💫 總結
Tony Robbins explora as seis necessidades humanas, destacando padrões comportamentais, formas de atender essas necessidades e como progresso traz felicidade.
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Todos têm uma razão para suas ações, e existem apenas seis necessidades humanas.
00:08Cada ação, desde suicídio até longas jornadas de trabalho, tem uma razão subjacente.
Existem padrões nas razões que podem provocar diferentes emoções, como raiva ou gratidão.
O objetivo é identificar e adotar padrões que funcionem melhor em nossas vidas.
As seis necessidades humanas são fundamentais para entender o comportamento das pessoas.
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A necessidade de certeza é fundamental e pode ser atendida de várias maneiras.
03:55As pessoas valorizam a certeza de formas diferentes, dependendo de suas crenças pessoais.
A certeza pode ser obtida através de experiências passadas, fé, ou comportamentos como exercícios físicos e alimentação.
É importante entender quais necessidades cada pessoa prioriza e como elas definem a certeza em suas vidas.
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A permanência em problemas é frequentemente devido à satisfação de algumas necessidades pessoais.
07:48Muitas pessoas mantêm problemas porque eles atendem a algumas de suas necessidades emocionais.
Relacionamentos insatisfatórios podem ser mantidos por medo da solidão e incerteza sobre o futuro.
É possível identificar um "limite" emocional que, uma vez reconhecido, permite a superação e mudança.
Cada pessoa tem maneiras diferentes de atender às suas seis necessidades humanas, sendo a certeza uma delas.
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A necessidade de incerteza e variedade pode ser satisfeita simultaneamente.
11:45As pessoas têm uma necessidade de surpresas, mas também de certeza.
É possível se tornar "viciado" em ações que atendem a múltiplas necessidades.
Um exemplo é alugar um filme já visto, que oferece certeza de qualidade e variedade ao mesmo tempo.
A satisfação de necessidades opostas pode ocorrer em diferentes contextos.
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A violência é uma forma rápida de obter significância, mas a conexão e o amor são necessidades humanas fundamentais.
15:39A violência é mais rápida e fácil de implementar, gerando um senso de significância instantâneo.
Colocar uma arma na cabeça de alguém cria uma percepção de importância imediata, mesmo entre estranhos.
A conexão e o amor são frequentemente evitados devido ao medo de desapontamentos e perdas, levando as pessoas a aceitarem conexões superficiais.
A busca por variedade na violência pode se tornar viciante, pois cada situação é única e imprevisível.
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A generosidade pode proporcionar um senso de significância pessoal.
19:34Ser generoso traz uma sensação de plenitude e importância.
Muitas pessoas buscam significância através de problemas, já que isso facilita a conexão.
A necessidade de se sentir único e especial é uma das seis necessidades humanas.
A busca por aprovação e a tentativa de agradar os outros nem sempre resulta em sucesso.
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O crescimento e a contribuição são fundamentais para a felicidade e realização pessoal.
23:30O crescimento é essencial em todas as áreas da vida; sem ele, as coisas estão morrendo.
O progresso é a chave para a felicidade; mesmo pequenos avanços podem aumentar a satisfação.
O propósito de um objetivo não é apenas alcançá-lo, mas sim quem nos tornamos ao buscá-lo.
A necessidade de contribuir e compartilhar conquistas com os outros é uma parte importante da experiência humana.
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A conversa revela as necessidades de validação de uma jovem de 13 anos.
27:24A jovem parece querer se encaixar e ser vista como significativa.
Ela menciona ter muitos brincos porque "todo mundo tem cinco".
A reação do narrador indica surpresa e preocupação com a pressão social que ela enfrenta.
O foco principal é a busca por reconhecimento e importância na vida dela.
00:08whatever people do they always I always
00:10have a reason they may not be aware of
00:12the reason consciously but there's
00:14always a reason if someone tries to
00:16commit suicide there's a reason if
00:18someone tries to hurt someone else
00:20there's a reason if someone is willing
00:22to work 18-hour days there's a reason if
00:24someone doesn't want to work there's a
00:25reason here's the good news having dealt
00:28with literally tens of millions of
00:31people from hundreds of countries or
00:33more than a hundred countries to be
00:34accurate
00:34I could be an idiot at this point and
00:37have to see there are patterns there are
00:39patterns that'll make you angry and
00:40patterns it'll make you sad there
00:42patterns will excite you the patterns
00:43will make you grateful the patterns will
00:46make you completely worried all the time
00:48their patterns it'll make you feel so
00:49absolutely certain you can run through
00:51an effing wall once you know what the
00:53patterns are you can get rid of the ones
00:55that don't work and adopt some ones that
00:57do more often and that's good part of
00:58what we're gonna do the next few day is
01:00to give you a perspective but the most
01:02important pattern understand is why
01:04people do what they do so as I told you
01:06I've had a unique gift I've had the
01:08chance to travel the world at this stage
01:10of life where literally the world is
01:13available all of us in a few hours but
01:15what I want you understand is everybody
01:18has a reason for what they do
01:19but the good news is there's only six
01:21reasons there are lots of different
01:23stories but I can tell you by experience
01:26being around the world there's only six
01:28reasons and those six reasons are called
01:29the six human needs and I'm gonna walk
01:32you through these now I need you to
01:34manage your stay for the next few
01:35minutes because we're gonna go a little
01:37deeper on content but we're gonna do it
01:39only so in the future for the next three
01:40days and somebody stands up you're gonna
01:42look at them and they're gonna go what's
01:44driving them and I'm gonna ask you which
01:46of these needs are driving them because
01:48once you know what drives somebody you
01:50know to meet their needs or you can
01:52predict their behavior and see whether
01:53or not they're the right corporate match
01:55personal match intimate match because
01:57you have to understand it so what are
01:58these six needs they are not goals they
02:01are not desires if you travel with me
02:03around the world you'll see every
02:05culture has different goals everybody
02:06has different desires but we all the
02:09same needs what are they number one is
02:11the need for certainty certainty now
02:14what the hell is certainty certainty is
02:16a survival need we all need to feel
02:20certain
02:21we can avoid pain and that ideally we
02:24can have some comfort why cuz continuous
02:27pain would mean continuous damage
02:30continuous damage eventually means death
02:33so the need for certainty is built into
02:36every human being and I'm gonna show you
02:38now in the next few minutes if you stay
02:40with me and I really need you to do so
02:41make sure you say sit up in your chair
02:42and focus on this area because after
02:45this we're gonna kick in gear again but
02:46right now you got to take this in it'll
02:47be so valuable not just for this weekend
02:49before your life all human beings have
02:52the same six needs so why do we behave
02:54differently because the only thing
02:56different in people is two things we all
02:59the same six needs but we don't value
03:01them equally
03:02some people certainty is the number one
03:05thing they value if they're certainly
03:07driven and you try to change anything
03:08they freak out they get fearful or they
03:11get angry or they get pissed off because
03:13what matters most of them is keeping
03:15things the same way where they feel like
03:17they're in control
03:17rayji and if you fall that's an example
03:19some people they value love much more
03:22than certainty some people value
03:24certainty more than love so even though
03:25they love you if they don't feel certain
03:27they won't open completely just as one
03:30example so the difference in people
03:32we're all the same six needs the
03:33difference is which of the top two you
03:36value most out of these six because
03:38these top two determine your direction
03:40in life and direction if you keep moving
03:43in direction it leads you to an ultimate
03:45destination or destiny so we want to
03:48understand what your top two needs are
03:49and same thing with other people this
03:52weekend when somebody stands up often
03:53I'll say what's driving in right now and
03:55I want you to see within a very short
03:56time 8,000 people from 44 countries will
03:59all be saying the same thing it'll be
04:01that obvious to you you'll be a
04:02practical psychologist by the time we're
04:04done here so now if we know what these
04:07needs are and person values them
04:10differently we also have to find out two
04:12people could have the same need but they
04:14have a different belief about what it
04:15takes to be loved or a different need
04:17about what it takes to be certain some
04:20people to certain need $10,000,000,000
04:21some people to certain just need to pray
04:23to God somebody to be certain need to
04:26feel like they have three perfect
04:28children and they're there every day
04:29some people that feel certain feel
04:31certain because I've always figured it
04:33out I don't know what's gonna happen but
04:34I
04:34I'll figure it out cuz I always have you
04:37can get certainty from your past you get
04:38certainty from God you get certainty by
04:40working out intensely you get certainty
04:42by eating food too much food especially
04:43will put comfort in your body if you
04:45overeat all the blood goes in your
04:46stomach you start breathing again
04:48so we all need certainty the only
04:51question is it number one two three four
04:52or five or six on your list and the
04:54second question is what does your brain
04:56say has to happen to be certain
04:58some people have certainty that's
04:59impossible to meet the young lady over
05:02here who was sitting in the chair before
05:04we intervened how to blueprint that's
05:07never gonna be met if the literally
05:08would make her unhappy regularly so we
05:11got to know what needs you're after and
05:12what's your blueprint how many good at
05:14feeling at least when I'm explaining you
05:16right now it makes some sense to you say
05:17I can awesome so the first need is
05:21certainty how can we meet our need for
05:23certainty we can do it ways that are
05:25positive neutral or negative I can get
05:30certainty in a heartbeat if all I want
05:32to do is get really pissed off and
05:35freaked out about something when you get
05:37angry do you get certain yes or no you
05:40better believe it so some people get
05:41angry all the time because it's their
05:42way to get certainty in a life that's
05:44uncertain it has all kinds of negative
05:46side effects but it works in the moment
05:48so listen to me now most people meet
05:51their needs in a way that works in the
05:53moment but not long-term so they feel
05:56good for a short time like a sugar high
05:58and then they drop emotional and they
06:00got to do it again whether its food or
06:02smoking or drinking or whatever it is so
06:04you can meet your needs in positive ways
06:07neutralize your negative ways so if I
06:09came along here and I said what's your
06:10name sir chase chase I want to make a
06:13deal with you how much do you weigh 246
06:18we're gonna weigh you in five minutes he
06:21says he weighs 246 if you're within that
06:23range I'm fine here's my deal I will
06:26give you I'm gonna put fifty million
06:27dollars u.s. cash tonight into an escrow
06:31account for you they're gonna weigh you
06:33if you lose 50 pounds tomorrow morning
06:35by 8:30 a.m. you will receive that 50
06:39million otherwise they get it back can
06:40you do it yes or no
06:41no sure you can't take off a leg take it
06:45on and we can get you out there there's
06:46no question chase
06:48is the goal obtainable yes or no is it
06:52achievable is it obtainable yes or now
06:54but it's not sustainable and that's how
06:58most people meet their needs they use a
07:00drug or alcohol or food or cigarettes or
07:02something to get comfortable to get
07:03certainty back but the problem is that
07:06has side effects long-term works in the
07:08short-term
07:08doesn't the long-term make sure if you
07:10follow say I so you could get certainty
07:13by overeating or smoking or drinking
07:16what happens you smoke a cigarette take
07:19a deep breath in and you blow it out
07:20nice and long and slow full exhale when
07:23most of you are stressed how many of
07:25noticed that you either stop breathing
07:26or you breathe really shallow
07:28how many noticed this in the past so you
07:30smoke a cigarette and the moment you
07:32meet your need for comfort and certainty
07:34it's killing you but it works short-term
07:36that's how most people live their life
07:38you can get certainty by working out if
07:41you go on a run really intensely or you
07:42go lift weights and you push yourself
07:44and all that blood starts pulsing
07:46through you do you feel certain yes or
07:48no and what's the downside 0 so there
07:52are ways to meet your needs that are
07:53empowering neutral or disempowering the
07:57parts of our life we don't like our
07:58problems why would we keep a problem
08:01we're all capable of solving it why
08:03would we keep a problem the only reason
08:05you have a problem that's stuck around
08:06is because it meets some of your needs
08:08not all of them or you would want to get
08:11rid of it but enough of them that makes
08:13it hard to give up it's kind of like
08:15who's ever been in a relationship way
08:18too long let me see your hands
08:21and how many knew what was wrong while
08:23you were there let me see your hands
08:25so why the F did you stay there because
08:28of the uncertainty because well you know
08:32I you know I'm not thoroughly happy I'm
08:35kind of unhappy but I might be worse if
08:37I was totally alone what if this is the
08:39best one I'm never gonna get I screwed
08:41it out but what happened was most of you
08:45had that feeling talked yourself back
08:47down into the relationship multiple
08:49times until one day you had a threshold
08:50well your brain when it was painful in
08:53the past its leave on the process it's
08:55gonna be painful the field drive out of
08:56here who's done this before say I
09:00so there is a threshold that we can find
09:04and if we find that threshold we can
09:06break through it pretty damn easily we
09:07can shift we can get to where we really
09:09want to go so what I want you to get is
09:11of these six needs we all find a way to
09:15meet them
09:15the only difference again is which are
09:17your top two out of the six and I've
09:19told you certainty so far and what are
09:22your beliefs or rules or what your
09:24blueprint on how to get that her
09:26blueprint was make please everybody
09:27which is impossible so it won't work
09:30raise your hand if you follow okay so
09:33let's take a look what's the second you
09:34mini well first of all you can get
09:35certainly in so many ways
09:37you get certainty by praying to God you
09:39can get certainty by doing a ritual the
09:42same way every time you can get
09:44certainty by lowering your expectations
09:46saying nothing ever works nothing ever
09:48will everybody screws things up you'll
09:51lose your dream but you'll gain your
09:54need by the way jot this down people
09:57will give up their goals and dreams to
10:00meet their needs people will give up
10:03their goals and dreams they'll even give
10:05up their own values to meet their needs
10:08I'll give you an example how many of you
10:12in this room consider yourself to be an
10:13honest person very honest person raise
10:15your hand if you consider yourself to be
10:16very honest raise your hand nice and
10:17high
10:18okay drop your hand raise your hand if
10:20you lie let me see your hands if you lie
10:22can explain them to me later
10:25here's how it works see in your mind you
10:30know who you are
10:31why would someone lie who values honesty
10:34no one told you to be honest you want to
10:35be honest because if you think being
10:38honest it's gonna cost you one of your
10:40needs like love or certainty you'll lie
10:42you call it a white lie but you'll lie
10:44who knows what I'm talking about now
10:46there's some people that never lie
10:48because they value certainty of always
10:51telling the truth so much I have to do
10:53with their rules or their belief
10:54structures this makes sense so tell me
10:57something you can meet the need for
10:59certainty so many ways right so here's
11:01the question you can go ahead here's the
11:04question what if you were certain every
11:08moment of your life what was gonna
11:10happen before it happened what if you
11:11knew what people are gonna say before
11:12they're gonna say
11:13what if you could feel what they're
11:15gonna feel what if you could what if you
11:17knew every moment before it happened
11:19what people are going to say and do in
11:20the beginning that would feel really
11:23exciting but after a while if you know
11:27what's gonna happen when it's gonna
11:28happen how it's gonna happen tell me
11:29what you're gonna feel after a while
11:30what do you start to feel tell me what
11:33bored out of your mind that's why God in
11:36her infinite wisdom gave us a second
11:39human need and that second human need is
11:42uncertainty we have a need for
11:45uncertainty we have a need for a
11:46surprise we have a need for variety in
11:49fact what's the phrase variety is the
11:51word of life spice of life now how many
11:55of you in this room raise your hand how
11:57many of you in this room love surprises
12:00raise hand if you love them say I both
12:04you love the surprises you want the
12:09surprises you don't want you don't want
12:12you call them problems don't you so
12:15don't tell me you like surprises you
12:16like the surprise as you want here's my
12:18point
12:19can you meet more than one need with the
12:21same action or emotion or belief system
12:24yes or no write this down
12:27any time any time your mind any time
12:32your mind perceives that doing something
12:36any time your mind perceives that doing
12:38something believing something or feeling
12:42something meets at least three of your
12:44needs so anytime your mind perceives
12:47that doing something feeling something
12:50or believing something meets at least
12:51three of your needs then you will become
12:53addicted to that thought that feeling
12:55that emotion or that action you can be
12:58positively addicted or now you'll
12:59addicted but you're going to be addicted
13:00any time your brain perceives that's
13:03something you believe do or feel meets
13:05three of your needs you'll get addicted
13:06to it now I'm going to show you why this
13:08is important let's look at two needs for
13:11a second is it possible to meet your
13:14need for certainty and uncertainty
13:15simultaneously even though they're
13:17opposite needs yes or no I give an
13:20example who here has ever rented a movie
13:22that you've already seen let me see your
13:25hands
13:26get
13:27life now I've done it too why would it
13:31in a movie we've already seen we'd ran
13:34it why because we've seen it before so
13:36we're certain it's good and we're hoping
13:40it's been so long we forgot enough it'll
13:42be variety we watch it again who knows
13:44what I'm talking about here say I so you
13:47can meet both needs but if you meet
13:49three needs you'll become addicted to
13:52that behavior whether it's a good
13:53behavior a bad behavior it doesn't
13:54matter it'll be a positive addiction or
13:56negative diction but you'll be addicted
13:57so let me give you a how do you get
13:59variety you get variety in positive ways
14:01negative what is your neutral ways you
14:03get variety by learning growing taking
14:05on a new goal a new challenge you get
14:07variety through a conversation with a
14:09friend
14:09you get variety by praying to God
14:11there's so many ways to get variety
14:12aren't there but you can also get
14:14variety and negative ways you can smoke
14:16a joint and maybe that's not a negative
14:18way but it sure will change your state
14:20but it side effects right during that
14:22time you're not gonna function maybe at
14:24the same peak or understanding or some
14:26people use other things cigarettes
14:27alcohol anything there's so many ways to
14:29get variety the question is are your
14:31ways positive neutral negative or
14:35empowering how many follow because we
14:37all have ways they're getting that
14:38variety that uncertainty so here's what
14:41I want you to do third human need is
14:43significance the need to feel unique the
14:47need to feel special yes I hope that
14:49picture makes you feel special okay
14:52they need to feel unique special
14:54important who has the need to be needed
14:58to feel special unique important who do
15:00you think has that need who has it tell
15:01me who what about people say I don't
15:04want to be special do they still want to
15:05be special yes or no you bet your ass
15:08they do the house protest too much now
15:10they don't wanna be so special that you
15:11attack them they might want to stay
15:13undercover so to speak but they still
15:14want to feel special they want to feel
15:16unique they want to feel needed they
15:17want to feel important so there are lots
15:20of ways to feel special you can do it by
15:22working your ass off taking huge risks
15:24and achieving something to feel special
15:25or you can tear down everybody else
15:29that's trying to build something because
15:31there's two ways to have the tallest
15:32building in town one is work your ass
15:34off take rest build the tallest building
15:36the other one is blow up everybody
15:38else's building
15:39and by the way which one's faster which
15:42one's easier which takes less
15:43intelligence and less money tearing
15:46down it happens faster so that's why
15:48we've always had violence and we always
15:51will unless there's a consciousness
15:52change if I live in a tough part of the
15:55community I'm in the hood and you can
15:58walk through my community and you don't
16:00notice me and I feel insignificant I
16:02might take things into my own hands to
16:04feel significant if all of a sudden I
16:06put a gun to your head tell me on a 0 to
16:0910 scale how certain am I you're gonna
16:11respond to me now when I put that gun
16:13dear hat 0 to 10 10 is absolute zero is
16:16not at all where would you put it quick
16:17yeah 100 it's a true but also when I put
16:23my gun to your head how significant am I
16:24to you in your life even if you didn't
16:26know me a minute ago if I got a gun in
16:29your head how significant on my zero to
16:30ten hundred I'm the most significant
16:34thing in your life and a moment ago you
16:35didn't know existed
16:36and they don't need any intelligence I
16:38don't need background the education all
16:40I needs a gun and the will to do it oh
16:42by the way just in case there's not
16:45enough there to be an addiction when I
16:46put that gun to your head every time
16:49that happens it's gonna be a different
16:51game I know you're gonna respond to me I
16:53know I'm significant but what you're
16:54gonna say and do is different so I get
16:55variety so you made three needs but
16:58violence doesn't end there because the
17:01fourth human need is connection and love
17:03and most people are too afraid to love
17:07because they've loved and been
17:08disappointed or they've loved and then
17:10lost the love it was so painful that now
17:13they settle for the crumbs of connection
17:15because that's safer so it's a form of
17:17the need but a low level than II but
17:18it's still part of the need we gotta
17:20meet it
17:20so if you're going for connection and
17:23love if I cut my gun to his head on a
17:26zero to ten I'm a ten of certainty I'm a
17:2810 of significant to him I'm gonna have
17:30a ton of variety but are we also
17:32connected in a sick way but deeply
17:35connected in this moment yes or no on a
17:37zero to 10 how much connection is there
17:39between our lives at this moment when I
17:41put the gun there hundred how many
17:43followers say I so violence meets for
17:47the human needs and that's why we've
17:49always had it that's why Isis exists
17:51that's why people do the scoop
17:52things they do as they do it to try to
17:55meet their needs the biggest cause of
17:57violence so if you'll notice is 95% of
18:01time when it's a terrorist it's a male
18:04why is that because in the human nervous
18:07system if you're masculine testosterone
18:10is probably large in you with your man
18:12or woman if you're more masculine you
18:14got a lot of testosterone testosterone
18:16is about dominance
18:17it's about significance it's about
18:20domination and the higher that is the
18:22more they want it if they look at their
18:23life and they're not dominating and they
18:27get really frustrated they'll do a final
18:29act men will die for significance women
18:32will die for love now some men will die
18:35for love too so you know but
18:36biochemically a female is wired to be
18:40able to nurture and to support human
18:43beings we wouldn't exist if it wasn't
18:45for everyone in this room because we all
18:46came through one a we wouldn't existed
18:48there's no man that can make this happen
18:50but the women have and the reason is
18:52because they have that connecting power
18:54as their strength now can any man become
18:56more loved driven yes can any woman be
18:58more significant driven yes but our
19:00biochemistry leads us that way which is
19:03why a terrace will come up and do what
19:05they're doing and kill someone because
19:07all they give it about is domination is
19:10that I'm significant and they want
19:12certainty in a world where they feel
19:13uncertain and they want variety in life
19:16that is incredibly boring in the middle
19:17of in desert where there's nothing and
19:19no one's working where you got thirty
19:21percent of population unemployed what am
19:23I gonna do work at McDonald's or go kill
19:25people kill people feels more exciting
19:27right now how many follow what I'm
19:29talking about here say I now can you get
19:32significance in positive ways of course
19:34you can be significantly more generous
19:36than anyone else and that generosity
19:38gives you a sense of significance
19:40because you know you're really a giver
19:41you're not trading you're not exchanging
19:43you really are giving and it makes you
19:45feel full it makes you feel significant
19:47if you know the truth no matter what you
19:48tell people verbally you know it's true
19:51inside and no one can mess with them you
19:54can get significance by the way you
19:55dress you can have significance by
19:58having more tattoos and earrings and
19:59more locations than any of us want to
20:01know but the bottom line is there's a
20:04mint you can know more about box scores
20:06and sports to be significant everyone
20:08finds a way to be significant most
20:10people find a way to be significant by
20:12having a significant problem why because
20:16if I'm really successful you might like
20:18me for a while but after a while most
20:21people get annoyed with someone who's
20:23always happy and successful easy for you
20:26who knows what I'm talking about here
20:29raise your hand right but if you got
20:32big-ass problems who's gonna be upset
20:34with you you're not competing with them
20:35you have huge problems ago I understand
20:38but if you're doing really well it's
20:40like easy for you so most of us
20:42unconsciously learn to create big
20:44problems as a way to connect because
20:46it's the safest way to connect and not
20:48be rejected some of you do it like she
20:51does by trying to please everybody all
20:53the time thinking if I please you enough
20:55then you'll come to me you'll give me
20:57what I'm really wanting to which is what
20:58she wants but it doesn't work that way
20:59it works sometimes but not all the time
21:02and not even the majority of the time
21:03tell me follow your say I so we have
21:06what needs so far number one is nice and
21:09loud number one is certainty certainly
21:12you can be comfortable you can avoid
21:13pain you can survive you can be
21:15comfortable second you may need to need
21:17for uncertainty also need for variety or
21:21surprise what's the third human need the
21:23need for to feel unique to feel special
21:27to feel important who has that need who
21:30has that need everyone and the fourth
21:33need is the need for connection and most
21:36people settle for connection because
21:40love is too scary because they love that
21:42it was so wonderful it went away and
21:44they don't want that pain anymore so
21:45they want love but they settle for
21:47connection so if you can't get love or
21:50connection anywhere else buy a dog don't
21:52get a cat they're independent get a dog
21:53is it true you could be the dumbass
21:57owner you cannot even feed them you can
21:59leave for five hours you can leave for
22:01five minutes and it's like you've been
22:02gone for six months they're so excited
22:04right so anyone can feel connection and
22:06love you can do it through prayer you
22:08can do it too good gifts you can do it
22:10by dressing special you can do it by
22:11having big problems the only question in
22:13life is not whether you're going to meet
22:15your needs the only question is how and
22:18is it
22:19obtainable or sustainable is it
22:22empowering neutral or negative and if
22:24you want to change your life will power
22:27never laughs but when something meets
22:30more of your needs it's effortless if
22:32you want to know what the biggest
22:34addiction is in our culture it's not
22:37alcohol it's not some form of
22:40prescription drug it's not an illicit
22:43drug it's problems because problems
22:46allow us to try to deal with our deepest
22:50fear that we're not enough and we won't
22:53be loved by saying it's not me it's this
22:54problem it's just I have ADHD it's just
22:58that I've been through this it's just so
23:00most people meet their needs through
23:01problems unfortunately they don't meet
23:03their deepest needs because up until now
23:05we've described the first four needs
23:07which are the basic needs of your
23:09personality but what both of everyone by
23:12the way finds a way to meet these first
23:14four needs even if they lie to yourself
23:15if you got to work 20 hour days you will
23:19find a way to meet your need for
23:19certainty uncertainty significance even
23:22assists you have worse problems anybody
23:24else connection to yourself you will
23:27find a way
23:27but the final two needs are the needs
23:30that create fulfilment and they are the
23:32spiritual needs not religious but
23:33spiritual the fifth human need is growth
23:36we've already said it we grow all we
23:38want there's no way around it if your
23:42business isn't growing it's dying if
23:43your relationship isn't growing it's
23:45dying there are no plateaus in this life
23:47who's with me here say hi so growth is
23:51life and if you want a one-word key to
23:54happiness I'll give it to you right now
23:55because it's real obvious having work
23:57with millions of people progress equals
24:00happiness if you're not even where you
24:02want to be you're still overweight
24:05you're still financially struggling
24:07you're still not where you want to be in
24:09your career but you start working out
24:11yume wants the weight yet but you start
24:12feeling better you start making progress
24:14or you start to change that business
24:17still not there yet but you're making
24:18progress or change that relationship or
24:21change your body or change your health
24:22any time you start making progress your
24:25happiness will go through the roof
24:26anytime you achieve things and you don't
24:30set up something new to go for it
24:31quickly
24:32you'll lose momentum and in a short time
24:35you won't be so happy because the law of
24:37familiarity will come in and this thing
24:39that once with this big dream will now
24:41just be something that you're used to so
24:44the purpose of a goal is not to get the
24:46goal the purpose of a goal is who we
24:47become to achieve it what you get will
24:51never make you happy who you become will
24:54make you very happy or very sad to bring
24:56upon how you approach it and what you do
24:58with your life
24:58so our approach here is we want to grow
25:01and then the six human need is the need
25:03for contribution the need to step out of
25:06ourselves see how many of you in this
25:09room when something great happens how
25:12many of you can't help yourself you
25:14immediately want to share that with
25:15somebody you love how many immediately
25:17that's your first thoughts AI why
25:20because you could only feel so much
25:22yourself I don't care if it's sex drugs
25:25rock and roll whatever it is there's
25:26only so much pleasure you can internally
25:28have you want to share that concert with
25:31someone you want to share that
25:32experience with someone because by
25:33sharing it becomes more it's more than
25:35just you growth and contribution our
25:38fifth and six needs they are spiritual
25:40needs they are the needs to fulfill us
25:42everybody finds a way to feel somewhat
25:44certain some variety some significance
25:46even if they've got to tear people down
25:47some connection but very few people grow
25:51continuously and contribute continuously
25:52which is where all the joy is how many
25:54follow here say I so we're gonna make a
25:58couple distinctions but first of all can
26:00you meet somebody in a few minutes start
26:03to pick up which needs might be driving
26:04the most yes or no yes or no of course
26:07you can in fact I'll give an example I
26:10was flying
26:11I don't know this five five six seven
26:12years ago I was flying the small plane
26:14across the country and I was being the
26:15pilot and I landed it in Kansas City and
26:19I land in Kansas excuse me I'm in Kansas
26:22and I'm in this little Airport in Kansas
26:25and I get out of the plane and this
26:27young man comes running out and he's
26:28like so enthusiastic and so just such a
26:31sweet good soul you know you just you
26:33meet a guy great hit off this kid and he
26:36says what can I do for you I told him
26:37I'm just flying through it you need to
26:39refuel he goes how much do you need I
26:41said just fill her up he goes no problem
26:42I leave as I leave him come around the
26:44plain to walk up the steps to go into
26:46the FBO the fix based operation were of
26:48stopping for the moment I went abuses of
26:51the facilities and there's a young girl
26:53sitting on the stairs here and she looks
26:56really intense
26:57she's gothic you know that goth makeup
26:59she's got I don't remember the exact
27:01number but like 15 earrings on one here
27:04one through the nose really intense
27:06looking little character so I noticed
27:08her on the way in and as I walk up the
27:10steps I walk but you know by her go
27:12inside and when I came back out the
27:14steps are really wide so I sat on the
27:16step just beside her she's like one
27:18person away and she looks up me goes
27:20what do you want I said what do you want
27:24she's a nothing I said nothing
27:28let me just sat there she's like you
27:31know in her space and I said actually
27:33there is something I'd like to know I
27:35said you don't have to tell me but I'm
27:38gonna leave here in a few minutes you're
27:39never gonna meet me again sent your
27:41boyfriend out there she goes
27:43Wolfe sorta like she wants him to be
27:47right it's looks nice I said he seems
27:50like a really really nice kid he's not
27:51nice he's strong she tells me I see I
27:55okay well I think he's strong in nice
27:58she said well maybe he is I said you
28:01know I'm gonna leave it a couple minutes
28:02but I'm just curious I said how old you
28:07she goes what does it matter I said it
28:10doesn't and I'm about to leave so why
28:11don't you tell me she said I'm 13 and I
28:16about fell over I mean this girl
28:18I mean 17 be the youngest I put her
28:21totally made me a makeup made up in
28:24every detail right so I'm like wow she
28:27goes are you surprised I said yeah I'm
28:28really surprised she goes did you think
28:30I was older I said yeah I said that kind
28:33of saddened me a little bit for you
28:34she said what no no I said I'm curious
28:39I'm gonna leave here in a few minutes
28:40it's cuz you're curious about a lot of
28:41things I said I am I said how come and
28:47I'm making up a number it made in 13 but
28:49it was more than 12 how male outcomes 13
28:53or 15 earrings and she says to me
28:54because everybody else has five
28:57now if I don't tell you anything else
28:59about this young lady what would you say
29:01is the number-one need that's driving
29:03her at this stage of her life right now
29:04nice and loud go which one nice and loud
29:07how many said significance raise your
29:10hand absolutely right you can see it
29:11easily but people are driven by more
29:14than one thing and as I'm watching her
29:16in this really tough ass approach and
29:19thinking about how she's adapted to be
29:21unique and significant I look down and I
29:23see she has a keychain and it's a taker
29:26keychain you know Tigger the Disney
29:28character Winnie the Pooh Tigger and I
29:30go cool keychain and she goes yeah and
29:34all sudden I saw a little girl there for
29:36a second and I said Tigger I said
29:39where'd you get that she goes well my
29:41dad got it for me and she all of a
29:45sudden there's a 13 year old girl there
29:46it's totally amazing and I said really
29:48she goes yeah I really love taker I even
29:50have Tigger curtains and I have a Tigger
29:53sheets I'm it's embarrassing but I love
29:55Tigers so tell me something
29:58this woman's need she meets her need for
30:00significance by doing what being gothic
30:04being different than everybody else
30:0615 earrings tough-ass makeup but she's
30:11still a little girl she has another need
30:12called certain date and comfort and
30:14where does she get that Tigger and a dad
30:17and you could see it right there in
30:19front of you after this weekend you will
30:22never see the world the same way if you
30:23stay awake instead of seeing people's
30:26behaviors you're gonna see their
30:27attempts to meet their needs and when
30:30people do stupid things they're just
30:32starving to meet their needs and they're
30:34finding something that isn't very
30:35effective or it's effective short-term
30:38but hurt some long-term and because
30:40you've done this you can have compassion
30:42how many of you have something on the
30:43list more than one or you're doing
30:45dumbass things to meet some of your
30:47needs and even though it doesn't meet
30:49all your needs and meet some of them and
30:50so you keep doing it let me see it your
30:51hands here say I so we want to shift
30:54that
30:56[Music]
30:57the Tony Robbins podcast is directed by
31:00Tony Robbins and hosted by a New York
31:02Kerry song is our executive producer
31:03tether Culbertson is our associate
31:06producer Jamie carvajal and Adriel de la
31:09tarde ara digital editors special thanks
31:11to Diane Adcock and Mary Buchheit for
31:13their creative review copyright Robins
31:16research international
31:19you