um I had my kids the majority of the
08:16time although he shared a lot of
08:18parenting time as well because we did
08:20not have a formal daycare
08:22all heck broke loose anyways in 2020
08:27um and then it did become me being the
08:29primary care person all the time just
08:31because I was laid off of work
08:34and there was like a lot of concern for
08:36kovid and for especially the health of
08:39my son who has
08:40um asthma and he was just getting over
08:43like having a severe uncontrolled asthma
08:47with multiple trips to the ER so there
08:49was a lot of concern that you know him
08:51going anywhere else could potentially
08:53put his life at risk so on top of that
08:57I was being threatened with uh the
09:02possibility of having two paid child
09:04support to my ex and uh that was very
09:08scary because
09:10it was sort of a temporary situation
09:12that we were supposed to be in in which
09:14I was the breadwinner that was not our
09:15Dynamic for the majority of our marriage
09:18it was just what was happening within
09:21the last two years because there was a
09:23career change on his part and he was
09:26supposed to be you know eventually
09:28doing a lot better but he hadn't gotten
09:31there yet so there was concern that like
09:35if like literally if I had to pay I
09:39would have lost the house and that's why
09:41guys I have a lot of empathy for men
09:44that go through this situation where
09:47they they literally cannot really afford
09:50the amount of child support that the
09:52state that they live in requires of them
09:56especially like when they have 50 50
09:58custody and they're already spending a
10:00lot of money in order to have housing
10:02for their child you know like if they're
10:05having their child half the nights then
10:07I'm not really sure why they need to pay
10:10for the other household in the amounts
10:13that most dates require especially for
10:16those that comment on my videos I just I
10:19see a lot of cases in which it is very
10:22unfair it seems that you know the man
10:26has to pay twelve hundred dollars a
10:28month 1300 1500 a month
10:32while they have 50 50 custody of their
10:34child okay so with that all being said
10:38there was a lot of financial stress and
10:41I
10:42now became very cynical of marriage
10:47because of what I was facing in divorce
10:49again I think that this can be very
10:52relatable to any of you men that have
10:54been through divorce because you put
10:57yourself at this like real Financial
10:59Risk and that's again that is so scary
11:03you've pretty much have signed a
11:05document with the state and they're
11:08allowed to dictate now
11:10um how much your ex receives and they
11:13get to have a lot of financial say in
11:16your life and so that brings out a
11:19little bit of cynicism unfortunately in
11:23me
11:24um
11:25I think that that's just part of it it's
11:28just a piece right because I I am very
11:32religious and I think that there is
11:35a lot to be said for the importance of
11:38marriage when it comes to saying your
11:41vows in front of God and that is nothing
11:44that I want to downplay at all I think
11:46that for me personally it's just a
11:49matter of getting those two things to
11:52the same place you know it's like
11:54resolving that cynicism about signing a
11:57contract with the government and then
12:00you know the what I already believe in
12:03religiously with saying vows to God and
12:06the importance with that so
12:08in what I think is that no one should
12:11rush into a decision like that and it
12:14will come in time I think that those two
12:16things will come together and then the
12:18other logistical things will fall into
12:21place and there will be a time in which
12:24it feels right and it feels like this is
12:27the moment now
12:28what is linked to this also
12:31um questions about if this was a planned
12:33pregnancy I don't know if I want to
12:35answer that right now in this video I
12:37think that could be a whole other video
12:39if you guys are interested in it uh with
12:42me just spewing my personal details but
12:46um I would share that with you guys if
12:48you really are interested we'll see how
12:50this video does I don't have any harsh
12:52feelings towards
12:53even negative comments that come my way
12:55because again like I get it I was once
12:58in my 20s and I was judgmental for
13:01anyone that had even been through a
13:03divorce and I would totally be
13:04judgmental also uh with anyone that was
13:08going through unplanned pregnancy or a
13:11pregnancy out of wedlock
13:13I totally would but I gotta say that it
13:17is so freeing when you get to the point
13:18in your life when you just do things
13:20that you want to do that is uh that
13:24feels right to you and not just based on
13:27what Society wants you to do or even but
13:30extended family might want you to do so
13:33I hope that this was helpful guys I'll
13:36see you later
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FAQs about This YouTube Video

1. Why is Tiktoker Emily King not married?

Tiktoker Emily King explains why she's not married, discussing both logistical and emotional reasons, including her past marriage, divorce, financial stress, and the shift in her perspective on marriage.

2. What are the emotional reasons behind Tiktoker Emily King's decision not to rush into marriage?

Tiktoker Emily King shares her belief that rushing into marriage should be avoided and emphasizes the importance of making the decision when it feels right, taking into account personal beliefs and circumstances.

3. How has Tiktoker Emily King's past marriage and divorce influenced her perspective on marriage?

Tiktoker Emily King discusses how her past marriage and divorce have contributed to the shift in her perspective on marriage, highlighting the impact of financial stress and personal growth.

4. What does Tiktoker Emily King emphasize regarding the decision to get married?

Tiktoker Emily King emphasizes the importance of considering personal beliefs and circumstances when making the decision to get married, underlining the significance of waiting until it feels right.

5. What does Tiktoker Emily King think about rushing into marriage?

Tiktoker Emily King believes that rushing into marriage should be avoided, advocating for a thoughtful approach that takes into account personal beliefs and circumstances.

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